Uroboros
by HeavenONFire
Summary: Fantasy AU. After a night of unparalleled passion, Prince Regent Kaidan Alenko was confronted with the greatest challenge and humiliation of his life. Facing the most feared warlord known as the first Specter, Kaidan had to determine the blurred line between friend and foe. MShenko, of course.
1. Prologue

A/N: It's been a long time since I wrote anything for Mass Effect, though Mshenko is my absolute OTP! Anyway, this was written for the Mass Effect Big Bang 2015. Special thanks to my beta asylumfarm and my artist angmarluna! They are awesome. And of course 1000 thanks to Azzy for Bioticbooty for organizing this!  
I'll just shut up and let you enjoy John and Kaidan. :-D

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Uroboros

01\. Prologue

"The king is dead." The words coming out of Councilor Robert Alenko's mouth sounded breathless and shallow. They carried the sense of shock that was reflected on the man's pale face.

Kaidan could not look away from his father as he tried to understand what he had just heard. "Father?" He asked gingerly, not daring to speak much louder. He had never seen his father like this, not once in his 15 years of life.

The door behind them opened with a creak, revealing the second Councilman who bore witness to the king's death. Udina looked just liked Kaidan's father, face ashen and eyes vacant. He padded Councilor Alenko on his shoulder and walked past them with the posture of a man that had just lost everything.

Kaidan blinked back at his father. The first Councilor to the king seemed very small at the moment. He stared at the ground before him, his hands shaking slightly at his sides. He sighed, blinking something out of his eyes. Kaidan did not believe that a man like his father was capable of crying and told himself quickly it probably was just the incense in the king's chambers.

"Kaidan..." the voice that called his name was broken. "Walk with me."

"Yes, Ser." Kaidan placed his gauntlet on the pommel of his sword and followed. His scale male rattled while he walked, and his armored boots thundered over the stone floor. His fingers closed more tightly around the brim of his helmet, bringing it to rest under the crook of his arm. He dared not speak, not knowing what he should say.

What could he say? How could he fathom the right words for the death of a monarch whose personal integrity had held together the entire Alliance of sovereign cities. What could he say to his father who had just lost a dear friend. What could Kaidan do?

Steven Hackett wasn't just their king. He was their combat commander, their pillar of strength. He had never only ordered the war and not fought in it himself. He had never just ruled. King Steven had lived with his people. He was beloved, respected and admired. He was a gentleman, a hero, a legend.

Suddenly, Kaidan felt a sting in his heart as he realized that it had been an honor. That his time with king Steven has passed. That he would never enter the throne-room, kneel down before his lord, and vow his loyalty again. That was over. From tomorrow on, someone else would occupy the place Kaidan always looked up to.

"I'm sorry, Father." He eventually said.

"His wound was severe," Robert Alenko replied with small voice. He stopped near a window overlooking Vancouver and sighed. Kaidan watched his father's hands land on the cold stone that stopped the trembling. "We knew he wouldn't make it."

"But the healers were optimistic."

"False hope. I knew he would die when they brought him home. I knew it... This damn war, it has claimed too much." Another deep sign initiated a deeper silence. Eventually, Councilor Alenko took in a breath of the night's air and turned to watch his son for the first time since an era came to this end. "We can mourn later. Right now, I need you to do something for me."

"Anything, Father."

"Ride to the residential district,. Find Lady Hannah and bring her son to me."

"Lady Hannah, King Steven's former captain of guard? What does she have to do with this?"

"She wasn't just his bodyguard," Kaidan's father faltered, but explained. "She was his mistress, too."

"Oh..." Kaidan swallowed. How quickly shadows would descent on a man after his death. "I will inform her."

"Bring her son to me."

"Father, what's going on?"

"Not now, Kaidan. Go, quickly."

Kaidan hesitated for a moment but chose to say nothing. He only nodded and briskly walked down the stone hallways to the stables. As he rode through the night streets of Vancouver, the cold wind did nothing to calm his mind. How many catastrophes could one man endure in a single night? The war had just barely ended a week ago. Most of Vancouver's people were still mourning their own losses, counting on the king to give them stability. They had believed in King Steven's virtues. What would they say if they ever learned that living among them was King Steven's mistress, probably raising a boy that was his son?

As a young Knight, Kaidan had not had time to listen to rumors. As far as he knew, Lady Hannah was a widow. No one seemed to know much about her linage, only that she was a commoner before marrying her husband. Following her husband's death, she served King Steven many years as a captain of guard. Kaidan did not remember the circumstance in which she was released and allowed to return to her home here in the city. It was over ten years ago. Could it be...?

Thinking about it, Kaidan felt the need to hurry. He increased his speed, wanting to ask Lady Hannah personally as soon as possible. When he entered the residential district,he noticed the darkened lanterns hanging by the sides of the road. This was a place for the nobility, there should be lanterns everywhere and patrols making sure the night stayed quite.

Kaidan left out an irritated snort, not knowing which house belonged to the woman, and he dreaded the idea of knocking on every door in the middle of the night and asking for the king's former lover like a servant boy. Just as Kaidan thought fate gave him no choice, the sound of hooves alerted him to the presence of a rider.

Increased heartbeat accompanied him as the young knight rushed towards the origin on the sound. He arrived just in time to see a black silhouette against the bright night sky. The figure rode a horse too big for his slender form. Even from this distance, Kaidan could make out the outline of a large sword slung across the rider's back. Kaidan spurred his horse forward, but it only drove the person further away. Whoever was fleeing the district threw a quick glance back, his face hidden in the shadow of a large hood. The stranger only halted for a breath, before urging his mount anew and vanishing down the road.

Kaidan bristled, the sense of danger overcoming him. He followed down the cobblestone street, wondering where the man came from as something horrible met his eyes. In the light of a pale moon, the dead body of the servant looked cold. The gate-boy had been stabbed brutally, his intestines still lying on the threshold. He had the key for the kicked-down gate in one hand, while the crashed lantern rested close to his other. Following the trail from the crime, Kaidan gasped at the image of a red sky, illuminated by fire that spouted from the back of the house before him.

Kaidan could not say how, but he just knew that he had found Lady Hannah's dwelling. He jumped down from his horse and unsheathed his sword. His advance into the estate was met with more dead bodies. Servants and guards were cut down equally. When he approached the main house, Kaidan caught the sound of fighting. He could smell the fire in the air now and winced at the heat rising around him.

Raising his hand in the manner of a battle mage, Kaidan conjured the blue fire that infused his blade. He quickly cast a spell over himself, protecting him from the fire and smaller damage. He ran towards the source of the sounds without thinking about what might really be happening. The door before him was locked but gave little resistance when Kaidan kicked it. Surprised by his arrival, two men in leather armor without a crest or sigil he recognized turned towards him. He did not recognize their faces, but the blood stained swords in their hands roused his anger.

In the back of the room, Lady Hannah had just locked her own sword with that of a third man. She kicked him in the midsection, pressing him away from her. "Ser," she called out to Kaidan. "Help me! They're after my boy!"

"Step away from Lady Hannah!" Kaidan commanded with the full authority of a 15-year-old knight. "Now!"

"No witnesses!" The man attacking Lady Hannah hissed. "Kill the knight!"

The two men facing Kaidan entered their attack position. They encircled the outnumbered knight. Murmuring words he had barely learned a few months ago, Kaidan channeled magic into his own hand. The wave he sent towards them caught only one of two. The man screamed as Kaidan's magic shocked him; the other dived out of range. The young battle mage, still sharp from recent war readied his sword and charged. Metal met metal in midair, sending sparks flying. They exchanged slashes and cuts, assessing each other's strength. A flash of metal caught Kaidan's attention. He instinctively sidestepped as the tip of the short-sword scraped against his armor.

Kaidan chanted, sending a ball of lighting towards the attackers. The man screamed when it hit, his leather armor quickly blackened with scorch. The man sunk to his knees, trying to compose himself from the recent damage as the other threw a dagger at Kaidan. The knight simply stayed where he was. The small blade repelled from his enchanted armor as Kaidan grunted. He readied himself yet again and charged. Picking up speed as he pressed forward, Kaidan jumped, his sword raised high above him. The slash that came down on the assassin was more than leather armor could handle. With blood spreading, Kaidan's blade sunk deep into the man's shoulder, before splitting his chest. The attacker spat blood into Kaidan's face then fell backwards.

A movement in his peripheral sight caught his attention. Kaidan brought his arm up just fast enough to block the sword. He cried out, feeling as if his left warm had been broken. It didn't penetrate his gauntlets, but left a heavy dent in it. He bashed at the man's sword arm and twisted it, breaking the man's wrists in the attempt. As the man cried out, Kaidan's knee came up to meet his belly. There was no time for mercy Kaidan knew, so he balled his good hand into a fist and brought it down to the man's temple with all his strength. The stranger fell to the ground and stopped moving immediately.

Knowing that there was a third man in the room, Kaidan didn't relax. He found the man still engaged in spectacular sword fight with a woman old enough to be Kaidan's mother. Her graying hair had come down as sweat covered her still beautiful face. Kaidan noticed that her movements were more unfocused than just a moment ago while those of the third attacker were as fearsome of before. It almost appeared as if the man was only playing with the older woman.

Kaidan jumped to his feet and charged the man. He pushed him out of her path and crashed with him into the wall. The impact made the attacker lose hold of his weapon. Without hesitation, the attacker's hands came to close around Kaidan's wrist. He tried to pry them away, but Kaidan was too angry to give in. He might still be young, but he had been training since he was a child. He could not let a cutthroat like this stand in his way.

"Who sent you?" Kaidan barked. "Who are you?"

"Death before surrender!" The man hissed. He let go of Kaidan's arm and reached for the knife on Kaidan's belt. The young knight had just enough time to step out of the range when he instinctively released his lightning ball, which caught the man fully in the chest, throwing him backwards against the wall.

Kaidan watched with pity as the assassin sunk to the floor, a big burn whole in his chest and blood on the wall when his head had hit. He knew that the man was dead before he even checked for any breathing. He would have loved to know where they had come from.

"Who are you?" Lady Hannah asked him feebly. She looked down at a bloodied hand coming away from her midsection and sunk down next to him.

"Lady Hannah!" Kaidan quickly took her in his arm, helping her to lie down in a more comfortable position. "You're injured."

"I know, young knight," She whispered. "Where is Steven?"

"I'm so sorry, my lady," Kaidan removed his own helmet to place it next to her. He was already gathering a healing spell in his hands as Lady Hannah stopped him.

"What happened to Steven?" She asked again. This time, Kaidan could see the unshed tears in her eyes.

"The King is dead."

She closed her eyes as those tears escaped. Kaidan did not know what else to say, so he only pushed his glowing hand onto her belly. It was hard to see where the wound really was underneath her torn robes and bloodstained skin. He tried nonetheless.

"What's your name, boy?"

"Kaidan, Kaidan Alenko."

"Robert's son..." she trained off. "You're a good boy. You'll be a good man."

"Thank you, my lady." Kaidan only said. "Please, stay still."

She struggled for something she wore around her neck and underneath her cloak, but was too weak to do so. Her eyes said 'please', so Kaidan reached for her neck and pulled the golden locket out from underneath her garment. She took it, opened it and laid it back into Kaidan's palm, all without saying anything.

On the one side was the royal crest of the house Hackett, on the other was a hand-drawn picture of a young boy about ten years old. He would not look like anything special by any means if it were not for those blue eyes that seemed to glow with magic.

"Is this?"

"My boy..." She coughed. "Please Ser Kaidan... please... find him, keep him safe."

"I..."

"Please," she tried not to cry as tears rolled down. "He's just a boy. He's innocent." She sobbed, clearly knowing that she would not survive the night. "He's my son."

"Is he King Steven's son?"

"He's..." She coughed. This time she could not stop. In his desperation, Kaidan cast another healing spell over her, knowing it would not help her. As Kaidan struggled, so did Lady Hannah. She coughed up more blood; her chin was almost completely red. She obviously wanted to say something to Kaidan, but the blood in her throat stopped her words.

It lasted for minutes. The entire time, Kaidan tried everything he had learned to save her, but he was no healer. All he knew was how to keep a solider alive until the real healer arrived. Lady Hannah had not been a soldier for over a decade. She was a woman long past her prime, whose strength had been completely consumed by the defense of her son. She was dying in Kaidan's arms.

"Lady Hannah," Kaidan suppressed the tears burning in his eyes. "I promise. I'll find him."


	2. A familiar stranger

Uroboros

02\. A familiar stranger

12 years later

A sharp scream rushed ahead of the sound of robes snapping, followed by large blocks of stone crushing into the street barely five yards away from Kaidan. The knight pulled on the reins of his mount, and the beast reared with a loud neigh. Kaidan gasped, struggling to stay in the saddle. He brought his mount under control with effort and patted its neck once it calmed down.

Men rushed passed him toward the place the giant stones had fallen from the sky. Shouts sounded, asking if anyone had been hurt. A woman peered out of a cabin near the impact, already barking orders. Her white armor was shining in the sun, her dark brown hair flowing.

Lady Ashley Williams shouted at the men, sending them back to their posts with harsh words. Her big gauntleted hand waved in front of their faces, as if she was threatening them with violence. She called for the construction leader and Kaidan watched from his high horse how she reprimanded him to be more cautious. The big man contracted by Kaidan to reinforce the city wall looked smaller every minute. After a while, Kaidan thought he would really see if what he had been told was true. Ashley was capable to make the hardest man cry like a girl.

"Chief," he called out, delivering the construction master from his misery. "How are things going here?"

"Lord Kaidan," she turned around sharply.

"My prince of virtue," the construction master gasped and quickly lowered his head. "I'm... I'm so sorry for..." he looked back at the crushed stones. "This. It will not happen again, milord. I promise."

"Make sure your men are safe." Kaidan nodded towards the big man. "I don't want anyone buried under the wall before our enemies arrive. You may return to your work."

"Yes, milord. Thank you, milord."

"Brief me, Lady Ashley." He descended from his horse and gave the reins to the squire.

"The repairs are almost done." She talked while walking, leading Kaidan towards the stone stairs. "We fixed some weak point along the battlements. The holes have been plugged and new reinforcements added. I made sure our armory and stocks are full. Though I still have some ideas about what we could do, if we have more time."

Yes, time.

Vancouver was a wealthy city. In the past 12 years during peaceful times, trade was Vancouver's sole focus. Kaidan's father, who had become king regent after King Steven's death, was nothing if not a brilliant businessman. He had transformed the city into something the world had never seen before. Stories began to spread that Vancouver's vaults were filled with gold and invaluable gems. And that the king regent and his family wore only the finest silk and drank the best wine from golden cups. It was said that, nothing was beyond the reach of Vancouver, not even time.

Though Kaidan could confirm all the other rumors, he knew that time was not something they could buy. This time, not even his father could bribe their enemies into retreating. Now they were faced with the most vicious and monstrous tribe of all the savage peoples marching their way.

They had received the report three weeks ago. Since then, Kaidan had not had a good night's sleep. He dreamed about the savage tribes he had encountered when he was younger. He remembered fighting men with different skin and clothing, using weapons and magic he did not understand. He remembered killing them with no more efforts than killing normal men. However, that was a long time ago. That was before stories of the Specter Fire Claws reached their civilization.

"Anything on your mind?"

"Just remembering something," Kaidan replied. They stopped at the battlements, where Kaidan looked over the lands surrounding Vancouver. They were littered with green fields and the farmers working them. Nothing indicated the coming of the nightmare of all kingdoms. "Have you heard the stories?"

"I'm not afraid!" Ashley spat, but Kaidan could see that she was not completely unfazed by their enemy.

The Specter Fire Claws were not just normal savages. They do not simply burn villages or fields. They do not just kill the men and rape their women. The Specter Fire Claws consumes them. Thousands of stories were out there, ranging from magical warriors blessed with immortality to demons from the abyss.

"Do you believe what they say?" Ashley's voice shook slightly. She tried to hide it, but Kaidan still heard it. "That they crawled out of hell to devour us?"

"I read the reports. They are... disturbing." He sighed. "I can't be distracted by those rumors and stories. From what I gathered, they are exceptional. They appear and attack, on that all reports agree. Their movements are hidden from us, by some foul magic I'm sure."

"So it is true? The Witch of Twilight is with them?"

"So it would seem," Kaidan nodded.

"Can't you do something?" Ash leaned closer, almost whispering. "With your magic?"

Kaidan threw her an irritated glance. "I'm a battle mage, Ash. I was trained to fight, not to... well do magic. I have no idea how they achieve that, and I don't really care. I just want to know when they'll be here."

"I though you most of all would be interested in their ways." There was some accusation in Ashley's tone, but Kaidan ignored it.

"I'd like to, if I have time. Right now, I have to make sure our city is well prepared when they arrive."

"Alright," Nodding, she took off her gauntlets and wiped her palm on her trousers. She talked while binding her hair into a knot again. "I head Eden Prime surrendered. The savage took half of the city and left. Those bastards." She snorted and started putting her gauntlets back on. "Eden Prime didn't even put up a fight! But I guess if their scouts didn't escape, we wouldn't have had any warning."

"For that I'm grateful." He watched Ash and wanted to scratch his own palm. No one thought about it, but armor like his was not really designed to be comfortable. "But I wonder if it's really better to put up a fight and still lose, not just half of your city, but half of your men as well."

"You're talking about Feros and Ilos, and all the others?"

"Yeah," Kaidan sighed. He remembered the nights sitting in the tavern, listening to the tales of the merchants who brought news of those fallen civilizations. The Specters had come out of nowhere, in a bright flash of light. They either laid siege to a city, or just attacked those without a strong wall. They burned down the castles, raided houses and took whatever they pleased. They killed the knights, the nobles and extinguished some great bloodlines that descended from legends. Eventually, they just marched out of the city with their prizes in hand and disappeared into the twilight.

Right now, Kaidan could not believe he once wanted to join the Specters. It was in a time when he was much younger and the Specters nothing but a tribe of warriors fighting slavers. In that time, Kaidan had dreamed of escaping his responsibilities and joining one of those freedom fighters. He had wanted to ride to his heart's content and travel with those magical creatures. He had dreamed of seeing the twilight land they supposedly travel through and witness all the wonders out there. And maybe, he would have found a man out there who could teach him how to love without restraint, how to be free. However, those were only dreams, adolescent fantasies that died when he had become a dutiful commander with men's lives depending on him. The more he learned of the world, and court, the further away Kaidan's dreams seemed to be. The more he waited, the more he forgot the kind of person he wanted to love.

"The battlements looks good," he ripped his mind away from the past and legends. "Good job, Chief. I hope they hold."

"You really think the Specters will attack."

"We don't know what they want," Kaidan said, rubbing his chin. "We are fortunate that we have time to prepare. Many don't have this chance."

"What does your father say?"

"You know him, he won't attack." Kaidan snorted. "He thinks like a merchant. He will try to bribe the Specters like he bribed all the others."

"How many times are we to be bullied?" Ash spat. Her face a little flushed, probably because she too wanted to fight instead of cowering before the demands of savage lords.

Kaidan shrugged. "Sometimes I wonder if he really believes that the army is heading our way. Or he considers the loss of men a price too high to be paid. I can't say I blame him."

"Praise for your father, I can't believe what I'm hearing." Ash slapped his arm.

"Everyone knows we have our differences," Kaidan whispered. "I'd rather fight. Specters or not, they are human and they can be killed. But if we fail, I don't think they'll spare Vancouver like they spared Eden Prime."

"Yeah, they'd probably burn our city down."

"A fate my father would avoid with everything he's got."

"Not like Councilor Udina," Ashley casually said, making Kaidan raise his brow. "It's not I like him, just... his politics are more aggressive, more... dignified."

"Dignified?" Kaidan gasped. "He's more concerned about his own ambitions. He would put all of us to the sword if that would save Vancouver."

"Can you blame him?" Ash shrugged. "We both swore to defend our city with our lives. Why blame someone if he takes it a little more literally? I do sometimes think he's a little bit ruthless in his tactics, but at least he delivers results."

"He's loyal to Vancouver, at least we can agree on that. I still don't like him too much. He's a politician. They think differently than we do. They don't know how it is to be on the front-lines, to wield a sword that takes life. They don't know that every mistake we make could be our last one. They are..."

Ashley interrupted him with a loud cough. She nudged her chin towards something at Kaidan's left and quickly lowered her gaze towards the ground. The prince regent turned to see the man he was just talking about approaching him in a palanquin. Udina raised a hand when he was in shouting distance and waited until Kaidan approached him.

"Councilor Udina," Kaidan bowed.

"Lord Kaidan," Udina nodded back. His eyes trailed back towards Ashley then to the battlements. "How are thing going here?"

"The repairs are almost done, Councilor." Kaidan answered. "A few days more and there's nothing they can do to our wall."

"Good. And the progress in the city?"

"The pantries are well stocked. I've posted double guards on each, with the Specters so close, people are getting agitated." Kaidan looked around, seeing the workers and soldiers already starting to avoid them.

"How long do you think can we hold out?"

"The siege? Probably half a year. Enough to establish additional supply lines. Anything longer, we might have famine in the poorer districts in the city."

"When until it reaches the nobility?"

"That depends on what the nobility wants for dinner."

"Alright, I understand your point." Udina finally stepped out of his palanquin. "There's another thing I need to talk to you about, Lord Kaidan."

Kaidan gestured at the cabin Ashley usually used as her office. Once inside, Udina sat down in Ashley's chair and acted as if Kaidan was only a recruit reporting.

"I will be honest with you, Kaidan." Udina started. "This is a crisis Vancouver has not witnessed for a long time. The Specter Fire Claws might be the greatest challenge we have to face in recent history. For the past 12 years, Vancouver was the center of Alliance power. Robert's leadership is a blessing to us all. But without a king to occupy the throne, this great realm will crumble."

"Why are you telling me this, Councilor?" Kaidan narrowed his eyes. He hoped that this would not turn into one of the moments where Udina lectured about the greatness of their realm.

"We cannot afford to look weak, Kaidan," Udina put both his elbows on the table. "Your father's strategy has spared us war in the past years, but I'm afraid it won't stay that way. This savage tribe is not like all the others. It is the greatest savage army the world has seen. They are no mere bandits. They are warriors, born to wage war. They will not stop until our civilization falls."

"They have spared cities before."

"True, but they have never accepted a bribe." Udina corrected. "I don't impose to know what their leader is thinking, only that your father's strategy will not work. I fear his offer would even insult the first Specter."

"What do you suggest, Councilor?"

"That we fight."

Kaidan sighed mentally. Of course, Udina would suggest that.

"When we fight before they expect us to, we might gain an advantage. Your troops stand ready, I believe."

"Of course, they do."

"Then it is up to you, Lord Kaidan."

"Even if I'm willing, my father will never order it. I've sworn to obey him." Kaidan shook his head. "I can't do as I please."

"The nobility is not so convinced," Udina stood and walked around the desk. "They believe that if we give into this Specter's demands, it will ruin Vancouver in the long term. Besides, they are sick of being humiliated by savages. How are we to call ourselves superior to the common folk if we tremble at the shouts of a wild man? Think about that, Lord Kaidan. How will history remember us?"

"With all due respect, Councilor, you're thinking ahead of yourself." Kaidan stepped back and defiantly raised his chin. "We must concentrate on what's on us. When Shepard does not accept our offer, I fear war is inevitable. But I will not challenge him, not for the sake of Vancouver's people."

"I ask not of you to challenge him, only to rethink the source of your loyalty."

"Excuse me?"

"Kaidan, you've sworn to serve the crown. Your father merely represents the crown. Your interest should be what's best for Vancouver, not for what your father wants. Your troops respect you, they love you. If you command it, they will follow. Kaidan, you need to teach them a lesson, that Vancouver will not be bullied."

"Your and my take on what's best for Vancouver are not the same, Councilor. I act as my conscience dictates." He tried to keep his anger in check. "And I don't appreciate my loyalty being questioned. I _am_ loyal to our king and his heir."

"Ah," Udina snorted. "The lost Hackett. You're chasing a ghost, Kaidan. The boy is dead."

"I believe otherwise. He's out there, I know it."

"That's a debate for another time," Udina made for the door. "You must not allow yourself to be sidetracked. Right now, Vancouver needs exceptional soldiers like you."

"Thank you, Councilor." Kaidan opened the door for the politician as he walked out.

"Will you be joining us in the castle tonight?" Udina said, one foot on the doorstep. "Your mother wanted me to ask you this."

Kaidan smiled. "No, I'd rather stay with the troops for now." The councilor nodded and stepped into the darkening night. Kaidan closed the door behind him and leaned against the wooden surface. Why was a talk with Udina always so tiresome?

A knock interrupted Kaidan's short rest. He pulled it open to see Ashley standing out there, eying him with a lifted brow.

"You alright?"

"You saw me talk to Udina, didn't you?"

"That bad?"

"He's good at reminding me of the downside of everything."

"In that case," Ashley grinned. "I know something to cheer you up. Don't give me that look; I know you haven't relaxed in weeks. Come join us at Chora's Den, Jenna is asking for you."

"Well, after this talk, I can use a drink."

By the time Kaidan entered Chora's Den it was way past the eighth bell. Before he took off his armor and washed himself at a bowl in Ashley's office, he kept finding things to do. He checked on the construction workers, making sure no one had been injured by the stone accident this afternoon. He paid a visit to the watchers on the walls, encouraging them for staying alone on a night like this. He even talked to the gate-guards, making sure that traffic was still normal.

When the eighth bell rang, Kaidan told himself that he had lingered long enough. Binding his belt with his sword around his waist, Kaidan grabbed his cloak and walked into the night streets. He might be in relative safety, but a knight would never go anywhere without his sword.

Chora's Den was a lovely tavern not far from the gate. It was frequented by merchants coming from other cities. In the past years, many soldiers had started to frequent the place, probably following Kaidan and Ashley's lead. When the knight entered, the bar-woman waved at him. Jenna was her name. According to Ashley, she liked him.

She put his favorite ale on the table before he asked and smiled her brightest smile. "It's on the house, prince of virtue." She pushed the jar closer to him, bending forward. Kaidan could not help but blush at the deep view into her cleavage.

"Thank you, Jenna," he said. "You don't have to treat me every time I come here."

"But if I don't, your men will." She leaned down on her hand, glancing up at Kaidan with sparkling eyes. "I just want to see the poor boys buy themselves some drinks."

"You're saying I'm not paying my own tab?" Kaidan laughed, grabbing the drink.

"Just saying that a lot of people want to pay for you."

"What have I done to earn that?"

"Being you isn't enough?"

Kaidan blushed deeper. He hoped that no one saw that. As he could not find something clever to say, Kaidan quickly thanked her again and turned from the barmaid. As he continued his search for Ashley, some of his men toasted him with their drinks. An especially young soldier even jumped up and saluted him as he walked by. Apparently, no one explained to this boy that ranks and titles were dropped once they entered Chora's den.

Kaidan found Ashley sitting in their usual corner, drinking a jar of ale and a half eaten plate of something in front of her. She was reading a book that Kaidan assumed was poetry. She glanced up when Kaidan joined her. With a sheepish smile, she put the book away and took a big gulp of her drink.

"Took you long enough," She challenged.

"I had to check on something." Kaidan gestured at her food. "What are you having?"

"Pork roast in brown ale sauce and honey crust," she picked at the meat with her fork. "I think they changed the recipe. It's better now. And I think they put some herbs in it. It tastes like spring."

"Are you drunk yet?"

She shook her head and took another bite. Kaidan felt the water gather in his mouth. When the food came, he could not take time to enjoy what Ashley described as spring but gulped it down. Until he was half-finished, Kaidan had not realized how hungry he was. Well, at least his mother was not here to criticize his manners.

"So what did Udina want?" Ashley asked after their empty plates were taken away and they were simply enjoying being full. "He didn't look very pleased."

"The same thing everybody wants," Kaidan took a drink. "It seems my father is making more enemies every day."

"Not my place to criticize."

"Didn't stop you this afternoon."

"We were alone."

"Good point," the knight leaned on his hand and took another swing at the ale. The music in the background was lovely. It made him want to talk to Ash about his problems. "Everyone wants me to turn against my father, or at least change his mind. Like if I could just walk up to him one day and withdraw my oath."

"I think they just want you to do it." Ash murmured. "I know I want to. Listen K, you're a good man, a good soldier. One of the few noble soldiers that isn't a complete ass. Your men respect you. Of course everyone wants you to lead instead of your father; you're the prince of virtues after all."

"It doesn't work that way," Kaidan chuckled. "And I'm not an actual prince. My father is only the king regent. I think no one really knows who comes after him."

"So what happens if you don't find the lost Hackett?"

"I'll find him."

"What if you don't?" Ash blinked, looking at Kaidan from behind her jar. "Some say he doesn't even exist."

"He's real."

"Are you sure?"

"All evidence points that way." Kaidan leaned back, his hand wandered up to a place on his chest. Ever since the night of his greatest failure, Kaidan wore the locket around his neck as if that boy in the locket was his own son. He had been looking for this boy his entire life. Everywhere he went, he tried. However, the answer was always the same. "I won't give up. He's out there and I'll find him."

"Knowing his name would help, you know."

"Thanks, Ash."

"You know, many believe that he's dead." Ash mused. "I heard some rumors. Supposedly, a boy was found murdered a few years back, baring the Hackett crest."

"Where?"

"In that shithole Omega." Ash drank again. "I heard a merchant say that he met a captain who had been to Omega."

"Let me guess, a friend of that pirate had a friend who knows someone who had been there." Kaidan sighed. "There are too many stories like these out there. Can't trust them. I know you don't believe, but I need to."

"What's so bad about being king? I mean, if your father..." she knocked on the table three times. "died, and you were to be king regent, what's so bad about it?"

"How am I supposed to find a lost boy if I have to govern a city?" Kaidan smirked. "Honestly, do you want me as your king?"

"Nah, can't have that!" Ash barked out a laugh. "You'd be a terrible king! You don't drink enough." She emptied her jar in one pull and promptly stood up. Kaidan watcher her make her way to Jenna to order some more and gossip with the barmaid.

That was when his eyes landed on the stranger leaning against the bar not so far behind Ashley. He was sure he had never met this man before, but the gaze that stranger directed at him said something else. Nervously, Kaidan looked over his shoulder to see if there was someone else, only to remember that he was sitting with his back pressed against the wall. Not knowing what else he could do, Kaidan hid his face behind the jar.

When he put his drink down, the stranger was coming towards him. In slight panic, Kaidan froze, watching the stranger stride with movements that should be neither impressing nor arousing. That man was simply walking.

The stranger sat a jar in front of Kaidan before sliding into Ashley's seat. He leaned back, posture completely relaxed. His eyes did not leave Kaidan and the soldier who somehow managed to maneuver his way through court intrigue found himself without words. Kaidan looked down at his own almost empty jar and cleared his throat. He shifted in his seat, desperately trying to avoid the attention of a man that was sitting directly in front of him.

The stranger's grin only grew a bit and he waited patiently for Kaidan to start the conversation.

"That seat is taken," Kaidan choked out eventually. He did not know why he was acting like a timid squire again, but something about his man was unnerving. Reminding himself that he was a praised lord and knight of Vancouver, Kaidan forced himself to look at this man. He was tall and well built, probably a soldier or a mercenary. His hair was cut short, almost shaved. A scar on his forehead interrupted his perfect hairline, making it even more interesting. Unlike most common men, this stranger had a clean trimmed beard that brought out his perfect, full lips. Those lips formed into a smile as Kaidan stared at them; suddenly reminding the knight was he was doing. He ripped his eyes away from those lips, up towards the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

There was a candle burning between them. In that moment, Kaidan's could not think of any more flattering light. Sitting in front of him was the most handsome man he could think of. With his skin almost golden and his eyes sparkling, the man pushed the drink towards Kaidan. An invitation the knight took without much thinking just for the sake of having something to do.

"Thank you," Kaidan muttered after he put the drink down. "But that seat is still taken."

"Ash will forgive me," the stranger said.

"You know Ash?"

"Everyone in Chora's Den knows the Chief of the guard, Ashley Williams."

"And who are you?" Kaidan tried to say. He choked a little and flushed at his own mishap. "I mean, have we met?"

"Maybe," the stranger grinned. His voice was so rich, and exactly the right tones to set Kaidan's inside on fire. Maybe it was just the ale, which tasted like it was spiced.

"Well, hello!" Ash suddenly was at the table again, holding another two jars in her hands. "Who's your new friend, Kaidan?"

"Ehm..." Kaidan stuttered.

"John," the stranger finally said. "At your service."

"John what?" Ash sat the jars down with the grace of a drunken woman, spilling a little of the ale. She pulled another chair up and joined them at the table.

"Just John." The stranger winked.

"I've never seen you around, who are you?"

"I came to see the city, heard it's beautiful."

"Will you be staying?" Kaidan promptly asked. For a moment, he did not realize how it sounded. Only at Ash's widened eyes, he caught up. He tried to repair the damage, but could not really bring out anything else.

"Maybe," The stranger that became John offered. "For the right reason."

"Seen anything you like yet?" Ashley asked, grinning for a reason Kaidan did not understand and could not say he wanted to know.

"Maybe." John answered, his eyes still on Kaidan.

Why was John staring at him like that? Did he not know that it was rude to stare? Did he not know that it made Kaidan uncomfortable? Kaidan drank again from his drink that was doing things to his body. He felt hot in his own clothes. He pulled at the collar and sighed out a bit as air met his skin there. He had no doubt that his face was already flushed from the drink.

"You alright?" Ash asked, sliding closer to Kaidan.

"Yeah," Kaidan choked out. Maybe his temperature was not completely due to the drink. The way this stranger presented himself was arousing. He sat casually, allowing Kaidan a very good view into his lap. His arms were exposed, lying on the table in Kaidan's reach. There was a bracer around his left wrist, bringing out just how strong his arms and hands were.

Without meaning to, Kaidan's eyes wandered. They traced down to his chest, covered by a dark red shirt. Eventually, Kaidan's eyes landed on the dagger John kept at his belt. It was like nothing he had seen before. The handle was made of a strange material, so black it didn't shine in the candlelight. There was a red stone set in the pummel and if Kaidan looked at it longer, he believed it glowing sometimes.

Suddenly, only a single thought occupied his mind. He was absolutely fascinated by it.

"A beautiful dagger you have there," Kaidan pointed out. "Can I see it?"

"Kaidan!" Ashley gasped, her face a mix between astonishment and shock.

"What's wrong?" His hand was on his sword immediately. Why was Ashley shouting?

"You just asked if you can see his..." she lowered her voice. " _Dagger_."

"So?"

John chuckled. "Maybe somewhere more private? I'd love to show it to you in every detail."

"Not so fast, stranger!" Ash hissed

But Kaidan only said, "Oh, okay."

"Excellent," John emptied his jar and put it back on the table. "Just tell me where."

"Ehm..." Kaidan thought about outside. But that was a little bit too dark to see anything. Maybe he could borrow Ashley's room here in the tavern. She had a cot in her office anyway. "Upstairs?"

"I'll be waiting," John stood, allowing Kaidan a very good view into his loin and the strangely crafted dagger hanging there. He gave Kaidan even a better look at his backside as he walked away.

"Can I borrow your room?" He asked Ashley as soon as the stranger disappeared.

"You realize what you are doing, right?"

"I should ask for another candle."

"Really?" she snorted. "You're really interested in his dagger? The weapon I mean."

"Yes, what else?"

"Oh, for god's sake!" She moaned. "10 years at court and you still trip over your tongue. Wake up, Prince of Virtue, he wasn't talking about his weapon. He wants to... bed you."

"What?" Something very hot went through Kaidan's body at that thought. He could suddenly picture himself laying with this man in bed, both naked and doing thing that would probably ruin his good reputation. "No, I didn't mean that! There's a jewel on the pummel, it was glowing. I've never seen something like that before. It's magic!"

"And I've never seen this." Ash pinched the bridge of her nose. "Now go and get that sorted out."

"What, no!" Kaidan flushed a deep red. "I'm not going up there if he thinks I'm going to... I can't even say that!"

"You got yourself into this mess!"

"You weren't helping!"

"What could _I_ have done?" She hissed. "He didn't even notice I was there! Now, go! It's not like you haven't done it before. Don't make him wait."

"No!" Kaidan refused to get up from his seat. His brain told him to remain here until he saw the chance to flee, but his lower body demanded something entirely else. "I can't go up there and just do it! I'm not that sort of men."

"Well, apparently you are." Ash pushed her chair back far enough for Kaidan to pass. "Don't be so hard on yourself. Ha!" She barked out a laugh. "Be hard on him!" Then, she held her belly and could not stop.

"Ashley!"

"Look Kaidan," she wiped the tears from the corner of her eye. "The Specters are probably going to be here in a few days, if not sooner. We both know what it'll be. You might not to get a chance to do this ever again. And besides, damn, he's really a looker!"

"Then you go!" Kaidan knew he was being unreasonable. However, he just could not step over his own shadow and do something he thought should have more meaning.

"I didn't invite him into my room, you did." Ash gave his chair a kick as a grin spread on her face. "Take it like a man, go sort it out. If you don't want to fuck him..."

"Ash!"

"Then tell and get him out of my room. I'm not sleeping on a cot if my bed isn't occupied. Now go, big boy!"

Kaidan sighed in defeat, which was only too easy to accept. He was already half aroused simply thinking about the stranger waiting for him in Ashley's room. He emptied his jar and wiped his mouth in a manner that would shock his mother into unconsciousness and rose from the chair he was supposedly glued to. He felt Ash's boot nudge his ass as he passed. He set one foot after another on the stairs leading into the room and felt the judgment of his previous self burning down on him.

To Hell with it, he thought. At least he could have a little fun before things got worse.


	3. the beginning of everything bad

Uroboros

03\. The beginning of everything bad

John knew which room belonged to Ashley Williams. He knew what the timid knight had intended to say, but he did not care. He saw his chance and he just had to take it. Not that he had planned any of this when he entered Vancouver with a caravan of merchants this morning.

He had been telling the truth when he said he wanted to see the city he was born in. It was too long since he had been here. 12 years. He barely remembered anything. He hadn't expected the city to be this crowded, this jumpy, and this scared. He could almost smell their fear in the streets. For a moment, John allowed his focus to stray from the coming pleasure. For a moment he wondered how anyone could live in a place like this were freedom was only an illusion.

Not even Kaidan was free. Where John called home, love was never something to be feared. Love never carried extra distaste. Love was primal, love was natural. Love made John human. But here in Vancouver, no one could truly fell in love without fearing the judgment of uninvolved parties.

That was exactly what John saw in Kaidan's face when the knight pushed the door open. He swallowed hard seeing John standing by the bed waiting for him. As Kaidan turned to lock the door, John promised himself that he would show Kaidan how love was celebrated where he came from.

With two long strides, John closed the distance between them. His hand found Kaidan's on the lock and turned it. He pushed the knight against the door and pressed his face into the crook of the man's neck. Kaidan smelled like a man who spent too much time in his armor. He noticed the faint smell of the oil Kaidan used to polish his armor. He could smell the leather he wore and the sweat on that smooth skin. It made John want him more.

"Wait," the knight half whispered, half moaned. "I... I didn't mean this."

"I know what you meant," John breathed out. His hands grasped Kaidan's waist and turned the man around in his arms. Kaidan was just as tall as John, with a body just as toned. John groaned as his cock twitched at the thought of Kaidan's scars. "I want you."

Kaidan breathed out when John moved to kiss the soft flesh of his throat. He licked the salty skin and savored the anticipation. Kaidan was gorgeous. His face was perfect, just the right mix of masculinity and tenderness. Now, as he winced with his brows furrowed and his lips slightly parted, Shepard could just devour him on the spot. But no, he would prolong this, make every moment as fulfilling as possible.

"Please, John," Kaidan moaned, halfheartedly pushing at him. "I can't do this."

John's hand moved lower until it rested on Kaidan's arousal. He grinned, because even through his pants Kaidan was bigger than he thought. "Stop lying to yourself."

"No, I'm not that kind of man!" Despite what he was saying, Kaidan made no attempt to stop John.

"And what's the crime in that?" Shepard slowly pulled Kaidan towards the bed that awaited them. He wasn't offended that Kaidan thought that of him. How unlikely was it that two men saw each other in a tavern and decided to fuck. John had to chuckle since it was more likely than many thought.

"I don't know..." Kaidan's hand went to press against John's chest. He pushed and the newcomer found himself sprawled across the bed.

"I like where this is going," John grinned.

"No, I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't." Kaidan sat down on the edge of the mattress and buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry."

"So your reputation wasn't exaggerated," John came up behind Kaidan, wrapping his arms around him. He leaned his head on Kaidan's back, taking in his scent deeply. In this moment, he loved Kaidan even more. "You are a man of virtue."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to mislead you or waste your time."

"What exactly is stopping you?" John kissed Kaidan's hair. Could this man be more adorable? "Apart from morals, I mean."

"I don't know you."

"Would it make it easier if I said I'm just a whore and would accept your coins for this?"

"No!" Kaidan gasped, turning to look at him. "Of course not!"

"A soldier that doesn't fancy whores," Shepard chuckled. "You're one of a kind, Kaidan." He rose from the bed and moved a few steps away from Kaidan. He unbuckled his belt and let the dagger drop to the ground. He took off his leather coat and shrugged out of his red shirt. His hand fumbled with the knot in his other belt that kept his pants up and Kaidan gasped.

"What are you doing?"

"Preparing."

"For what?"

"Whatever happens tonight."

"Nothing is going to happen!" Kaidan snapped breathlessly. "I'll leave and so will you."

"Really?" John removed the last layer of clothing covering his chest and presented it to Kaidan. "Then, I guess I can stop undressing myself."

John watched Kaidan swallow and absently rub at his cock. Well, that was a point for him.

"Let me help you with that," John breathed and knelt down before the lord. Kaidan didn't stop him when he opened the belt keeping his cloth together. Vancouver fashion wasn't exactly easy to get rid of, but John did whatever he could. Soon, John was face to face with the jewel of the Alenko family and it was beautiful.

"John..."

"Tell me what do to, milord," he teased.

Of all things Kaidan could have said, he chose "Go on."

"You're no fun." He opened his mouth and took the hard cook into his mouth. First, it tasted like all cocks tasted when they had been imprisoned in clothes all day. Then, the fact that something was growing in his mouth quickly overshadowed everything else. John took it deep first, wetting it with his own saliva. After a few hard strokes that made Kaidan moan, John started using the technique he had picked up in Omega. By now, with years to practice, he could make any whore jealous.

Kaidan's reaction was his pride. He knight gasped out every time John preformed a new trick. He sometimes sucked harshly, driving Kaidan towards climax fast only to slow down for more teasing. He bumped his head up and down, wanting more and more of that beautiful cock that was rock hard. It made him proud that Kaidan was this aroused. Soon, the taste of Kaidan's precum filled him mouth. John grinned, knowing that his own leaked just as much.

While still pleasing Kaidan with his own mouth, John started to massage his own throbbing cock. He admited that he was a man easily aroused, but this much erotic was hard to deal with. Never in his dreams, no, John corrected himself, he had dreamed of fucking Kaidan all the time. Ever since he first saw the knight, he wanted to do this to the virtuous man. Ever since then, John satisfied himself with Kaidan's image.

"Do you like this, milord?" He teased, pretending to be Kaidan's squire or something. It was his favorite game in his mind.

"Stop calling me that!" Kaidan gasped, eyes tightly shut and hands around John's head.

"As you wish, milord."

As if a switch was flipped, both men looked at each other and started undressing themselves with the eagerness of fumbling adolescence. John watched Kaidan get rid of his own coat, his shirts and his pants. Just as he thought, the knight had as many scars as he thought. Some of them were hardly visible, being years old and hidden under Kaidan's fluffy chest-hair. Watching Kaidan touch himself, John almost fell from the bed trying to step out of his pants.

"Come here!" the knight commanded.

John literally threw himself at the knight, having been waiting for this command. He landed in Kaidan's arms, and quickly pressed a kiss on his lips. He slung his arms around Kaidan and kissed him with the passion he had harbored for years. Kaidan's tongue was in his mouth the moment after, burning him and sending a pleasure through his body John didn't think was possible. He pushed Kaidan down and spread the legs of the knight with his own knees. He wanted still to do so much to the man, but couldn't wait any longer.

"Careful," the knight gasped between kisses he placed on John's shoulder. "It's been ages."

"You're killing me," John panted. He took two fingers into his own mouth and sucked on them in order to spread as much saliva as possible. He grinned because Kaidan moaned at that sight.

"Turn over," Kaidan said, already directing John's movements.

He obeyed gladly knowing only too well what Kaidan had in mind. For a man not doing this regularly, Kaidan was astonishingly good at it. When he closed his lips around John's cock, John almost forgot what he wanted to do. But quickly, he remembered, having Kaidan's cock right before him. He gave his fingers a last lick and moved down to the tight entrance that was waiting for him.

Kaidan was hot inside, his tight muscles closing around Shepard's fingers. For a moment, the knight forgot how to preform proper blow-job for he was too busy moaning. John's fingers moved faster, stretching him in the process. The more he fucked Kaidan with his hand, the more forcefully the knight sucked on his cock. With his senses screaming with pleasure, John couldn't concentrate. He moaned, moved and gasped all at the same time, feeling his climax building up stronger than the morning tide.

"Enough," he gasped eventually. Kaidan let him slip out of that hot mouth and spread his legs further. John crawled on top of Kaidan, placing himself between those strong legs. He kissed them as he hauled them over his shoulder. Looking down, John almost forgot how to breathe. "Ready?"

Kaidan nodded and John pushed in. Slowly, tenderly. The feeling was simply amazing. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth, concentrating only on Kaidan's ass around his cock. It was like being swallowed up by something that could take control of his whole being. Kaidan was a source of heat, fusing him with the fire of life. When he was completely inside, John noticed that the room wasn't silent. His blood rushing in his ears was too loud, blocking out the sound of Kaidan's sensual moan.

"God," the knight gasped. "I forgot how good it feels."

"Yeah?" John pressed down for a kiss. "I'll remind you."

John thrust forwards, making Kaidan groan. It was so good John repeated it immediately, just to hear that sound again. He repeated it over and over again, each time a little harder than the last. Kaidan's legs trembled on his shoulder, Kaidan's hands over his arms. With a desperate want he rarely felt inside himself, John pushed in hard, burying himself deep inside Kaidan.

He must have found the right spot for the knight suddenly threw his head back and cried out. His fingernails scratched over John's arms, making the warrior groan. This was too good. It was better than all his dreams and fantasies. This was real. He was really inside Kaidan, really fucking him, really making love to him. He was really with Kaidan.

He had so many things on his tongue but couldn't really say them. So he expressed his missing words with actions, with the language of his body, with the strength to love Kaidan. The knight seemed to enjoy this even more when John fucked him hard. He cried out, pleaded and even begged for more. The more Kaidan screamed, the more Shepard loved him.

He loved everything about Kaidan. He grabbed the other man's ankles and spread his legs from himself. He looked down at Kaidan's cock, bouncing up and down on that muscular body all while his own cock disappeared into Kaidan repeatedly. It was mesmerizing, watching their bodies join. It was fulfilling knowing that soon, his seed would be in Kaidan.

"Turn me around," Kaidan begged eventually, when he couldn't hold any longer. John flipped him onto his stomach and pulled his hips upwards. He knelt behind Kaidan's raised butt and marveled at the sight. Gorgeous. He pushed in momentarily, using their position for better leverage. It was satisfying hearing Kaidan's breathless cries of pleasure.

For what felt like an eternity, Shepard fucked Kaidan with all the strength and endurance he possessed. Once Shepard felt himself closing in on his climax again, he pushed Kaidan down to the bed, only to pound him into the mattress again, until a new wave built up. He repeated this many times, every time wanting more.

Eventually, Shepard was laying on top of Kaidan again. He placed one of Kaidan's strong thighs over his shoulder, while his free hand grasped Kaidan's cock. With every thrust he made, Kaidan's cock jerked in his palm. He almost forgot about his own pleasure, seeing the knight melting under his touch. After minutes of John's treatment, Kaidan took grasp of John's wrist and cursed.

"I'm so close!"

With rapid thrusts that would make Kaidan sore, John watched the beautiful cock peak in his hand. The hot seed landed on Kaidan's defined abdomen. John pulled for a last time and then released Kaidan's cock. Leaning down for a kiss, John conjured the last of his strength. With his lips sealed to Kaidan's and their tongue just as much intertwined with as their bodies, John spent his load deep into the Prince of Virtue of Vancouver.

John jerked awake as the first ray of sun light hit his face. He was somewhere unfamiliar, sleeping in something resembling a bed. There was a person next to him, but John wasn't sure who he was. He glanced around, realizing that he really was in a bed with a stranger. Again.

He moaned, feeling his sore muscles protest. Out of curiosity who he had fucked, John turned to study the calm face of the man next to him. The memory of last night hit him like a hammer, making him cherish the pain in his body. He had really preformed to his limits last night and it was all worth it.

For a moment, John couldn't believe that it was really Kaidan sleeping next to him. For a moment, he had thought it a dream. The symbol of what all men should achieve to become, the best and most honorable of all knights was in his bed, cuddling with his pillow. John's heart ached at the sight. He leaned down to run his thumb over Kaidan's brow and kiss the skin on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around the hot body of this gorgeous man and for once, allowed himself to fall back into bed.

Kaidan shifted under his touch, sliding closer. John couldn't resist pulling him into an embrace, kissing his temple and run his hands through Kaidan's hair. After everything that had happened to him, after so many years, John just still couldn't forget Kaidan and how much he loved the knight.

But eventually, as the noise of the street reached him through the window, John pulled himself away. He had wasted enough time and indulged enough in his own pleasure. He threw a glance at the sun outside and noted that only a few hours remained to complete the ritual. But at least, he had found just the right one to use as an anchor.

Trying to stay silent, John sneaked around the bed. He had difficulty finding all of his clothes so he made do with what he had. In the end, John was satisfied that the important sections of his body were covered. Who cared that he wasn't wearing anything under his coat. Should they see a little skin on his chest, it wasn't like he wasn't handsome.

Just when John picked up the dagger he had dropped last night, Kaidan shifted in the bed.

"Hey," the knight murmured. "Are you leaving?"

"In a moment, yes." John sat back down on the bed, his hand immediately seeking out Kaidan's. "How are you?"

"Sore?" the knight chuckled. "You?"

"Sore." John returned the smile. He watched Kaidan shift into a sitting position and was glad nothing was exposed except for his upper body. Otherwise, leaving would be very hard.

"So..." John started. How was he going to do this? "Kaidan... I..."

"I don't know what to say," the knight looked out of the window as if he was hiding something. "I don't usually do this kind of things."

"Sleeping with a man? Could have fooled me."

"Sleeping with a stranger."

"Ah, right, stranger." John nodded. He shouldn't be hurt because Kaidan didn't know him. It was his own fault. "I should go." He stepped away from the bed and forced his body to move towards the door. He tried not to feel wounded because the man he loved would simply let him go.

"Wait," Kaidan called out and John could breathe again.

"Yes?" he turned around with maybe a little too much eagerness. Kaidan was just getting out of bed and putting his pants on. John stared with his mouth open and resisted the urge to push him into bed again. "Kaidan?"

"Thank you," the knight whispered, his face blushed.

"For what?"

"For making me remember."

John grinned. "I'm that good."

"I didn't mean it like that," Kaidan sat down, looking at John as if seeing him for the first time. "I've been pretending that I don't need this. That I'm not like that."

"What do you mean?" John scratched the back of his head.

"I almost forgot who I am. And what I want." He looked at John with the expression of a confused man. "I've never met someone like you before. You're different."

"I know." John grinned.

"I... ah..." the knight fidgeted. "I wonder if I'm going to see you again."

"I sure hope so."

That brought a smile to Kaidan's face. His eyes were suddenly sparkling. He stepped closer towards the warrior. John certainly hoped that Kaidan wouldn't notice the pounding in his chest. With every step Kaidan took, John's hope rose higher.

"I," the knight sighed when they were close enough to touch. He took John's hand in his while the warrior felt he was about to faint. "I barely know anything about you, but I feel as if I've known you all my life. And if given the chance, I would like to know you, deeply."

"Are you flirting with me?"

"I'm clearly out of practice," Kaidan chuckled. "Well, I didn't have much opportunity to practice. When we have time, would you let me?"

"Of course," John blurred out. "We have a connection. Where I come from, we call it fate."

"Yeah?"

"Kaidan, I..." John bit his tongue just in time. "I don't know what life holds for me. But one thing is certain that I want to see you again."

Instead of answering, Kaidan pulled John into a kiss. It wasn't like the ones they had shared the night before. This one wasn't blinded by passion, but something that would last longer. For himself, John knew that it was love.

"Listen, John," Kaidan stammered when he pulled away. "I really want to see you again, but this is a bad time. You must have heard about the Specters. They are coming."

"Your point is?"

"I want you to either get out of the city and deeper in." Kaidan said. "If we are to have war, I don't want you to get caught up in it."

"I can handle myself." John grinned.

"I don't doubt that, but you must understand I would worry about you."

"After only one night?" John teased. "You're very bold, milord."

Kaidan blushed. "Well," Kaidan sighed with humor. "Just stay safe okay? And come meet me when this is over?"

"Wouldn't miss it," John chuckled and slapped Kaidan's ass. He gave the man another kiss and turned to leave with a lightness around his heart. When he was at the door, he lingered. "Do you really think it'll come to war."

"I hope they'll see reason," Kaidan snorted. "With something so handsome waiting for me, declaring war is getting harder by the minute."

"Take care, then." With that John ripped himself from Kaidan's presence.

The sun was almost in its zenith when John rode out of the City. Saying goodbye to Vancouver was a lot easier than the last time. For a moment, he could remember the cries of combat behind him as his home was set on fire. This time, John knew where he was headed instead of the last time when his whole world just crumbled.

For two hours, John rode without pause. He rode fast, he had lingered too long at Kaidan's side. Though he didn't regret any of the time he had spent with that handsome man, he cursed his own sentimentality. But Kaidan made him feel. Made him soft and weak. Kaidan made him a lot more like his former self instead of the man he had become.

When he had past the farmlands surrounding Vancouver, John kept a careful lookout for plains big enough to house an entire army. He found a place only three hours of ride away from the City wall and stopped his horse. He stood alone on a wide plain. No mountains or forests to all sides, only small hills and farms. This is exactly what he needed.

John closed his eyes and conjured the memory of Kaidan's lips on his. He retreated into his own mind, seeing only what had happened last night. John held on to the feeling of being with Kaidan, of having the man close to him. He listened to Kaidan's promise of seeing him again and breathed out.

With that strong bond to hold him to the place he stood, John took the dagger from his belt. He removed the bracer of his left wrist and placed the black blade there. With barely any force, the edge cut into his flesh. Blood spread out from the gash and John quickly stretched his arms away from his body. He watched them soak into the earth until it was big enough

John took the black dagger into his bleeding hand and whispered the words he was taught. Though he understood none of the words, he could guess at their meaning. He raised the dagger high as the ritual demanded and stabbed it back down into the earth soaked with his blood. The red jewel in the pummel pulsed, sending waves of energy through its blade. The blood glowed a bright red as a blast of energy past John and spread over the land.

When John opened his eyes, the empty plain he stood in was filled with dust and smoke. Out of the blur, silhouettes formed that finally became familiar figures.

"Shepard," Liara approached him, her hands already glowing with a healing spell. "You are getting better at this."

"Thanks," he gave her his arm to heal. "I've found a strong anchor."

"I can feel it," she smiled at him. "Conjuring our entire camp from the twilight land isn't an easy task. Maybe I can make a mage out of you after all."

"I'm good with my battle magic. Yours is way out of my league."

"Seeing him performing more blood-magic? You just want to screw with my life, don't you, Liara?" The once noble, Garrus Vakkarian strode towards him with the confidence of a conquering hero that could care less about the world. He had his belong spear slung on his back, while his black armor was again polished to reflect the sun. "Took you long enough," Jon's best friend remarked, coming to stand before him in casual manner. "What's the hold up?"

"Sore cock?" John shrugged.

"Looks like someone had fun," his other blood-brother, James Vega chuckled. "Glad to have you back. For a moment, I thought we are stuck in nightland."

"Have a little faith in me!" John laughed. "I'm a good blood-mage when I try."

"So, what's the situation?" Garrus handed him a water-skin that was naturally filled with wine.

"Nice of you to ask," John grinned and took a long gulp. "Vancouver is aware that we're coming. Someone from Eden Prime tipped them off. They fortified their walls and refilled their stocks. They can hold out for months under siege."

"So they won't simply surrender." Grunt came to join their group. "How bad."

"Not likely," John shook his head. "But I think they'll be reasonable. Is my army ready?"

"Look for yourself," Garrus pointed his spear at the camp behind John. Standing there were rolls upon rolls of soldiers, waiting for the order to march towards yet another place that needed cleansing. Looking at their faces, Shepard knew that none of them would show mercy to the unjust.

"What's our plan?" Liara retreated her hands and looked up at him in expectation. "Should we attack?"

"Our source was wrong, there's is no slavery in Vancouver." John frowned. "Still, the people there are far from free."

"And? Are the really that rich?" Garrus wanted to know.

"That they are."

"And the food?"

"Good."

"So, we gonna attack?" James asked. He was already playing with his grand-cleaver, ready for another fight.

"That depends," Shepard grinned and marched towards his own tent. To be a Specter again, he needed his armor. "If they'll give me what I want, all I want."


	4. Specters

Uroboros

04\. Specters

Kaidan would not stay he was scared, but he was far from confidant.

The Army marching his way was huge, enormous even. Kaidan doubted that the world had ever seen such an army under one banner, or one man in this case. Even if the Alliance of all sovereign cities pooled their troops, he could barely outnumber this one.

"You got to be kidding me!" Ash gasped next to him.

The battlements around them were full with soldiers. Kaidan had sounded the bell as soon as the first watcher detected the growing black line on the horizon. Within only two hours, the green fields around Vancouver ended where the abyss began. It stretched from the horizon until one kilometer away from the city wall.

"How are they so many? How is this possible?" Ashley's hand clasped harder around the handle of her still sheathed sword. "Where did they come from?"

"Steady, Chief," Kaidan warned. He narrowed his eyes and tried to get a hold of what was in the distance without success. No, the Specters could not have an army that darkened the world. It was simply impossible. This was some kind of trick, some dark magic from unknown lands. This had to be.

"What now?" Ashley's face was pale, shining with sweat.

"I'll sort it out."

"Will you attack?"

"Only if they don't see reason!" Kaidan snorted and turned from his enemy. "Ash, I want you up here."

"What?" Her eyes widened for a fraction. Soldiers around them had stopped to listen, drawing closer by the minute. Ash threw a careful glance over her shoulder, then turned back to hiss in low voice. "No, I'm coming with you."

"Not this time, Chief!"

"I'm your guard! My place is at your side."

"Don't argue with me, Ash!" Kaidan snapped back. "I'll negotiate with them alone. When things go wrong, I want you to close the gate and lock everything down. We've prepared for this."

"Let me take a small team and come with you." She grabbed his arm as he turned to go. A young soldier instantly stepped out of the line, clearly offering himself as a volunteer. Others followed, placing one clenched fist over their hearts. Ashley's grip around Kaidan's wrist grew tighter. "Please." She whispered.

For a moment, Kaidan considered her offer. He appreciated the loyalty of his men and thanked them with only a nod. "No. Ash, you're our best chance if anything happens to me. Now do as I command, prepare for the siege. We still have time."

The next two hours went by in a blaze. Kaidan found so many things to do; he had barely time to breathe. He ordered a small troop to gather the tribute his father had prepared and inform the nobility to take shelter in the castle. He gathered his troops and arranged them along the battlements and behind the gate. With so many people gathered at the front gate, chaos was difficult to avoid.

"Get the civilians inside and close the damn gate!" He barked when the Specters stopped advancing. "Battle mages, take your position on the wall! Deal with your reserve with care and attack only on my command. Where are the scouts? Have they returned? "

"My lord," Ashley called from the battlements. Kaidan sprinted up to the walkway, taking three steps at a time. His armor felt uncomfortably warm in the late afternoon sun. However, he could not distract himself with a little discomfort right now.

"What's the situation?"

"They've stopped." Ashley pointed at the black squares standing just outside of their firing range. "They have no siege equipment, at least none I can see. Cavalry up front, infantry behind. It won't be pretty."

As they watched, five riders broke off from the main bulk. They approached the city quickly on horseback, leaving a trail of dust behind him.

"Numbers?"

"About twenty-thousand."

"Twenty-thousand!" Kaidan gasped. "Is this confirmed? Where are the scouts?"

"They haven't returned, my lord." Ashley shook her head. "They probably won't."

"How do they just march twenty-thousand men up to our gate without us noticing?" He cursed. "I thought we had more time."

A runner arrived and reported breathlessly that the tribute was here. Kaidan nodded and threw a last glance at the black army standing in front of his gate. It was the worst day of his life, Kaidan thought. Never before had he had to negotiate for his entire kingdom. What was his father thinking?

"Any orders from my father?" Kaidan asked, hoping that his father has changed his mind.

"No, Ser." The runner said.

"Nothing? He said nothing?"

"He said to proceed as planned." The runner fidgeted and reported. "It has never failed before."

"Then pray he isn't wrong!" Kaidan cursed and stormed down the stairs. He jumped down the last of then and immediately called for his horse. He did not really think about what he was doing, only that he somehow needed to prevent an attack. If the Specters really wanted to confront them head on, Vancouver could not defend itself. Their best hope was to protect the wall and pray that without siege equipment, the Specters would fail at Vancouver's only defense.

"My prince of virtue," the soldier bringing Kaidan's horse saluted. "We are with you until the end. Vancouver is our home as well. At your command, we are prepared to lay down our lives for it."

"I..." Kaidan wanted to reply with something clever, but sighed. "I appreciate it, soldier."

"We will follow you anywhere, Ser."

Choosing his words carefully, Kaidan said. "I will not treat your lives recklessly, you have my word. For now, stay vigilant and... await my command." Kaidan gave the command to open the gate. He rode out alone, hoping that his social skills were enough to stop the Specters. He just needed to smooth them enough to offer the tribute. He just needed to buy Vancouver some time.

The sun bashed down on him, heating his armor. The hood under his helmet was already soaked with sweat as the helmet blocked out much of his view. He felt the soreness in his body due to weeks of stress. Even riding was painful today. With every step, he was reminded of what had happened last night.

He shook his head quickly. He could not allow himself to be distracted. He needed all his courage and focus to face the greatest crisis of his life. Sitting in his saddle with a confidence he did not feel, Kaidan remained in full sight of all his men and women on the battlements. He waited patiently, counting the breaths until the five black riders were in speaking distance.

They were an imposing sight. Their armors in various designs were completely black, polished to reflect the light around them. Their faces were hidden behind helmets, showing only their eyes. One woman was among them. Her body was shrouded in black fabric with black scale in some places. Her face was covered by a strange half-mask that hid not her bluish lips. Even in the saddle, the woman appeared elegant and graces, as if she was not of this world.

It was she who rode out to address him. "Greeting, Prince of Virtue," she inclined her head, her azure eyes sparkling with intensity. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you. Your reputation precedes you."

"Greetings to you as well, Stranger," Kaidan replied and took off his helmet. Even though dangerous, he was still in presence of a lady. "You may know my name, but I don't know yours."

"My name is Liara T'soni; you may also know me as the witch of twilight." She gave him a gentle smile, which made Kaidan swallow. "I speak on behalf of my clan and these are my blood-brothers. We are the Specters."

"I am prince regent Kaidan, son of king regent Robert of house Alenko. I am empowered to negotiate with you."

"Excellent," she said, raising her chin.

"You are in Alliance territory without proper invitation. I'm afraid I must ask you to leave." Kaidan started. It might not be the wisest thing to say, but he must not appear weak.

"How rude of you," a man behind Liara interrupted. "We have come a long way for the hospitality of Vancouver." By the design of his armor, Kaidan guessed that he was from Palavan. If he remembered correctly, that might even been the disgraced noble Garrus Vakarian himself who had betrayed his home and joined the savage tribe.

"Yet we have none to offer," Kaidan replied fiercely. "Your crime against Eden Prime has not been forgotten. It is only the mercy of my father that allows you to leave in peace. We wish no war with the Specter Fire Claws, nor do we wish to provoke any misunderstanding between us."

"How well spoken, Prince Kaidan," Liara praised. "But your father's mercy does not touch us. We have not marched our people across the entire realm to be refused at the gate."

"What is it you want, then?" Kaidan challenged. He glowered at the woman before him who enraged him in a way he could not describe. She had a way of getting under his skin. Even if only minutes had passed since their introduction, his initial curiosity about this witch had grown into contempt. If he was not completely wrong, she was the one behind all the magic that had put the cities of the Alliance at such a disadvantage.

"You see," the emissary of the Specter Fire Claws chuckled. "We have heard many tales of Vancouver's wonders. The stories telling of its beauty travel far across the land. Its wealth is a legend that rouses desire in the heart of men that demands satisfaction." She raised her eyes towards the battlements. "We have come to witness your magnificent realm with our own eyes and confirm what has enthralled us for so long."

"Some stories are better left as stories," Kaidan snorted. "They have always been the object for fascination. Yet unsolved, it often loses the charm that seemed so alluring in the myth. Maybe it is wise to keep it where it belonged and admire its power from afar."

"How..." she sunk her eyes to Kaidan's chest and lifted them to him with new vigor. "Human of you to say. I am a woman from the twilight land. I have lived a hundred years and have seen more than you can imagine. Illusion exists to confuse us from the truth and it is the truth what we Specters seek to witness."

"The truth is that you are not welcome." Kaidan announced, his words fueled by the mortification of her lecture. "Turn back, Witch. Leave our land and we might all avoid bloodshed."

"We don't fear you!" Another man behind Liara called out, nudging his chin towards Kaidan. It was not his voice that called Kaidan's attention first, but the enormous grand-cleaver slung over his back.

"Neither do we," The prince straightened his back. "But this is not a simple contest of valor. Vancouver is a peaceful city, housing thousands of innocents. I have no wish to expose my people to... unnecessary violence. Let us be reasonable and agree on nonviolent terms. You have the choice of simply walking away. We will not hold a grudge."

"You misunderstand me, Prince Kaidan," the witch of twilight smiled dangerously. "We do not come to simply talk, and we will not leave empty handed. It is a matter of pride."

"In that case," Kaidan swallowed and closed his eyes for a brief moment. Now was the chance. Without turning in his saddle, Kaidan waved at Ashley with his left hand. He observed the change in the rider's body language, all of them suddenly tensing up. They were well within the firing range. Should Kaidan give the command, they would all die.

Instead, the gate behind him opened just far enough for a few men to pass. Twenty servants rushed out, each four carrying an iron-shod crate between them. Those were set down between the prince regent and the five strangers, forming a line that should not be crossed.

"As a gesture of benevolence and for your trouble, my father offers you these gifts," Kaidan said and signaled his servants to open the crates. They bowed before the noble and quickly retreated back to the gate, where they stayed out of earshot. A few of the riders gasped at the collection of gold, silver and invaluable jewels. Kaidan hoped that it was enough to smooth over the desire in their vicious hearts.

"He values your... absence and hopes that you accept his offering." Kaidan continued. "He hopes you find good use for them in your home and wishes you a good journey."

"Oh..." Liara voiced with a barely noticeable twitch to her lips. However, her voice stayed cold as iron as if none of this treasure touched her mind. She spared the crates another brief glance as the man on the right side of Vakarian rode out of their line.

The man stopped his mount just on top of the gold and snorted. He took his time at surveying Kaidan from head to toe. His posture betrayed nothing of his mood and Kaidan wondered what was about to happen. It added to his nervousness that a new played entered the negotiation that was so close to being successful.

With a chuckle, the man began loosening the straps on his chin. Kaidan watched with wide-eyed fascination as the warrior removed the black helmet that hid everything but his eyes. He was about to look into a Specter's face, a deed no living man had ever performed. Agitation roared inside him, driving his blood to rush and his heart to thunder. When the helmet finally was put down, Kaidan gasped at the familiar feature behind it.

Even now, John's blue eyes gleamed as if a candle burned between them.

"You!" Kaidan breathed out. He felt something hot rouse inside him as memory of last night and this morning rushed back to crush him.

"May I present," the witch of twilight announced. "Commander John Shepard, the first Specter and the leader of the united clans."

Kaidan only continued to gape.

"How generous of him. Tell your father my thanks," John said with a wicked smile, showing off his perfect teeth. "Better, I'll tell him myself."

"You! You're a Specter!" Kaidan could say nothing else. He did not know what to think right now. Inside him, a battle of anger and arousal raged. His hands trembled as his mind tried to comprehend the complexity of this situation. A side of him wanted to jump out of his saddle and strangle the Specter with his bare hands. The other side of him was imagining the heated kiss that would inevitably happen between them. "You are really a Specter." Kaidan gasped again, disbelieve still heavy in his voice. He hated himself because the thought excited him beyond bearing.

"The first," John winked. "And for you, the only."

"You lied to me!" Kaidan hissed. He quickly remind himself what he was supposed to do here and swallowed hard, buying time for his composure to return. "I have no business with you! Take the gold and get off my land!"

"Really? Your land?" John's brow twitched teasingly. "I though Vancouver belongs to the line of Hackett."

"What is it you want?" Kaidan narrowed his eyes. It was just so easy to be harsh to a man who had already had his cock in his mouth. He reprimanded himself that duty should not be mixed with pleasure. But how could he, he had not even washed the scent of this Specter off his own skin.

"I have business to discuss with the king regent, and I'd like to thank him personally for his... handsome welcome." The way John's eyes traveled to Kaidan's groin made him very comfortable.

"There's no need," Kaidan raised a hand to stop John's advance. "I will direct your gratitude to him."

"How about I drop by for a drink tomorrow. I head the hospitality of Vancouver counted to the best."

"Excuse me?" Had the man not heard him?

"Like I said, I'll stay for the right reason," Something in John's voice changed, making Kaidan swallow hard. "And I think a friendship like ours should be deepened. Wouldn't you like that? I've gone through a lot of trouble to be here and I don't want to leave until..." his eyes trailed down Kaidan's body again. "Vancouver's marvel encompasses me."

"I find it hard to believe," Kaidan snorted. This conversation was getting ridiculous. He could not even be sure what Shepard was talking about.

"What my brother wants to say is," The once noble Garrus Vakarian aligned his horse with Shepard's. His small eyes glistened in a way that reminded Kaidan of a viper before snapping. "That for once, he wishes to enter your city as a guest, not a conqueror."

"That's an offer you should not decline lightly, Prince Kaidan." Liara reminded him. "Shepard never asks nicely twice."

"And I'm hungry," one of the warriors following Shepard grunted. "Can I eat this princeling?"

"No, Grunt," Shepard chuckled. "He's not _your_ dessert."

On that, all of the Specters laughed. It made Kaidan's face burn with mortification. Did they already know? Had Shepard already told them? Was last night nothing but a scheme to gain advantage over him? Had the handsome stranger that turned out to be his greatest enemy showed him the most delicious pleasure only to use it to blackmail him? Or was it for another reason entirely?

"So, what do you say, my sweet prince?" John leaned forwards, his blue eyes fixed on Kaidan. "Will you risk war over pride?"

"I... No," Kaidan sighed and shook his head.

"It's settled then," Shepard exclaimed and began to turn his horse, not paying any attention to the gifts Kaidan had offered. "We will be there at sundown tomorrow. With any luck, it might be a chance for us to come together."

The four men barked out laughter as the witch of twilight chuckled. They turned their backs on Kaidan and began riding towards where their army waited. Kaidan wondered what the savage warriors back at camp would do once they learned that their chief just invited himself to a royal dinner. Even after the Specters rode out of firing distance, Kaidan couldn't fathom the situation. Should he be glad that peace was being prolonged or should he be mad for being played? After years of fearing the Specter's arrival, the prince had expected anything but this.

Oh, his father was going to love it.

There was not enough wine in Vancouver for Kaidan to endure his humiliation. This was beyond the demand of a savage; this was an insult on a very personal level.

Sitting in his place at the high table, Kaidan stared down at his guests with distaste. He should not have let them come. He should have commanded the battle mages to burn them to ashes when he had the chance. Now, the Prince of Virtue had to watch the barbarians drink their best wine from goblets of gold and dance on the tables where once only the most noble sat.

He snorted as the warrior introduced as James Vega lifted his shirt to show off his tattoos. The ladies in front of him giggled at each other as they traced their fingers over his muscular chest. Kaidan needed more wine.

"Try not to look so stern," his mother's voice sounded next to him. She had taken the empty seat of his father and leaned in closer. "You have performed brilliantly. Your father and I are very proud of you. We have never thought that your eloquence would spare us war. How ingenious of you to appease them with a feast. How far you have come since your introduction to the court!" She padded his hand and smiled warmly at him. "I never thought that you'll become a smooth-talker. Would you tell me your secret?"

"I had no choice," Kaidan tried to sound happy for his mother's sake. She was a gentle woman with a merciful heart. She did not deserve his self-pity.

She laughed slightly, as if he was only making a joke. "Why so unhappy, dear? They are your guests. No one else ever had this honor."

"I don't know if that's a reason to celebrate." Kaidan winced as the warrior Grunt threw a chicken across the hall, hitting Garrus' plate with a splash. They burst out laughing, as if it was funny to confirm to the world that they were nothing but savages. "I apologize for disgracing our hall with their presence." Kaidan puffed.

"Nonsense," the queen regent chuckled. "You are too hard on yourself. I rather enjoy their presence. It is..." she hesitated as Grunt swallowed another chicken whole. "Refreshing."

"Anything to prevent war, is it?"

"When you are king, you will understand."

Kaidan did not reply to that. He did not want to ignite yet another discussion where his mother tried to convince him of abandoning his vow to a dead woman. After years, Kaidan had stopped blaming her for not believing that the lost Hackett was out there. After all, they did not hold Lady Hannah and looked her in the eyes as she took her last breath. They did not promise the dying woman that his son would be safe by his side.

Kaidan sighed and stared deeper into his own goblet. He saw his own face reflected in the red wine and suddenly had to think of the color of the shirt John wore the other night. He tried not to remember what happened between them, but was reminded every time he moved. The fierceness of John's lovemaking had left its marks.

Kaidan ripped his thoughts from the first Specter. He needed to think about how best to navigate through the pit of hungry wolves that was the royal court.

When he returned with the news of having the Specters joining them for dinner, the opinions of the nobles were divided. Some of them accused Kaidan of treachery, inviting their enemies to dine at the same table. Others were relieved that a fight could be prevented. For the past twenty-four hours, Kaidan was the sole topic of every conversation. He has seen them whisper behind their hands and suddenly stop when he approached. He felt their eyes on him wherever he went, passing judgment over him. He felt the consequences of his own action weight down on him heavily.

"Kaidan," his mother tried yet again.

"They are tramping on our tradition and expect us to be happy about it."

"Your father is happy about it." The Queen smiled. "Think of the lives you've saved with your tolerance."

"Is it tolerance?" The prince regent wondered. "Some call it weakness."

"Mercy is never a weakness." The king regent had returned. He gestured for his wife to stay in the seat and took the one on her other side. He poured himself a little wine and drank it with a smile. "When I was younger, such lesson was denied to me. I've lost too many friends before realizing it. By inviting them, you might have gained us an invaluable ally."

"Ally?" Kaidan almost choked on his wine. "What did Jo... Shepard say to you?"

"He does not wish to attack our city. He sees the benefit of having us as his friends."

"Really?"

"As for the detail of our alliance, we will speak tomorrow." king regent Robert mused. "I believe he is considering a closer bond."

"That is good news, dear." His mother smiled almost loudly.

Kaidan cursed on the inside. He had to warn his father about Shepard. That man was a liar, an enemy and a man without any sense of honor. He was nothing but a brute with only two things on his mind, sex and conquest. His father was not there at the gate and did not feel the weight of their threat. King Regent Robert had not been seduced into a man's bed and used as... what exactly?

"Please excuse me," Kaidan stood and bowed to his parents.

They waved at him, both in good moods. They started talking about the possibility of an alliance. Before Kaidan was too far away, he picked up his mother saying something about a marriage and his father already speculating about possible trade routes. They were just so pragmatic. Kaidan shook his head.

He needed a friendlier face to talk to. Kaidan's search for Ashley was quickly stopped by the advance of Councilor Udina. The man looked beyond displeased. With a wrinkle to his nose as if those barbarians were stealing his finest silver, the councilor snorted. "This is unacceptable! This is an imposition. It's intolerable."

"You speak my mind, Councilor." Kaidan nodded.

"Yet you invited them."

"They invited themselves, Councilor." Kaidan explained. "It was this or war."

"What fool would think a war could be prevented by a feast? I do not trust them and neither should you."

"Oh believe me, Councilor, I know who they are." Kaidan watched Garrus Vakarian sitting at the table like it was his party and courting some of the ladies in waiting. He told tales of his and Shepard's conquest while the ladies giggled at everything he said. Vakarian obviously enjoyed it as the women fawned over him. They were such weak-hearted creatures, Kaidan thought. A little fame of high birth and the lure of adventure, and they forgot that Vakarian was their enemy yesterday and will be it again tomorrow.

"Prince regent," Udina brought him out of his observation. "You must stop your father from forming any premature alliances. This will make us very unpopular with all the other alliance kingdoms."

"He has other worries than politics at the moment. There is an army of twenty-thousand camped just outside the city. The first Specter, the leader of united clans is in his hall, together with figures we have only heard of in legends."

"These are no legends!" Udina almost spat. "They are just savages!"

"Yet it was you who reminded me of the threat they pose just two days ago."

"My vigilant concern is what keeps us safe, Prince Kaidan."

"A strong wall and soldiers do that," Kaidan retorted. "Lives were at stake. I had no choice but to agree. I cannot simply tell my father to send them away and risk open war."

"That will not stop the judgment of the other kingdoms. What happened at Eden Prime is still fresh in our hearts. They will not forgive us so easily for siding with our enemies." Udina's lecture went on as they walked. "This will deal a large blow to our integrity. Word is already spreading. I believe soon we will have to explain ourselves. Strong accusation will be hard to avoid this time. Some of them still haven't forgiven us for losing King Steven's heir."

"They blame only me for that." Kaidan corrected.

"But since the boy was killed, we have no chance for atonement." Udina spoke as if he had not heard Kaidan.

"Councilor, King Steven's son is not dead." Kaidan reminded him.

"That did little to stop the rumors. I want to believe that your hunt will be successful. I want to think that after all these years the poor boy is still alive. However, the reality looks different. The faith in his return is dwindling every day. Some are even convinced that he does not exist at all. If he is not found within the moon, the alliance will crumble. Many cities are already preparing for that day. They want to cut ties with the Alliance, with us. Without a strong leader, theses savage will be the least of our troubles."

"What would you have me do, Councilor?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. He hoped that the pressure behind his eyes was not becoming of a headache.

"You must convince your father of the severity of our situation. The Specters cannot be trusted. We need to set an example that Vancouver is strong. We must get rid of Shepard and his blood-brothers. Now is the best chance."

"What?" Kaidan gasped, not believing what he had just heard. "Are you suggesting I should... kill my guest under my own roof?"

"I have talked to your chief of guard," Udina lowered his voice. "She is a remarkable woman with much sense for duty. She is gathering her troops as we speak."

"No!" Kaidan commanded. It surprised him that his first thought was to warn Shepard. Only his second was that of honor. "That is beneath us. Councilor, I bid you not to continue that line of thought."

"That would solve the first of our problems." Udina whispered. "With Shepard and his followers dead, his army is without a leader. They consist of many clans and strips. I believe that infighting will break out, taking their focus off us. Defeating a headless snake will be easy for us."

"Perhaps," Kaidan snorted. "But for tonight, Shepard and his brothers are my guests and they shall not be harmed. In addition, I must ask you not to command _my_ troops as you see fit. If you have a wish in the future, bring it to me. Now, please excuse me."

Kaidan emptied his goblet and put it on the nearest surface. He must find Ashley as soon as possible to intercept Udina's illegitimate order. How could that man think of such a thing? How could he dare to abuse Kaidan's hospitality by assassinating his guest? Even if Kaidan despised Shepard and his brothers, he would not lower himself into killing them at dinner.

As he hurried out of the dining hall, the prince regent only stopped to exchange words with the most powerful out of courtesy. He avoided the rest as far as possible. The last he had seen Ashley; she was patrolling just outside the hall. He snorted almost with annoyance as he found his path again blocked by a drunken savage. Raising his eyes, Kaidan stared into the most mesmerizing shade of blue. Shepard's wicked grin only roused Kaidan's temper.

"Where have you been?" He demanded to know immediately. He had not missed that Shepard was not in the hall for nearly an hour.

"Oh, so possessive. I like that." Shepard leaned down to kiss him, only to be pushed away harshly.

"Are you out of your mind?" He quickly turned to see if anyone had seen them. Even if Kaidan had left the dining hall already, there were still too many people around.

"I've been told that before. So, where are you off to?"

"None of your business!"

"That's not an appropriate tone, sweet prince."

"What do you know of it?" A personal anger fused his words. He had so much to say but could say none of them here at court. Reminding himself of what he was and where he was, Kaidan quickly sighed. "That was unworthy. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." Shepard grinned. "Can we speak somewhere more private?"

"Depends on what you want to talk about."

"About us." Shepard was blunt and Kaidan blinked.

"There is no _us_ anymore!" Kaidan hissed and quickly lowered his volume again.

"That's not what you promised," Shepard reached out for him but Kaidan stepped back.

"Stop that, we can be seen."

"That's what you're worried about? Are you ashamed of me?"

"Of course I am!" Kaidan shouted and decided that it needed to be said. He dragged Shepard along into the garden that was almost deserted. In these post winter months, the nights were still chilly. "I am the prince regent; you are the leader of the Specters! We can't be together! What am I saying? I don't want to be with you!" It hurt to say that because in his heart, Kaidan wanted John.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"No!" He gasped out in exasperation. "You lied to me. You deceived me. Dammit, Shepard! This should never have happened."

"What?"

"Whatever is between us!"

"So you feel something for me?" The Specter grinned and made a move towards Kaidan.

The knight had just enough time to escape Shepard's grasp. "No!"

"Stop lying to yourself!" With strength and dominance, the stranger pushed Kaidan against the wall and pressed his lips again Kaidan's. For a second, the prince regent allowed the magic of this night to work. He tasted the delicious wine on those perfect lips and could not help but moan into Shepard's mouth. Their tongues intertwined with the same passion they had shared two nights before as Shepard's hand started wandering over Kaidan's body.

The knight felt his lower body awaken. He winced at the pressure of Shepard's rousing cock against him and for a moment, he was ready to give in again. Kaidan wanted this but despised this at the same time. Shepard was still his enemy, his most dangerous foe. But also, Shepard was all that Kaidan wanted. In everything the savage lord did, he reminded Kaidan that he was a free man, following nothing but his own heart. He was a conqueror, taking everything he desired, even love. The man standing there, kissing him was all that Kaidan once wanted to be become. Many, many years ago, Kaidan had dreamed about falling in love with a man like Shepard.

However, this was reality.

"No!" Kaidan gasped and pushed away from his lover. "I can't do this."

"Is it virtues standing in your way again?"

"No, it's self-esteem!" Kaidan spat. "You will not use me again."

"That's not what I want."

"I don't care about what you want," his anger was not completely directed at Shepard. But Shepard certainly was the source for it. "I have no reason to trust you or to like you. From the moment we met, all you did was manipulating me."

"Kaidan..."

"It's _prince regent_!" Kaidan reminded him. He forced himself to stare into those blue eyes and say what he had wanted to say all evening. "How dare you! How dare you touch me, use me and then march an army to my door! You threatened my people with war and death, yet you dare to claim that we have something between us. I am not the fool you think of me. Don't touch me! You have discarded what we had in that night and soiled my trust with your dishonesty. I don't know why you wanted me, and I don't care. But I will not submit to you and nor will Vancouver. You are still my enemy."

He was panting hard when his rant ended. He watched understanding slowly seep into the savage lord he had just yelled at. For a moment, Kaidan though he had gone too far and that Shepard's fist would be in his face. He would even prefer it. For once, Kaidan was fine with ending an argument in a primal way. But something was changing in Shepard's face that reminded the prince just who Shepard was.

A dangerous glow started within Shepard's eyes, growing into a blue fire that enveloped the Specter. The warrior's hands moved past to push Kaidan back against the stone wall, making the prince groan. Shepard's magic triggered Kaidan's. He noticed the world around them lighting up in blue as Shepard's lips crushed down on his. Shepard's callused hand came to cup Kaidan's nape, drawing him closer until not even air had room between them.

Kaidan did not remember when he pushed his tongue into Shepard's mouth or when Shepard opened his pants, only that Shepard's fingers were doing things to him. This was the most erotic night of Kaidan's life. Hidden between blooming roses and standing under naked stars, Kaidan tried not to fall for a man he should hate.

"Stop," he gasped feebly, tilting his head to make room for Shepard's lips on his throat. The Specter's teeth scratched along his tender skin, making a shiver rush over Kaidan's entire body. "Please, don't do this to me. We're exposed."

"I want them to see!" Shepard groaned, his hands already wandering under Kaidan's robes. "I want them to know that you're mine!"

"I'm not yours!" Kaidan pushed at the Specter, but at the same time did not want to relinquish his hold of Shepard's strong body. The flesh under all that leather was too hot, almost burning Kaidan's fingers. He bit down on Shepard's shoulder just as the Specter lifted him off the ground.

His snatching protest was silenced by Shepard's lips on his. He felt the world turn around him, noticing only distantly where the great Specter was leading him. When Shepard placed Kaidan rather gently on the ground, the prince finally gave up pretending he did not want this. His body relaxed momentarily as his arms ripped Shepard's clothes open. He moaned when the Specter pushed his pants aside, freeing his painfully aroused cock into the night air.

Shepard was the most handsome man Kaidan had ever seen, he admitted it. Everything about his appearance was perfect. His face, his hair, his skin and even his scent. In this moment, Kaidan could forget that Shepard was a dangerous warlord. He could only see a hot man who had given him the most unforgettable night of his life.

As Shepard started pumping both of them, rubbing their cocks together in his hand, Kaidan closed his eyes and pulled his bitter enemy down into a kiss. Moaning into Shepard's mouth, Kaidan felt the tension build up inside him. Kaidan reached his climax abruptly, having been caught by surprise. His sudden expression of pleasure was smothered by Shepard's tongue deep inside his mouth. Following him only a moment later, the Specter came over him, spreading his load over Kaidan's half-exposed body.

Shepard rolled down from him immediately. He spread out on the gravel and panted. Listening to it and slowly coming down from the effect of wine and lust, Kaidan stared into the black night sky. He asked himself what he had just done and dared not turning towards the man right next to him. He swallowed hard, a panic rising in him. What if someone saw him? What if this was discovered, whatever it was he was trying to hide. His moment of weakness could cost him everything he had ever accomplished. His reputation would forever been tainted and whatever peace they could achieve would have been built on a scandal.

Not trusting himself to be in Shepard's presence anymore without doing something stupid, the knight jumped up from the ground. He wiped away the evidence of his debauchery hastily and replaced his open fly. He smoothed over his robes and lingered not a moment longer. He managed a crisp "Thank you and good night." before running off towards the main hall. For once, Kaidan decided to flee.

He did not look back and risk seeing Shepard's expression. He could not think about how Shepard felt right now or what consequences his actions would have. Right now, he needed to find Ashley and continued what he had planned before Shepard delayed him in such spectacular fashion.

He found her leaning at the entrance of the dining hall where she should have been when he first left the place. In words harsher than she deserved, Kaidan reminded her that she followed no one's orders but his. He was not in the mood to respond to her reservations and the suspicious frown she gave him. He observed the mixture of anger and perhaps doubt darken her cheeks, not knowing what else she had done this night. With too many thoughts occupying his mind, Kaidan left her to do her job.

He excused himself for the night and could not be fast enough when he raced back into his own chambers. Everything was happening too fast. In the last three days, Kaidan had made more mistakes than he could count. Feeling that his life was littered with failures that could not be undone, Kaidan left out a scream. He looked down on himself, magical fire burning around him and semen stain on his robes.

He needed to calm down. He needed a very cold bath to banish Shepard's scent on his flesh and Shepard's face from his mind.


	5. Wicked Words

Uroboros

05\. Wicked Words

The lord of the largest savage army in the world barged into the throne-room of the sovereign kingdom of Vancouver, his brows furrowed deeply over blue glistening eyes as his cheeks darkened by an angry flush.

"Who did this? I wanted to rest, but found myself dumped in the stable instead? Who let me sleep there?" He demanded to know. The king of savage wiped the straw from his shoulders as he squared them. "This is an insult to the Specter Fire Claws!"

"This must be a terrible misunderstanding!" the king regent gasped. He looked genuinely surprised, as if Shepard was indeed proclaiming new information. "I will have servants escort you to our best room. I'm sure you want to..." he tried to hide the wrinkle to his nose. "refresh yourself."

"Answer my question!" Shepard barked and came to stand right before the king and his high table. He might have been more drunk than usual last night, especially after Kaidan left him devastated on the ground after their reunion, but he was sure he did not find his own way to the stables. When he awoke this morning, a horse was chewing in front of his face. He stank like cattle, like dried dung and moldy straw. He smelled like the savage they wanted believe he was.

"I am heartbroken to see you so, great Specter," the queen started. She spoke with a softer voice that reminded Shepard of his mother, which did little to smooth his temper. "I will personally make sure your comfort is seen to, if that pleases you."

"You make think of this as a joke, my lady" Shepard snorted. "But I have been humiliated! I asked to be brought to my room; instead, your servants lead me into the stable as if I was nothing more than an animal! Is this how you treat your guests?"

Shepard's outrage was interrupted by the arrival of the man whose sight angered him even more. Though he had no trouble of being seen half-naked and covered in dirt, this was not the kind of situation he wanted Kaidan to see him in. What would the prince regent think of him right now? Standing here before the ruling couple, his chest bare of clothing and nothing but leather pants covered his lower half.

"Interesting gathering," Kaidan breathed, slowly taking seat on his father's other side. He refused to meet Shepard's eyes as he continued. "You look troubled, Specter."

"I might have disturbed the horses." Shepard said and heard Garrus chuckle behind him. "Your servant confused my quarter with the stable."

"Excuse me?" Kaidan's eyes widened a fraction. He looked to his right, where Ashley stood. She had observed Shepard with suspicion the entire previous night. She shrugged slightly and gave the prince regent an accusing look. The prince regent coughed. "I am very sorry for the unreliability of our servants. If it pleases you, I will find the responsible one and have justice delivered."

"Where I come from, justice is delivered when the accused face my judgment!" Shepard challenged with his chin. He glanced back at his own brothers and sister who all had stood up from their table. They gathered slowly behind Shepard, showing their intimidating presence.

"Then the one responsible will face your judgment," Lord Alenko quickly added before Shepard could speak more. There was a slight waver in his tone, which gave Shepard's confidence even more edge.

"That's all?" Shepard asked.

"Forgive my intrusion," Liara stepped forwards, coming to stand where Shepard was. She hinted an abbreviated bow at the Alenkos. "But isn't the failure of the servant also the failure of the master? You insult us even more by offering us nothing but the... prankster servant."

"It was only a misunderstanding, I'm sure." Lord Alenko was not begging yet, but Shepard intended to make him do just that.

"A misunderstanding that shouldn't have happened!" Shepard snorted. "Unless the servants you employ are blind."

"Of course not!" Kaidan snapped.

"How else could they have confused me with a mount?"

"I..." Kaidan coughed slightly. Shepard smirked at the blush that crept into Kaidan's face. Shepard had so many naughty things on his tongue and chose to say none of them. It would not help the situation if not only worsen them.

"I am truly sorry," Lady Alenko chimed in. "We will not allow such cruelty to go unpunished, you have our word on it. Maybe we can sort this out during lunch?"

"Food?" Shepard spat. "Is that how I am to be treated? I'm not a dog that barks because you tempt it with treat! I have no interest in sharing food with you."

Shepard narrowed his eyes as Lady Alenko nudged closer to her husband. They whispered something the rest of the court could not hear. Kaidan's eyes widened slightly at what the king regent said and tried to disagree if Shepard read him right. However, the king regent only lifted one hand to silence his son.

"Forgive our poor choice of words and our misplaced trust in our servants, great Specter," the king inclined his head. "For our failure at hospitality, I will reimburse you. Have your pick at my kingdom's treasure. Will this apology please you?"

"Everything?" Shepard raised a curious brow.

"Everything you can carry shall be yours." King Regent Alenko nodded.

Shepard could not stop the crooked grin from spreading. He turned towards Liara who gave him a subtle nod. When he looked back, Garrus, James and Grunt were eying him with determination. They all three nodded. It was their way to show loyalty, to let Shepard know that he was not alone in this. With more confidence, Shepard faced the Alenko family.

They were like the pictures on the wall. They had the luck of carrying the right family name, descending from men far greater than themselves. The throne was not theirs to keep and should have never been. Had misfortune not befallen another, more innocent one, the Alenkos would not even be here.

"What is your answer, great Specter?" Lord Alenko spoke as if he had won this round. "What treasure do you desire from my realm?"

"Yeah," Shepard nodded. He raised his arm, pointing it directly at the man sitting in front of him. "I'll have him. I'll take the Prince of Virtue."

"What?" the prince regent gasped.

"Excuse me?" the queen regent exclaimed.

"No!" Lord Alenko could not stop those words.

"I have your word, great king regent."

"It's preposterous!" Kaidan rose from his chair, face suddenly flushed deep red.

"Kaidan is my only son." Lord Alenko looked from Shepard to his son and then back. He was better at hiding his shock, though it was still very obvious. "He is not a prize to be claimed. That's impossible."

"I'll have no other." The Specter was not in the gaming mood anymore. His anger from last night and this morning, or rather midday was gone. The battle fought with words was fused by that anger, but it was won. Now, it was about the loot and of course, the great Commander John Shepard would have nothing but the best.

"Claim anything else you like," the Lord offered quickly. "But you cannot have my son. He is the heir to my throne, the future king of this kingdom. You cannot have him."

"Are you serious?" Shepard sneered. He turned towards the lords and ladies who had gathered in the throne-room. Many of them whispered excitedly, others only gasped as Shepard strode in slowly forward. "Is this what we can expect from the King of Vancouver, the leader of the Alliance of Sovereign kingdoms? You made three promises to me since sundown last night. The hospitality of your castle was denied to me. The culprit for my humiliation is not delivered. Now, you refuse me the promised apology? Maybe I should leave and reconsider my own... hospitality."

"You dare to threaten us again, savage?" Kaidan shouted, finally meeting Shepard's gaze. "You march your army into our territory without provocation. You blackmailed your way into our home, now you wish to kidnap one of us. Have you no honor? Where is your sense of justice?"

"I am but a savage, aren't I? You of all should know it." Shepard shrugged. "On second thought, you were the one to extend your hospitality to me. Shouldn't you be the one to make up for those failures?"

"You dare..."

"Just a thought." Shepard laughed and winked at the prince regent. After what Kaidan had said and did to him last night, Shepard found great pleasure in angering the man. He did not know why, but it just made him happy.

"Shepard," Liara whispered. They quickly gathered around in a loose circle while the nobles held their own council. "Have you thought this through?"

"No," he answered truthfully. "But I don't think they have a way out."

"You're right, Shepard." Garrus nodded. "The Alenkos are terribly stuck up on honor. Once their word has been given, they cannot go back on it. They can't refuse you now, not if they want to keep their good name."

Grunt chuckled in his own way, deep and full with mischief. "So we're going to fight for food after all. Only it's not meat but dessert." He chuckled again and Shepard joined in.

"I'm sure there's still some meat on that one," Garrus winked at Shepard and both grinned the way only best friends do, knowing perfectly what is on the other's mind.

"Is that what you'll do?" Liara stepped in, bringing some soberness into their circle.

"Tell you what, Liara," Shepard turned towards her, meaning what he said. "If you ever find someone who sets fire to your loins and occupies your every thought, I'll gladly go to war for you."

"I understand and I appreciate the thought." She smirked. "But when that day comes, I doubt I'll need your help."

"Ha! She's got you, Shepard!" James laughed.

"I think they're ready." Garrus hinted at the nobles behind Shepard. The first Specter turned with the smug grin of a wicked winner and challenged them without words. He knew desperation when he saw it, and the Alenkos were desperate.

A man Shepard did not recognize had joined them. The robbed man with the posture of a politician who thought words were enough to protect him was chatting quickly to Kaidan. The prince nodded sometimes and tried to reply but was quickly cut off by the politician again. Eventually, Kaidan nodded with a deep frown on his face and replied the words to his father.

But the king shook his head. "No, I refuse." He said, suddenly, a strength in his voice that wasn't there just minute ago. It made the Specter very curious. "My son is not a subject of negotiation."

"Everything is a subject of negotiation, King Regent Alenko." Liara reminded him.

"Not this one!" He stood from his chair and supported both his arms on the high table. "When my son invited you into our home, I was delighted by your visit. We have given you the honor of calling you our guests and welcomed you as our own. We have provided you with food and drink. We endured your excessive conduct for the sake of peace. However, if peace cannot be maintained between us, I shall not be forced. We have tolerated enough of your barbarism and harassment. We will tolerate no more."

"Have care what you speak, Lord Alenko," Shepard warned. "I will take you for your words."

"You have come far enough." The ruler declared. "My mercy shall not be taken for weakness. My son will not be your slave."

"And there I thought you just dread the parting," Shepard joked. "I have no intention of making him my slave. That is beneath us. We are free. I ask not of the Prince of Virtue to be my servant, but my wedded mate. He shall join my loyal brotherhood and ride at my side. He'll have a life of no less pleasure, but a lot more adventure. He'll be my equal, my husband."

It seemed as if the entire court gasped at the same time. The words "outrageous" and "horrendous" were whispered loud enough for all to hear. A few men took this as a personal insult and promptly asked to attack. Other ladies in the corner broke into tears, crying out that no savage should defile their prince. Kaidan stood tall; every emotion was driven off his face. He stared, his lips pressed into a thin line.

A whooshing sound was quickly followed by magical fire that surrounded the prince. Though he stood unmoving, the magic around him lashed out as if trying to harm Shepard.

"Your insult cannot be forgiven," Kaidan's father said. "My son will not wed someone like you."

"Then you shouldn't have offered me any treasure from your realm." Shepard pointed out. "I have no desire for the gold you hoard, nor the land you rule. I have no need of your aid. I can defeat my own enemies. All I want is the jewel you keep most dear. I want the best Vancouver has to offer. Choose wisely, Lord Alenko. Your son, or your people for I will have what I came for. One way or another."

"You're a monster!" Kaidan spat.

"No, only a Specter."

"You will not have our prince!" A random knight stepped out of the line to the left. "I'll defend his honor with my life!" He drew his sword and pointed it directly at Shepard.

Immediately, Shepard's brothers unsheathed their own weapons. Liara's eyes burned behind her black mask as a blue fireball gathered in her palm. The knight did not waver, holding his sword high. These people had too much empty pride, Shepard thought. They would risk their lives so lightly for something that was worth absolutely nothing.

"Enough!" Kaidan thundered from his place at the throne. He stepped down one step after another, his body still glowing in the blur fire that also shadowed his amber eyes. They were so astonishingly beautiful Shepard forgot just for a second where he was. He forced his mind to center on the moment, watching Kaidan approach.

"No one will sacrifice his life on my behalf," Kaidan said. "Nor will anyone harms a man that still stands within my protection."

"But, prince Kaidan..."

"I thank you for your bravery, Ser Jenkis." Kaidan waved the man back into line. "I have brought this upon us. If a duel is to be held, it shall be my sword against his."

"Kaidan..." the queen regent gasped.

"Mother," Kaidan only held up a hand. "This is my fight. One that is long overdue."

"Lady Ashley!" The Queen called out, almost begging. "Please, stop my son from his foolishness."

"My lady," Ashley bowed. "Savage or not, Prince Kaidan spoke out the duel. His action is legitimate and honorable. My vow forbids me to interfere."

"It is, indeed." The politician said with an oily voice. "Prince regent Kaidan initiated it. If the challenge is accepted, no force can stop it."

"Do you accept?" Kaidan was right in front of Shepard now. The fire around him dimmed just enough to see everything playing on his face. "If I win, you leave our City and never come back."

"If I win," Shepard smirked. "You come with me."

"Agreed." Kaidan nodded.

The whole court seemed to hold its breath. Behind him, king regent Alenko nodded bitterly. Gasps and encouragements were shouted alike. The women were the loudest. Who wouldn't fancy a duel in the throne-room before lunch was even served. They clapped and promised their daughters or themselves to Kaidan if he freed them of Shepard. The men called out things that were plain stupid in Shepard's ears. What had heritage to do with who was the better fighter? Why would Kaidan's family name protect him from Shepard's blade? Why would Shepard fail only because he was the leader of a savage army?

Well, that was how nobles thought. That was why all nobles fell before Shepard.

"Your weapon of choice?" Shepard asked. Kaidan drew his sword from the sheath on his belt as an answer. It was as bright as his armor and grew even brighter when Kaidan charged it with his magic. A magnificent sight, Shepard marveled. He hoped he would not be disappointed by Kaidan's skills. He had always wanted to see it firsthand. "Fine by me."

He turned towards Garrus, who only nodded. Stepping aside, the first of his blood-brothers revealed the armory master of their army Shepard had sent for. Steve Cortez nodded to him and presented him his weapon. He looked down at the jeweled sheath with a crest well known here in Vancouver. With a long pull, Shepard drew the longsword from its resting place. He had not used this sword for proper reason for a long time. However, he practiced every day with it.

"Arcturus," Kaidan gasped.

"You recognized it? Good." Shepard readied himself in an offensive stance.

"It belonged to King Steven!" Kaidan's eyes burned. "How is it in your possession?"

"It was a gift!" Shepard attacked. An overhead slash performed by both hands came down on Kaidan. The prince lifted his own sword in a perfect parry. But the sheer force of Shepard's attack struck Kaidan hard, making his blade slide off Kaidan's blade, and onto the prince's armor. Sparks flew as Shepard's sword connected with Kaidan's shoulder-plate.

"Look like I have an advantage over you," Kaidan hissed as Shepard came close to cross their blades again.

"My skills are my armor," Shepard replied. "Let the best man win!"

Kaidan's lighting came down from the sky, crashing into the polished stone where Shepard had just been. The warrior danced out of the way. He might not have Kaidan's metal skin, but he had speed and agility. He had the freedom to perform more vicious attacks that would tire out a knight in armor quickly.

But Kaidan was still young and strong. The cuts he performed with his sword were disciplined, controlled as if every nuance of the movement was studied and repeated a thousand times. Shepard blocked them easily, seeing them coming long before they were delivered. However, what he could not really account for was Kaidan's magic.

The knight wielded it not like an external power, but like a part of him. When Shepard performed a long upwards strike, Kaidan blocked it out with a one-hand parry. Shepard shifted out of the way to avoid Kaidan's counter where a line of fire suddenly came to life under his feet. He felt the fire burn the rim of his trousers and rolled out of the range. He smothered them quickly and raised his head just in time to see Kaidan charge towards him.

If he had not been the man he was, Shepard might be intimidated. Coming towards him was a 200 pound man in full armor, burning with magical fire and wielding a charged sword. Any man without proper armor armed only with a sword would have run. But Shepard's grip hardened around the handle. The muscles on his chest tensed as he waited for Kaidan's arrival. He dived out of the way at the last minute and quickly came to stand behind the knight.

It was over. Kaidan could not be fast enough. Even if he turned around, Shepard would have won. He moved slower as in a real fight. With the confidence of victory, Shepard placed the broadside of his famous sword on Kaidan's plated neck and preformed a gesture resembling slitting his throat.

"Keep up, sweet prince." He smirked. He was almost disappointed that the fight had not lasted longer.

However, Kaidan did not admit defeat. His gauntlet grasped the sharp edge of Shepard's sword and suddenly pain rushed through his body. He found himself completely caught in lighting that seemed to burn the flesh from his bones. The anguish was blinding, making him yell out in agony. He felt something colder than ice press into his ribs as his feet left the ground. He felt the world turn around him when he landed on the stone floor, hard.

Shepard felt as if his ribs were broken. His flesh felt hot and cold at the same time. He allowed himself the time to wince in pain. Pain was good. Pain made his body stronger and his movements faster. Pain was the trigger he needed to... live.

The fight exhilarated him. It made his heart throb and his blood boil. It filled him with lust and ecstasy. It was like sex, only better. Every fight was unique. It could not be repeated once it was done. It could not be described afterward and could not be forgotten no matter the time. A fight was the way for two men to truly know each other. With every slash Kaidan parried, Shepard gained more insight on him. With every blow he delivered, Shepard learned more of Kaidan's resolve. When Kaidan's magic touched him, Shepard could almost feel what it was to be Kaidan.

"Didn't you want Vancouver to encompass you?" Kaidan asked standing over Shepard. "Have you had enough?"

"Of you? Never!" With a swing with his strong leg, Shepard robbed Kaidan of his balance. The knight crashed into the ground with loud rattle. Blue fire reached out for Shepard like spectral hands. The warrior rolled back, out of reach. He stayed crouched down while watching Kaidan scramble to his feet with more force than he had expected of a man in this much armor.

They were closing in on the final point. After a duel this long, victory should be determinate shortly. The shouts around them grew louder with each moment. Shepard could hear Grunt yelling and James laughing. Garrus chuckled and offered words of encouragement while Liara frowned deeply. On the other side, the nobles were trying to keep their frenzy in check. The women started crying again, saying things that were not encouraging at all in Shepard's ears. If he won a duel and had to marry that old hag afterward, he would rather loose.

"Are you ready?" Shepard asked Kaidan, who panted and nodded. This time, he could not afford to play with the knight. He did not know the exact extent of Kaidan's magical reserve. The knight wore too much armor. It would not be easy to penetrate it.

"Let's finish this!" Kaidan said and pushed his hand forwards. Magical fire flew from his hands, heading straight for Shepard's chest. The warrior dived aside. He did not stop moving and Kaidan did not stop shooting. After what felt like a hundred fireballs flying his way, Kaidan's barrage finally stopped. The warrior used the second to dart towards the knight, a battle cry on his lips.

He would have Kaidan! He would win this fight and claim that man. He would be with Kaidan or die trying. The slashes he let rain down on the armored night were charged with the fire in his heart. He remembered the way he fucked Kaidan two nights ago and used the same enthusiasm to bring him down to his knees. He cut and stabbed. He parried and dodged. When Kaidan himself performed a long swing that could have beheaded a man, Shepard ducked down. He rolled forward, dragging his sword behind his body and cut sharply into the gap between two of Kaidan's plate.

The knight tumbled and held his leg. Blood was running down and quickly pooled on the floor. Kaidan's moan was drowned out by the startled gasps of nobles. Many things happened at once, Shepard only heard but did not see. His eyes were on Kaidan, who still did not give up. The knight conjured something into his hand and pushed it down on his wounded leg. He cried out and without pause, charged Shepard again.

The warrior was ready. He parried with more force than was needed. He countered with strength he only reserved for his enemies. With strong flat cuts, Shepard bashed into Kaidan's raised sword. It had come down to a simple challenge of strength. Finesse and skills were forgotten. Now was about which man was stronger than the other.

Shepard cried out as his blade met Kaidan, sending it flying. He needed to win this. He needed the victory. His blade scraped along Kaidan's arm, separating some of the scales, sending them flying. They fell off the knight like the scales falling from a dead dragon. The prince cried out in pain as Shepard's blade connected with his wounded leg with its broadside. Finally, it gave out, bringing the brilliant knight to his knees.

He did not stop at that. He could not. The fight was still on, the man still lived. His opponent knelt and looked up at him; eyes filled a sorrow that did not touch Shepard's heart. For a moment, the first specter looked into Kaidan's face and did not recognize it. For an instant, he only saw a man that needed to die at his hand. His prisoner closed his eyes in defeat and Shepard's sword came down.

"No!" The queen screamed, a shrill cry of a mother that could have stopped the world from ending. Shepard stopped mid-movement. Coming to his senses, he realized that he was in the perfect position to decapitate Kaidan. He even wanted to. Had her anguish not halted him, Shepard would have killed the man that gave him reason to breathe.

Arcturus slithered from his grasp, landing next to him like a cheap piece of metal. He breathed out, feeling as if he had exhausted himself with delicious sex. He felt almost just like the moment two nights ago when he rolled down from Kaidan's gorgeous body. Only now there was no bliss in Kaidan's features, only pain and shame.

"Shepard won..." Ashley Williams gasped, her voice full of disbelief. Shepard saw her hand go to her sword as she raised her eyes towards the king regent.

"You... you..." No doubt the king was searching for insults that suited the situation.

"Won," Shepard finished for him. He looked down at Kaidan, who still knelt before him. " _Prince regent_ , are we done?"

The first words from Kaidan's lips were barely a whisper. The knight winced at something and then opened his eyes. If Shepard was not wrong, he saw hate burning in them.

"Yes," the young knight eventually said. "I accept my defeat..."

"And?"

"And vow to be your obedient..." he feebly snorted with disgust. "husband, with body and soul."

"Excellent!" Liara exclaimed. "As the priestess of the Specters, I can perform the ritual of bonding."

"Bring him to my tent," Shepard commanded as he picked up his sword. The hall was silent. No one interrupted him, no one dared. "He's wounded. Wash him and ready him. I still have business to discuss with Lord Alenko."

James and Grunt immediately moved in, both men putting one arm under Kaidan's. The prince regent shook them off and rose under teeth-clinching pain. He refused to be touched by Shepard's brothers and the specter did not stop him. Without looking back, without saying goodbye, Kaidan limped out of the throne-room, leaving bloody footprints on the floor.

As Shepard watched him go, he just could not stop grinning at the thought that after this moment, he would never have to watch Kaidan leave again.


	6. In vino veritas

Uroboros

06\. In vino veritas

Every minute that passed added to his gloom. Every step he took strained his wounded leg. Kaidan hated his very existence right now for everything that could go wrong, went wrong.

His heart was still throbbing from the fatigue in the throne-room. The fresh air outside his father's castle did little to ease his discomfort. With head spinning and teeth pressed tightly together, almost crunching, Kaidan climbed onto his mount's back. He was to be delivered to the enemy's camp like an object, a trophy the great Specter just won. Though Kaidan dreaded every bit of this idea, the little honor that was left in him forbade him to flee.

He was defeated. Beaten and humiliated in front of the entire court of his father. The most respected and noble of Vancouver had witnessed his downfall. It was that one moment of righteous bravery that had ruined everything Kaidan had planned. That one rash decision born out of the moment had destroyed everything his family had built.

It was that one sacred vow to be Shepard's mate.

Kaidan spat the last word in his mind. Not for one minute had he believed what Shepard claimed. There was no freedom waiting for him in the distance, only an eternity of servitude and shame.

"Ride fast, handsome prince," the witch of twilight said next to him. She sat straight in the saddle of her horse, her black gown flowing down the flanks of her equally black mare. "Your wound needs tending. It's best if we don't linger."

Kaidan wanted to reply with something harsh, but the words stopped at the tip of his tongue. He had lost enough dignity today, he didn't need to bicker with the lackey of this warlord. Suppressing a whimper, Kaidan nudged the flank of his own horse.

They rode fast and in silence. It was long past the zenith when Kaidan finally saw the black horizon transform into the camp of his worst enemy. Dark leather yurts littered the landscape with men patrolling the perimeter. Some of them had banners in front of their entrances, carrying crests Kaidan did not recognize instantly. He believed that some of them displayed the old clan symbols of the tribes Shepard had united, but he could not be sure.

When their horses passed the outer most row of what could barely be called housing, men and women stopped to watch. The let down their doings and bluntly stared at the knight in full armor that followed their witch. Kaidan tried to appear dignified, not showing fear or concern. He refused to be seen as a prisoner of any kind. He was to enter this camp as the chosen mate of their leader. He might not be in Vancouver anymore, but he was still the prince regent. Even if he didn't believe the lies Shepard told the court, he could at least let his future people live in that illusion.

They seem to know very well who he was. Some pointed at him with their fingers, other whispered to each other. None of them bowed. Most of them only acknowledged their arrival and pretend they were not interested. It soon became obvious that no fear for the royalty existed in this place. From warriors to servants, all greeted the witch with the same enthusiasm. Some of the men Kaidan rode by even called out to the priestess, encouraging her to drop by for another visit.

Liara only laughed kindly and threatened to kill him should he ask her again. The warrior shouted back that he looked forward to a fight. The total lack of hierarchy worried Kaidan. He wondered how day-to-day life transpired in such a place. How did Shepard keep a camp full of aggressive warriors of every age and gender under his control? Was this the freedom he spoke of?

"Does this surprise you, prince?" Liara asked as they entered the main road inside the camp.

"It's not what I expect," Kaidan simply answered. Liara must have noticed his curious glances.

"Did you really think we live like animals? Sleeping in the mud, under the sky?"

"It's not that..." Kaidan gasped. "I just didn't expect such a... warm welcome."

"We are not savages, Prince Kaidan." Liara explained. "Many of us are from civilized cities, just like you. It is the war that drove us away from our homes."

"That's not what I heard."

"Would you rather believe the rumors than learning it from the source?" Liara gave him a meaningful smile. Without waiting, she continued. "Before the Alliance fell..."

"The Alliance isn't fallen." Kaidan corrected.

She did not react to his interruption. "There was no united clans of free men. Every tribe fought for itself, trying to survive in the shadows of the ever-growing Alliance. When King Steven died, many clans rebelled against their Alliance masters. War was the result of such desperate actions. Many people lost their lives, even more their homes. "

"So it is our fault?" Kaidan hissed. He could not bite back the sharpness in his tones. The pain in his leg was bothering him.

"It is the flow of the world." Liara spoke in a quiet tone. She turned towards him, her masked face as mysterious as ever. Only her eyes sparkled behind the black. "One power falls, another rises. The vacuum left behind by King Steven could not be filled. As hard as your father had tried in the last century, his hold on the Alliance is weak. Shepard merely used this to his advantage and united all clans under one single banner."

"To do what?"

"To survive, of course. And perhaps, to live."

"You said you weren't savages. What are you then?"

"We are children of this world, just like you." Liara spread her one free arm towards the enormous camp around them. "Many you see here once fought against the Alliance, others fought for it. Yet their fates led all of them to us. We are more intertwined than you think, Prince Kaidan."

"Deserters and oath-breakers!" Kaidan spat. He thought of the Garrus Vakarian who had betrayed his home and wondered about the origin of that warrior called James. He looked like a man coming from one of the Alliance Cities to the south. He even spoke like one.

"I have no quarrel with you, young prince," She smiled. "Yet I advise you to see us without the prejudice of your people. What you have learned in the sheltered luxury of your castle will not help you here."

She gave him no time to answer but stopped in a small field. Kaidan realized that they had arrived at the center. It was a circle outlined by five black yurts, each with a banner in front of the entrance. The largest carried a crest resembling black wings. The others talons or masks. He guessed them to be the housing of the Specters. It had not escaped his notice that among all these people, only the five Specters wore armor of black material.

"You may go in," She instructed and gestured at the closed flap. "Shepard's home will be your home from today on. Go ahead, I will be back to treat your leg."

Kaidan descended from his horse with effort. The pain in his leg was getting worse by the hour. Though Shepard did not cut deeply, it was enough to take the strength out of his limb. The dried blood tugged on his skin and trousers as he walked. With every limp, Kaidan felt his wound burn.

When he pushed the flap of Shepard's yurt open, the chill inside surprised him. He thought a black tent sitting in the sun would be hot inside, but not here. It was like entering the shadow of a large tree on a slope after a long day's walk. Kaidan let himself fall into the fur coated bed with a loud sigh. He leaned back until he was lying completely spread out between the furs. They smelled of animal and a very masculine man. Kaidan wrinkled his nose. He had no taste for this kind of detail right now.

But he stayed there, simply resting in the dark. He almost fell asleep before Liara returned. She coughed politely at the entrance and Kaidan heaved himself up with a loud grunt. For the first time since they met, Kaidan saw what was hidden behind the mask. A moment long, he could not but say that this woman was beautiful. He recognized her blue lips and slightly tinted skin. Her eyes were of the shade of the deepest sapphire and a glint in them gave them life. She had removed the black-scale shoulder armor she wore and moved only in her black gown that flowed like water.

"You should remove your armor," She sat down on the floor before him. Kaidan watched her stir the contents of a wooden bowl while adding her own magic to it.

"What is it?"

"A healing potion. It will stop your pain and close your wound."

"What magic is it? Where did you learn that?"

She gave him a look that Kaidan did not understand. "You wouldn't know it. Just trust me."

"Why should I?"

"Foolish prince," she smiled. "We did not just risk war for you to poison you afterwards. Believe it or not, Shepard cares for you. I would not want to hurt him by killing you."

"And what do _you_ think of this matter?"

"He cares for you," Liara sighed. "That's all I need."

"You don't sound too happy about it." Kaidan noted, trying to act casual. Loosening the straps on his leg armor was a lot harder in his current condition, but Kaidan succeeded in the end. He tossed his shin-plate in a corner of the room and sighed.

"It was not wise what he did." Liara's fingers closed around Kaidan's leg. With more strength than Kaidan thought, she tore his trousers open. "But he would have done it even if I disagreed. That's Shepard. He follows his heart, more truly than any of us. It burns hotter than the sun and changes like the wind. It takes him to strange places and shows him visions only he can see. It is the compass that guides our people."

There was bitterness in Liara's voice. Looking down at her, the witch of twilight seemed like any other woman. Yet, she was so different. She was darker and fiercer. She concealed her broken heart better than any Kaidan had witnessed.

"You and him," he hesitated. "You were close?"

Liara gave him yet another meaningful look. Then she slapped the bluish glowing paste onto his leg. Kaidan screamed out, feeling as if his skin was bathed with liquid fire. It burned into him, killing all infections that festered in his flesh.

"Yes, we were." Liara answered and started to apply it to his wound evenly. "But that is none of your concern."

"What happened?" Kaidan pressed through clenched teeth. He needed something else to think about, other than the pain in his leg. "Why aren't you anymore?"

"I had his passion, but not his love." Her voice was darker now, her moves rougher. "It was a seasonal union. From spring to winter. That's all... It'll be over soon."

"What?" He gasped. "Are you still?"

"I meant your pain." Liara closed her eyes and recited a spell Kaidan knew by heart. Her magic was not so different after all. Blue magic gathered in her hand and with the last word escaping her lips, Liara pressed her palm against Kaidan's flesh.

Ice rushed through his veins, extinguishing the fire that burned before it. Kaidan's fingers clawed into the fur as he screamed. For an instant, his mind blacked out. All he knew was the anguish in his body. Though he knew of the effect of this spell, it did little to ease his pain. He bit his teeth harder together and only let go when the icy fire stopped. His jaw hurt afterwards, but it was worth it. His leg no longer felt swollen, and his wound was not pounding any more. He could move it without much discomfort and for that, Kaidan was grateful.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead with a piece of cloth he was able to reach. He did not care what it was. With grunts and moans, Kaidan sat up. Liara had retreated while he screamed. She now stood on the other side of the large yurt, murmuring words Kaidan did not understand. Kaidan watched with fascination as her hands painted runes of white magic in the air. It glowed as the incantation continued, finally bursting in a flash of light.

Where nothing was before now stood a large bathtub. Liara painted another rune in the air just above the tub. She tapped it with her fingers and the rune burst into tiny splinters. At the same time, Kaidan heard the sound of water gathering in the tub. Soon, steam rose from it.

He gasped. In his 27 of years, Kaidan had never seen someone conjure up a bathtub full of hot water. What seemed a waste of magical power quickly became a source of envy. Suddenly, Kaidan could recall thousands of situations where he wished he had such ability.

"A little gesture of our hospitality," She said. As if to impress him further, she waved again with her hand. A small table filled with food and wine appeared, standing in reach of the bathtub. "Enjoy yourself." She did not wait for Kaidan's praise. With a nod, she left him.

The Prince quickly stripped himself of his armor and clothing, leaving them lying on the floor. Wistfully, Kaidan looked down at the golden locket on his chest. His fingers closed around the golden chain with the same gentleness of a father touching his daughter's hair. He lifted the trinket up to his lips and pressed a kiss into its surface. He felt a sudden heartache rising, but suppressed the tears before they arrived.

"I will find you, I swear." he whispered his promise before putting the locket gently down on the table. He grabbed the skin of wine and uncorked it. The red liquid ran down his throat like the sweetest nectar. He drank some more and stepped into the tub with it. The water was just the right temperature. With a loud sigh, Kaidan sank down.

With just enough wine and more of these conjured comforts, he might yet survive.

-xXx-

Shepard was in the best of moods when he climbed down from his horse. The moon shone bright this night, adding to the lightness in his chest.

His brothers had returned with him. Shepard said a hasty good night to them and handed the reins of his horse to the stable boy. He padded the boy on the shoulder and shooed him away. He winked at the teenager, saying that he did not want to be disturbed and faced the entrance of his home.

He straightened his armor and coughed. When he pushed the flap of his tent to the side, Shepard's hand was shaking. He had not been this full of anticipation for a long time. He still could not believe that Kaidan was really waiting for him in his bed.

There he was. Lying on his furs, Kaidan's eyes were closed. He was breathing evenly and sound asleep. A small smile stretched from the corner of Shepard's mouth. For a breath, Shepard remained standing, taking in the perfect picture in front of him. Making as little noise as possible, Shepard ignited the little lamps in his tent, spreading the light and driving off the shadows.

In the dim firelight, Kaidan's naked body looked even more beautiful. The contours of his muscles were highlighted, showing off just how strong he was. Shepard's mouth went dry as his cock twitched at the sight. In the one night they had spent, he did not have the time to appreciate just how perfect the curve of Kaidan's ass was. Right now, it was all Shepard could see for Kaidan was lying on his stomach.

He swallowed.

It was _his_ husband in _his_ bed waiting for _him_. Kaidan was his.

With a stupid smile none could see, Shepard made his way to the bed. His toes met Kaidan's discarded armor and for this moment, the great Specter almost squeaked at the cuteness of his mate. Kaidan was already treating this place like his own. Shepard picked up the robe Kaidan worn underneath his armor and pressed it close to his nose. In his romantic heart, Shepard had wanted to smell something unparalleled. However, it stank of cold sweat and dried blood. Shaking his head at his own stupidity, Shepard threw it over his shoulder.

Shepard sniffed at his own armpits. Well, he was not much better but was not that bad. Moreover, his clothes could use a wash soon. He continued his way towards Kaidan until he stood above the man. Watching his future husband, Shepard undressed himself until he was as naked as the man sleeping before him. Then, he climbed into bed with Kaidan.

The other man was warm and solid. He smelled like Liara's conjured soap and sweet wine. Shepard pressed a little kiss on his shoulder and cherished this little gesture. It was one he had shared with no one before. His hands wandered down Kaidan's body, taking in its texture. His eyes followed the scares his fingers had found and wanted to lick them. Simply these small caresses were making him hard and Kaidan was not even awake. Biting down on his lip, Shepard grinned at the possibility of future moments. He would have a lifetime to share with this man and the thought of it made him moan.

Kaidan jerked awake next to him. "What?" The man gasped. He turned around to see who Shepard was and pressed his glorious ass against Shepard's fully aroused cock. "The hell?" He gasped even louder before shifting away quickly. His eyes set on Shepard's and surprise quickly changed to something Shepard did not want to believe was there. When Kaidan backed closer to the edge of his bed, the Specter's grin vanished.

"It's just me," Shepard whispered, not wanting to startle him more. He reached out for Kaidan, but his hand was slapped away firmly.

"Don't touch me!" Kaidan hissed. His breath reeked of wine. His clear, brown gaze was veiled by drunkenness. Even his movements were a lot slower and erratic. Shaking his head, Kaidan glowered at Shepard. "Where were you?"

"You're quite controlling, you know that?" Shepard smirked. "It's the second time you asked about my whereabouts. Should I get used to explaining myself?"

"You better!" Kaidan tried to rise, but failed. "And now, answer me."

"I was in the castle, taking care of... things." Shepard lay down, supporting his head on his hand. It did not bother him that he was naked and Kaidan could see every inch of his glory. It was not as if Kaidan did not enjoy it the last time.

"What things?" The prince regent demanded.

"Things about us. Your father wasn't as agreeable as you were."

"What did you do to my father?"

"Don't worry, sweetheart," Shepard joked and shifted closer until he was right in front of Kaidan. "He's been dealt with. You parents won't come between us anymore."

"Get away from me, you monster!"

"You really like to play hard to get." He liked a challenge and Kaidan was the greatest of his life yet.

"I'm not playing..." the drunken prince tried to shove him away, but his hand slipped at Shepard's shoulder. He sank back into bed, a moan escaping his breath.

It excited Shepard beyond words. His cock instantly regained its lost strength, pressing against Kaidan's thigh firmly. Shepard leaned closer, wanting to capture those trembling lips in a kiss. Kaidan was flushing, from wine or anger Shepard could not say. But he liked the smoulder, the heat in Kaidan's brown eyes and the frown in his brows. He liked everything about Kaidan, from his looks to his virtues.

"You're beautiful," he heard himself whisper. "The most beautiful I've ever seen."

"You think words like these can change my mind?" Kaidan breathed feebly. "I'm above your flattery."

"I'm not flattering you, I'm stating the truth." Shepard said. The way Kaidan was simply took his breath away. He leaned down for a kiss, not being able to resist any longer. He could almost taste Kaidan's lips when the man pushed him away forcefully.

"Are you mad?" Kaidan groaned. With another snort, Kaidan pressed himself off the fur into a sitting position. When he stood and left Shepard's bed, the Specter was too wordless to stop him. All of his focus was captured by the way Kaidan's ass moved. It was mesmerizing watching the muscle on Kaidan's body stretch and bend as he strolled. He watched with his mouth open how Kaidan grabbed a cup from the table and filled it with wine. The prince drank it down and refilled the cup again. He drank some more and then sighed loudly.

"Why are you here?" Kaidan asked. His voice dark and husky. "What do you want from me? What did you do to my father?" He poured the wine down his throat again, and all the time he refused to look at Shepard.

The Specter left his comfortable place and came up behind the gloomy knight. He wrapped his arms around Kaidan's midsection and pressed himself against Kaidan's back. Seeing Kaidan in such a devastated mood, Shepard's arousal softened.

"What's bothering you?"

"What's bothering me..." Kaidan shook his head. "What could possibly be bothering me? Are you blind?" With a shrug of his shoulder, the noble slipped out of Shepard's loose grasp.

"Apparently, I am." Shepard followed Kaidan with his eyes. "Talk to me, Kaidan."

"I have nothing to say." Kaidan's heavy lids sank over his tired eyes. He looked down at the wine in his hand, as if thinking about what it would taste like. He then shrugged and poured it down his throat again.

"I think you have had enough."

"No," Kaidan swallowed and looked at random spot in the room. He blinked and tried to focus.

"What's wrong with you?" Shepard could not really fathom what was going on before him. Was this not supposed to be a happy reunion where he finally told Kaidan how he feels? Was this not a moment for two men to agree on sharing their lives together? "I don't understand. Kaidan, I know you want to be with me, but could not because of what you are. But it's who you are that I like. And I managed for us to be together, officially. Aren't you happy? What's wrong?"

"I'm a prisoner and I'm drunk!" Kaidan spat, opening his arms. "I'm a degraded prince and a defeated knight! I have ruined everything! For everyone!"

"What are you talking about?" Shepard snapped. "You're not my prisoner! You're my guest!"

"Am I allowed to leave as I wish?" Kaidan laughed. "No? Then what am I but a prisoner?"

He winced at Kaidan's words. A doubt started in the bottom of his guts and if Shepard allowed it, it might become fear. "Do you want to leave?"

"Not only brutal, but stupid as well..." Kaidan wandered in the room, keeping the cup of wine as his best company. "Why would I stay?"

"Because you promised to be my husband! Just hours ago!" Shepard reminded him, suddenly full of anger. "Or have you forgotten that?"

"I wish I could." Kaidan gasped. "I really wish I could. But I can't. Damn, every time I close my eyes, I see you standing over me. I thought you'd kill me. I wish you've killed me."

"Kaidan..."

"What? Am I not speaking sense? Am I that drunk yet?" He raised his cup towards Shepard and laughed. "To a wicked night, then!"

"That's enough!" He closed the gap between him and Kaidan in short strides. Kaidan did not resist as he slapped the cup of wine from his grasp. The prince only laughed at him, a hollow laugh with no humor in it. "This is not you, Kaidan! Stop!"

"You know nothing of me!" the man hissed. "You are a barbarian who wants to play with things you cannot understand! You think you have saved me, but I did not need your saving! I was a prince, I had everything a man could dream about and you snatched them all away from me. Now I have nothing left but the wine. And I'm not yours to toy with!"

"I'm not toying with you, Kaidan! I want you! I love you!"

"Love!" The prince spat. "How poetic! You just met me!"

"That's not true, Kaidan," Shepard swallowed. He felt hot tears burning in his eyes, but did not really know why. He just knew he did not want to see Kaidan like this. "I met you before, a long time ago. You probably don't even remember, but ever since then, I loved you. All these years, I've loved you. And now you're here, with me. That's what I always wanted."

"What are you talking about?"

"I was just a squire back then, a lowlife, a nothing!" Shepard explained. He caught Kaidan in his arms and refused to let go. "And you were the Lord Alenko, the knight of virtue. It was during the war, when the Palavan forces nearly breached the city. I was too young to fight at the gate, but nonetheless I wanted to. You rode up to me and killed the man who was about to kill me. You told me to get the hell out of there and get back to safety. That's all, but that's enough. You were in my life. And then, you just rode by, out of my life."

"I, what?"

"You were my shining beacon, Kaidan." He frowned, trying to stop the tears. He did not want Kaidan to see them, so he closed the man in his arms, resting his chin on Kaidan's strong shoulder. "You've never noticed me, but I didn't care. I looked at you every time you rode by and I loved you from afar. I respected you, admired you and secretly wanted to be like you and be with you. Kaidan, you were everything I wanted to be."

Kaidan laughed. This time, a real laugh. It grew until the knight could not stop. He then pushed Shepard away from himself and gasped. "Do you think this is hilarious? You wanting to be me? Shepard, do you know what you're saying?"

"What's so funny?" Anger mixed in his voice. He just told Kaidan his darkest secret and the man laughed in his face.

"Oh the irony!" Kaidan laughed and winced. "It's like a slap in my face! Why am I so much braver after I've lost everything? How come only now do I dare to admit what I've always wanted to be?" Kaidan showed no shame mustering him from top to bottom. "Back then, when I was young, in a time when I still had dreams, you are what I wanted to be! A fearless warrior, free, chasing nothing but love. I don't want this armor, this responsibility. I don't want the crown, I want to be free!"

"You are free!"

"Yet I'm here, Shepard. Bound to a stupid oath that I cannot break!" Kaidan hissed, his features contorted by his contempt. "Is this what you want? A man chained by virtues and ideas. One small mistake, one moment of pride and this is what I get. To spend the rest of my life as a trophy pet, kept in the bed of the great Specter because I'm too afraid to lose the last bit of honor that's still mine. I've lost everything else already. You've taken everything else when you defeated me." Kaidan managed a tired smile that derided his life. He spread his arms and let himself fall into Shepard's bed. "I will not resist if that's what you want."

Shepard was speechless. Kaidan's words felt like a bucket of cold water. He watched the drunken man before him, completely unclothed and as gorgeous as before. But his lust did not return. This man was not the knight he had loved all his life. This man was a coward, wallowing in self-pity. This was not Kaidan.

"What are you waiting for?" Kaidan encouraged him, clearly drunk and not knowing what he offered.

"I thought you felt something for me..." he heard himself whisper. "I thought it was real."

"John," Kaidan murmured, eyes closed and face turned aside. "I felt something for John. The familiar stranger in Chora's Den. The wicked merc that bewitched my senses. I felt something for him. But that's just a lie, wasn't it?"

"I'm still John," Shepard breathed, knowing that he had not been a complete fool. It gave him strength and strangely... lust. He sank to his knees and crawled between Kaidan's legs just as he had done a few nights before. As he placed a small kiss on Kaidan's thigh, he grinned. "I haven't changed. It's still me."

"You are Shepard, the great Specter, leader of the Fire Claws, chief of the united clans." Kaidan murmured. "You are my enemy and my future husband. The death of all my dreams and hopes. You're not a merc, not a simple man that I can love."

"You would love me if I'm just John?"

"I might," Kaidan's voice was very small now. "But you're not just John."

"I can be," Shepard promised.

"How?"

"Close your eyes, Kaidan." Shepard breathed softly.

"Can you, please?" Kaidan moaned feebly as he did so, sounding as if he was begging. "Just for the night?"

Shepard believed he saw a tear roll down Kaidan's temple. The prince kept his eyes closed when Shepard placed himself above him. Their lips met in gentle caress and Shepard swore that Kaidan cried. The knight's arms came up around his neck, pushing him closer. It was tender and desperate, as if Kaidan was clinging to something that would vanish in the harsh daylight.

Shepard kissed Kaidan as he had done in the tavern. He closed his eyes and simply accepted Kaidan as he was. Though the Prince of Virtue he had longed for vanished before his eyes, Shepard was allowed to see the man that hid behind the enigma. And he liked it even more. The Kaidan under him was as he said, only a simple man. A man to love and to keep.

He shifted himself more fully between Kaidan's spread thighs. He kissed Kaidan's shoulder and chest. He heard Kaidan moan and loved it above all things. His hands wandered, continuing what they had begun an hour ago. He kissed Kaidan's scar on his chin and licked over his jaw. The knight gasped, his manhood slowly reacting to Shepard's caress.

"Give me your hand," Shepard whispered. He covered Kaidan's fingers with his and led them towards his own throbbing cock. He needed just a little bit of teasing before he could take Kaidan. Just a little to prolong the first night of the rest of his life.

He moaned when Kaidan's fingers closed around his cock. The lust flashed through him like a tide, making him groan out in pleasure. He stroked himself with Kaidan's hand and concentrated only on that. Those strong fingers were full of calluses, the mark of every soldier. Those fingers touched him tenderly, almost shy and unsure.

"John," Kaidan whispered and trailed off.

"You're..." Seeing Kaidan just lying there, doing... nothing, Shepard faltered. "Kaidan?" The knight did not answer. "Kaidan, are you alright?" The knight murmured in his sleep. "No!" Shepard gasped, not believing that someone had the audacity to fall asleep while having sex with him. Was he so dull or plain? Was he not desirable at all?

The anger that caught him had its origin in pride. It was wounded and demanded satisfaction. Groaning with rage, Shepard's fingers closed firmly around Kaidan's hand. He used it to stroke himself, wanting to dominate the man the best he could at this moment. The lust that boiled inside him was not the pure kind. It had nothing to do with love or longing. It was feral, primal and cruel.

With a loud grunt, Shepard came into Kaidan's hand. He watched his own load coat those slack fingers and drip onto Kaidan's soft cock. He cursed loudly and released his hold. He did not bother cleaning Kaidan up or himself. He pushed off the soundly sleeping man and grabbed the wine on his table. He needed more wine and some fresh air.


	7. the death of dreams

Uroboros

07\. The Death of dreams

The sound of clashing swords startled Kaidan out of his sleep. His hand instinctively reached for the sword that should be resting next to his bed but found nothing. His heart pounded against his chest as his head started spinning.

Kaidan sunk back into a bed that smelled of a stranger. He waited until the shock of such a sudden awakening passed. It took him a while to remember where he was or how he had come to be here. With a sigh, Kaidan pushed himself out of Shepard's bed. He had hoped that it was only a nightmare.

His hand felt funny, so did his stomach. He had consumed too much of Liara's conjured wine that never ran dry. He remembered bathing and dragging himself into Shepard's bed where he had passed out. Until...

The memory of Shepard's return was vague. He recalled speaking more truth than he had done in the last decade. Harsh words were exchanged and then more happened. At that thought, Kaidan looked down at his own hand. He tried to find traces of what really happened, but could not find any mark on his body. Nothing hurt, not in the bad way nor the good way. Not like the first time he had lain with Shepard.

Thinking of his future husband, Kaidan looked around. In the light of day, the yurt looked like a battlefield. His armor and clothing were everywhere. He found the cup in the corner and recalled Shepard slapping it out of his hand. The bathtub was gone, but the table with food and wine was still there. Kaidan almost reached for the wine, but stopped himself, deciding that water would be enough for today.

His eyes fell on the locket still lying on the table a moment later. Instead being closed and on the table where Kaidan had left it, his most treasured object was open and discarded casually. Sudden anger rose in Kaidan. An image of Shepard looking at the secret Kaidan kept and then tossing it away like a broken toy filled the knight's mind. He snorted, reminding himself to start yet another fight with the great Specter when he returned.

Looking down, Kaidan found some comfort in the blue eyes of this boy. After 12 years around his neck, resting close to his heart, Kaidan loved this boy more than he loved himself. He had looked at the face of Lady Hannah's son almost every day and imagined the moment of their reunion. By now, Kaidan had to remind himself that this boy whose name he still did not know would be a man now.

If he stilled lived, he would be in his early twenties. He would be tall, like his father, King Steven was tall. His young face would have grown and hardened into a mixture of his parent's features. He would carry the allure of nobility with him, having nothing in the world powerful enough to shadow King Steven's blood. But most of all, Kaidan thought of his eyes. Those sky blue eyes that would one day look down at him from the throne as Kaidan again swore his loyalty to the rightful ruler of the Alliance of sovereign Kingdoms.

Firmly closing his fingers around the locket, Kaidan pulled the chain over his head. He felt the infinite comfort as the boy's image rested against his skin. He sighed out and downed the cold water. He took an apple into his hand and started his breakfast.

For the first time in many years, Kaidan did not know what to do. As long as he was able to remember, he always had duties. Be it serving or commanding, Kaidan always started his day with purpose. Now, he sat in a fur covered chair and wondered what this day would bring.

He had no particular desire to step outside and face those who had seen his defeat. He did not want to call for a servant and ask for clothing like a beggar. His own clothes stank of sweat and blood and it would take a lot to force him into them again. Maybe he could start cleaning his armor. However, even that act demanded more motivation than he had right now.

Shepard's yurt offered little distraction. It might be called luxurious for a man who changed the position of his home daily, but for Kaidan it was little more than a makeshift tent. There was a bed, an armor stand with no armor on it, the small table he was sitting at and the large fire-bowl in the middle. Following his gaze, Kaidan stared at the blue crystal hanging from the hole in the roof. It glowed and broke the sunlight entering the room. It was something magical, but Kaidan could not conjure enough enthusiasm to study it.

Then, his eyes landed on something he had not noticed before. Facing the main entrance, there was another closed flap. It was inconspicuous, being of the same color as the rest of the wall. A spark of curiosity moved Kaidan's limbs. He pushed the heavy fabric to the side and actually blinked at the fully furnished war room behind it.

He shook his head. What warlord hides the center of power behind his place of rest? It said a lot about how often this was being used.

The war-table in the middle was comparatively small but solid. A few large maps covered its surface and Kaidan smirked. Maybe his presence here was of some use after all. Studying it, Kaidan recognized a map of their world. A second one showed a more complete illustration of the entire Alliance controlled lands and their outskirts. The third was a detailed map of the city of Vancouver. Kaidan's heart stopped for a moment. No outsider should have such a treasure. A map as this should not be anywhere beside on the king's table and in the best kept part of their library. It certainly should not be in the yurt of a savage warlord.

Theories rushed through Kaidan's mind. Was Shepard planning to attack? Did he have spies in the city? Probably. He himself sneaked beyond their walls, disguised as a mercenary. How easy would it be to bribe someone within and pay for their stories?

With a racing heart, Kaidan looked around. He needed to find proof of Shepard's betrayal. With some carefully placed words, it might mean his freedom from this savage. He scrabbled through some documents on the table first, but found nothing useful in them. He needed a message of some kind, black inked words on parchment. He needed something he could present to the court.

Turning almost feverish, Kaidan's eyes searched almost every corner of the room. Eventually, after looking into almost every unlocked casket he saw, Kaidan started with the locked ones. He shook them and kicked at them, hearing coins jangle behind the wood. He had no interest in Shepard's gold. Eventually, after wasting too much time on useless things, Kaidan's attention was drawn to a smaller casket sitting in the corner. It was plain, but the lock on it was more than a giveaway.

Hanging all his hopes on this one, Kaidan rushed out of the war-room. Since his own trousers were torn, Kaidan grabbed a pair of Shepard's. He picked up his sword from the floor and headed back in. He did not hesitate stabbing his blade into the fine mechanism of the lock. Within a few well-placed strikes, he heard the metal break.

Kneeling down, Kaidan opened it, determinate to see what Shepard was hiding. It confused him to find neither documents nor gold. In the crate was only what seemed like old clothing and a set of rusting armor. The gauntlets and the leg plates were almost completely unrecognizable. Only the chest piece resembled what it might have been once. Kaidan dug deeper. He needed to understand what was in here as his eyes landed upon part of a golden chain, wrapped in a piece of dark blue cloth.

With trembling fingers, Kaidan reached for it. When he carefully unwrapped it, he could not believe what he saw. It was a symbol he knew by heart and had not seen for a long time. It was something that caused too many feelings in him at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" Shepard's voice almost made him jump.

The knight jerked around to see the great Specter standing in the door, his bare chest shimmering with sweat and a sword in his hand. The witch of twilight followed up behind him, eying Kaidan with suspicion. The knight heard other people enter the yurt in the front and thought he recognized Vakarian's voice. Liara quickly turned around and gestured them to stay put.

"Step away from my chest!" Shepard commanded. He raised King Steven's sword and pointed it at Kaidan. "Now!"

Kaidan did as commanded, knowing that refusing was unwise. "Explain this!" Kaidan gestured at the trinket in his hand.

"It's a necklace." Shepard said and gave Liara a sign without taking his eyes off Kaidan.

"It bares the royal sigil! King Steven's sigil." Kaidan urged. "How is this in your possession?"

"I'm done explaining myself to you." Shepard only said, his sword still pointing at Kaidan. "Put it back."

"Not until I have answers!" The knight retorted, closing his hand around the pendant.

Shepard took a few steps into the room, allowing his companions to join him through the narrow door. The tip of his sword was just an arm-length away from Kaidan now and he did not make any attempt to remove it from there. But the knight did not feel threatened. He did not fear violence. He did not fear Shepard.

"I said, put it back!" Shepard barked. "It's private!"

"Let me deal with him, Shepard!" Garrus Vakarian took the spear from his back. "We don't take kindly to thieves. Or liars."

"Hey Chief, he's wearing your pants." The bulky warrior called Grunt said. "He's not a Specter. He can't wear black."

"What are you doing here, man?" The other warrior asked.

"You don't belong here," Liara added. "Return Shepard's artifacts and maybe he'll show mercy."

Kaidan lifted his own sword as an answer.

"The last man that touched my stuff, I let Liara flay him, alive." Shepard threatened. "This is your last warning."

"Tell me how this came to you!" Kaidan demanded. "What did you do to the boy carrying this?"

Shepard's eyes narrowed. "You know what it is?"

"It's a royal gift from King Steven to Lady Hannah. He gave this to her as a token of his gratitude when she was released of her duty!" Kaidan remembered. "She gave it to her son before sending him away! What did you do to that boy! Where is he now?"

"He's still wearing your pants, Chief."

"Get out." Shepard breathed, his gaze fixed on Kaidan.

"Shepard..." Garrus took a step closer.

"I'll deal with it."

"If you're sure." Liara nodded reluctantly but did as she was asked. She nudged her chin at the two warriors flanking Shepard and they too obeyed. However, Garrus Vakarian was not so easily convinced. He put his hand on Shepard's shoulder and they exchanged a brief but knowing look. Shepard only nodded wordlessly at his brother who waited a moment before nodding back.

Kaidan watched Shepard's lackeys leave, all without changing his position. He was too angry to move, too excited for the truth that might just be one-step away. If Shepard would not tell him the whole story, Kaidan would retort to the harshest treatment he knew to make the man talk. Even if that killed him.

When Shepard's friends left, Kaidan could not wait anymore. "Tell me the truth!"

"Put away your sword and I might talk." As a gesture of faith, Shepard lowered his own blade and placed it on the table. He opened his palms, letting Kaidan see that he was not keeping any other weapons there. Only reluctantly, Kaidan did the same. He did not need his sword, he still had his magic.

When both men were unarmed, Shepard snapped. "You broke my chest! Don't you have any respect for my privacy?"

"We're to be wedded," Kaidan reminded him. "Why keep secrets from me?"

"You must be joking!" Shepard groaned. "Now you remember what we are supposed to be? After you insulted me last night and wounded me deeply? Now you accuse me of what? Murder?"

"Did you?" Kaidan almost snarled. "Murder him?"

"Who?"

"This boy!" He waved the pendant in front of Shepard's face. "The boy you took this from! Lady Hannah's son!"

"What if I said yes?"

Rage suddenly blinded him. Kaidan lunged forwards, his hands closing around Shepard's throat. Blue fire surrounded him without burning him. Kaidan did not remember ever being this angry. In this moment, he could have snapped Shepard's neck if he really wanted.

"Tell me what you did to him!" Kaidan roared. "Where is he?"

"What..." Shepard choked. "What do you care?"

"What did you do to him?"

"Let me go!" His hands grasped at Kaidan's wrist, trying to free himself. "I... I can't talk if you choke me to death!"

"Talk!" Kaidan released Shepard with a rough push. "What did you do to him?"

"It was so long ago," Shepard rubbed his neck and coughed. "I can't even remember clearly."

Kaidan pulled the golden locket loose from his neck. He opened it and waved it in front of Shepard's face. "This boy! Was it him carrying the pendant?"

"And who's that supposed to be?" Shepard lifted a brow. "Who's this boy and what do you know?"

"I have no patience for you games, Shepard!" Kaidan snapped. "Tell me, do you know this boy?"

"Why don't you calm down and we talk like adults!" Shepard suggested, lifting a curious brow. "Without your blue fire or waving things in my face."

"I..." composing himself, Kaidan nodded. He followed Shepard out of the war-room, taking both trinkets with him. When they were both back in the bedroom, Kaidan had gathered enough restraint to listen. "I need to know what happened to this boy. It's a very important matter!"

"Why?"

"He's Lady Hannah's son! I swore to her that I'd find him and protect him." Kaidan explained. "Please understand that I've spent the last twelve years looking for this boy. I can't rest until my vow is fulfilled."

"Why is he important?"

"If I'm not wrong, he's the bastard son of King Steven." Agitated, Kaidan walked up and down. His fingers were closed around the two items so firmly he felt their edge cut into his flesh. "This means he is the legitimate heir to the throne. It took me years to piece it together. Lady Hannah was King Steven's mistress. They had this boy but never told anyone of it. I believe that he had always known and thus always protected her. Before his death, he told my father of this secret. Besides us, there is only Councilor Udina who is aware. In the night when King Steven died, I was sent to retrieve him, but I was too late. There were assassins in the house and this boy escaped. Lady Hannah must have given this to him as a token to assure his claim was righteous. She must have known that King Steven would declare him his heir!"

"Bullshit!" Shepard laughed. "He was just a lowlife, a nothing."

"He is the last Hackett! The rightful King of Vancouver and the Alliance! He is noble from his birth, meant to lead my people!" Kaidan shouted back. "He is our king!"

"He was not!" Shepard barked back. "He was a weak little thing, running for his life. He was scared and starved! He was pathetic."

"What do you know of him?"

"He didn't stand a chance when the Fire Claws came for him!" Shepard yanked the locked from Kaidan's grasp. He spat at the picture in it and promptly tossed it into the fire.

"No!" Kaidan dived for it, reaching into the burning flames. He ignored the pain in his hands and the heat in his face. He heard Shepard shouting behind him, but could focus on nothing but the melting trinket between the coals. When he pulled it out of the fire, it was black at some spots. The boy in the small picture was barely recognizable. Kaidan rubbed at the scorch marks and pressed it back to his lips. He could not believe he almost lost it forever.

"Why do you care?" Shepard hissed behind him. "He was a worthless brat, a fool! He was a coward that ran when they came for his mother. He abandoned her and left her to die!"

"Shut up!" Kaidan breathed, trying to stop his tears.

"He was a worm! He had neither gold nor goal. He wandered around, crying like a girl. When the Fire Claws came and enslaved him, it was almost merciful. He had to die! He wouldn't have survived anyway."

"You killed him..." Kaidan whispered.

"I had to put him out of his misery." Shepard sounded almost remorseful. "The real world was too harsh for a twelve year old squire."

He wiped his tears away and turned to gape at the great Specter. In his blurred vision, Shepard seemed a lot more familiar than he should be. Without seeing him clearly, Kaidan only noticed his glowing blue eyes. He gasped. "It was you!"

"Kaidan... please. That boy is dead."

He looked down at the scorched painting and then back to the man before him. "It's you!" Shepard did not disagree. "You're alive! You're real!" Kaidan's heart clenched. In all his imagination, he could not have pictured the Last Hackett to be a warlord. "It was you all the time! And you knew!"

"I had my suspicions." Shepard nodded.

It was confirmation enough for Kaidan. He felt excitement rush over him. His limbs felt light, his head suddenly clear. In his moment of revelation, Kaidan put all pieces together.

"Yes..." he gasped under his breath. "You're old enough to be the boy. You mentioned being a squire last night. I've noticed that you know your way around Vancouver and your accent. It's barely there, so I didn't notice. And Arcturus... Of course! It was you that night!"

"What are you talking about?"

"The night when King Steven died!" Kaidan felt his body twitch with excitement. "You were the rider in the night! I could never forget it! You escaped on horseback, and that large sword was Arcturus! Everyone wondered what happened to King Steven's sword. He must have given it to your mother. He must have guessed that you would need it! Shepard, you cannot deny it! You're a Hackett, you must be!"

"My name is John Shepard," the warlord said. "And nothing more."

"You're my king," the knight felt a need to kneel down. He wanted to take Shepard's hand and kiss it. He wanted to swear his loyalty to a new king, one that could stabilize the political situation in the Alliance and lead them to glory again.

As he looked up at Shepard, seeing him standing there in his savage, black armor, he could not bring himself to believe that this man should sit on the throne one day. Shepard was only a man, not even an honorable one. He was cruel and hot-tempered. He was uncivilized and without manners. He was a monster, a beast taking advantage of those who could not defend themselves. Contempt rose inside him just like last night. He contorted his face, wanting nothing to do with this man.

At the same time, the feeling of being abandoned caught him. Even though he disliked Shepard, his claim to the throne could not be denied. Even though Kaidan hated him, he was still Hackett's son. "Why didn't you come back to us?" Kaidan asked eventually.

"Not so fast," Shepard laughed. "Back to you? What is there for me?"

"You are the last Hackett! The Vancouver throne is yours!"

"Now you're so eager to hand your city to me? Now that you suspect who I am."

"I know it!" Kaidan snapped back. "I've carried your image around my neck for the last twelve years! I've seen enough evidence to know who you are!"

"I could have killed the boy and taken all the tokens he carried," Shepard shrugged. He gestured at the two trinkets in Kaidan's hand and snorted. "The pendant is made of gold, why wouldn't I want it. And Arcturus is a damn fine sword."

"Do you take me for a fool?" The knight straightened his posture to face Shepard. "If this was stolen, you would have sold it. A pendant like this is worth a fortune."

"Maybe no one wants to buy it?"

"Liar!" Kaidan shook his head. "You kept it hidden in a locked chest. This has sentimental value to you."

"You know nothing of me, prince Kaidan!" Shepard shoved past the knight and sat down in the fur covered chair. He fumbled with the wine on the table but did not drink it.

"I've seen what's in that chest," The meaning of those apparent worthless things suddenly became clear for Kaidan. "You kept it hidden among the things you took from Vancouver, didn't you? You want to hide them from your friends, why?"

"We're done," Shepard snorted. "Put my things back."

"Shepard..."

"It's all in the past. It has no meaning now."

"Who's lying to himself now?" The previous heat in his voice left. For some reason, Kaidan could not really be furious with the warrior. In a strange way, Kaidan understood Shepard, or at least he thought he did. Kneeling down before his future husband, Kaidan gently put a hand on Shepard's face and moved it to face him. "Why are you so reluctant to accept your heritage? What really happened? Isn't a righteous man all you wanted to be? Didn't you say you wanted to be like me? John, why are you really here?"

"You ask too many questions, sweet prince." Shepard's gaze carried the same affection Kaidan saw in the tavern. For a moment, he could almost believe that there was only the man John.

"I need those answers. Please understand that it is my very own quest. It's what I've been doing for years. John, I swore to your mother that I'd find you and keep you safe. And believe me, I've tried. Wherever I went, I looked for you. Vancouver needs a king. We need you."

"I can't do it," Shepard shook his head, shifting his face out of Kaidan's palm. "I'm not what you think I am. I'm a savage, a warlord. My life is here, with the Specters and the Fire Claws. They are my people and they look to me for guidance. I can't leave them."

"We are your people, too."

"No, you're not." Shepard laughed. "You're doing just fine without me. You have your regent couple, your politicians and advisers. You have your walls and sickeningly tight etiquette. You'll do fine without me."

"But I need you!" Kaidan gasped. "Don't you get it? My father is not made to be king, but you; you've been leading people for years. You've united people that have been killing each other for centuries. You are a leader!"

"So do you hate me or admire me now?"

"Both!" Kaidan barked out a laugh. "I despise you because of prejudice. Because of your crime against me. It's personal! But I admire you as a king. Don't you understand, with your skills, you could reunite the Alliance. That's something my father couldn't even if he tried."

"What about you then?" Shepard gave him a small crooked grin. And there Kaidan saw the true and kind affection again.

"Don't you get it? I don't want to rule, I want to serve. When King Steven knighted me, I've sworn to serve him and his sons and so on. I swore to your mother that I would protect you, my future king. And that's what I want to do, Shepard. From the depth of my heart, I want to serve a good king, I want to serve you."

"My place is not in Vancouver."

"Your place is on the throne." Kaidan objected.

"What right do I have to rule over people I don't know?" Shepard huffed and pushed off Kaidan. He strode in the room, deep in his own thoughts. "I fought hard to be where I'm now. It took time to get to know this people. I united all those lost clans and put an end to the waging wars among the tribes. My brothers and sister and I, we suffered through hell to gain my people's respect and loyalty. They chose me as their leader because they trust me. I prefer it this way, knowing that I can trust any of them with my live. What can I expect in Vancouver? In that shit hole of false smiles and venomous words? I have no need for politics or schemes. I choose to live free and the hell will I give my life to bondage again."

"You can change that!" Kaidan retorted. "As our king, you can change that."

"Are you really that naïve? They'll kill me in my sleep within the fortnight."

"I'll protect you!" Kaidan shouted. "I'll pledge my life to you, do as you command. I'll be your loyal servant or anything you want me to be. Shepard, Vancouver needs a king."

At that, a grin returned to Shepard's lips. "But you already have, Kaidan. You vowed to be my husband, with body and soul, remember?"

Kaidan did not. Not in this moment. He winced at the memory of the past few days and the enthusiasm about the king's return suddenly ebbed. "Shepard, I can't." Kaidan whispered. "Not that I don't like you... or respect you. It's just..."

"Because it's shameful? To be wedded with a savage? What does it matter?" Shepard turned around sharply, catching Kaidan in his arms. "I'll say this again: I love you, Kaidan! Even after last night, I still love you."

"Please don't say it," Kaidan turned his face away.

"Why not? I'm sure of my heart." Shepard hand wandered up to cup Kaidan's face. "Kaidan, look at me. Forget Vancouver, forget politics! Come with me, you can be free. I can show you places you couldn't even dream of. We can ride in the twilight lands wherever we want and love wherever we want. We can fight whoever opposes us and claim what we want. Together, we can be unstoppable. We can be happy together!"

"And how long will it last?" Kaidan snapped at him. "A couple of years? Or just a couple of seasons?"

"What?"

"I know of you and your witch, Shepard." Kaidan pushed off him. "Your heart is like wind. You're a storm, Shepard. You come down on us with thunder and rain, encompassing us. But when it passed, the wounds you leave take years to heal."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shepard shook his head in bewilderment. "Do all mages talk in riddles?"

"It means you don't linger." Kaidan sighed. "I like you, Shepard. You're a handsome man and I desire you, that's true. But I can't give you my heart, knowing that you'll break it."

"I won't, I promise!" Shepard hastily exclaimed.

"How?" Kaidan shrugged. "Whatever is between us started with deception, it continued with humiliation. How should it end? How could it end?"

"What would you have me do, then? How can I prove it to you?" Shepard seemed genuinely eager and Kaidan could not but smile at it.

"Come with me to Vancouver." He demanded. "Take your place on the throne and help me sort it out."

"You want me to be your king?" Shepard shook his head. "Are you crazy?"

"This isn't just about me or you, or even us. This is much much bigger. It's about Vancouver and the whole Alliance. In time, even the world. There is good in you, Shepard." Kaidan truly believe that and his faith guided his actions. "You care for your people. You value friendship and loyalty and those are principles I can respect. Deep inside, I know you have a noble heart, it's in your blood."

"Bullshit! I am the great Specter, I don't bow to rules made by men."

"You're just saying that because you think strength is all your people respect. But that's not true."

"You don't know the need of my people!" Shepard snapped. "Strength is what protects them! I have a mission, Kaidan, I can't abandon these people. They are my responsibility."

"What can possibly be more important than the fate of the world? Your blood also carries a responsibility. Vancouver's people are also your people."

"No, they are yours! I don't care for them, nor they for me! However, my clans, they need me. They depend on me to find them a new home. To find a place where our families can stay and live while we ensure their safety. That's my mission."

Kaidan opened his mouth to disagree, but closed them again. Shepard was right; he did not know much about the Specter Fire Claws. He did not even know that they had families. Closing his eyes, Kaidan sighed.

"I can't come to Vancouver with you." Shepard said with finality.

"Why are you here in the first place, then?" Kaidan had difficulty hiding his disappointment. He had so many hopes for the last Hackett. Not in his worst nightmare could he have imagined this outcome.

"I wanted to see the city of my birth with my own eyes." Shepard said truthfully. "I saw it and it disgusts me. The corruption runs deep in the streets and the nobles aren't doing much to stop it. There is no true freedom in your home. You are the best example of it. You're so tied down by responsibilities you can't even afford to love as your heart desires. What life is that?"

"One of sacrifice." Kaidan answered. "That's what I swore. I laid down my life to serve and protect."

"Yes, and I know how much you enjoy that life."

"It doesn't matter. It's my decision." Kaidan swallowed, gathering his courage inside him for the last assault. "It's my life, Shepard. But with you in it, I will have more reason to embrace it. Be my king and I swear that I'll give you everything I have. You'll have my loyalty and life. Even my love, I can give you."

"You're a hypocrite!" Shepard snapped angrily. His face flushed and his brows furrowed. "Two nights in a row, you couldn't get away from me quick enough, now you make oaths to me as if I'm what you love the most only because you know who I am not how I am. You disappoint me, Kaidan."

"That's not true!" Kaidan shook his head feverish. "I liked you before I know who you are! You are so much, my enemy and my king! Were you just John the mercenary, I would have loved you. Were you only the Specter, I would have killed you. And were you my king, I'd do anything you command. However, you are all of it. Don't you realize that it's difficult for me to fathom? I've been keeping your image at my heart for years. I loved you, like my own child. Then you seduced me into doing something that required me to give up my honor. Don't get me wrong, it was the best night of my life. I felt... safe with you. I... I don't know!" Kaidan let out an exasperate grunt. "I like you, a lot! I want you to be with me in Vancouver and I..."

"Stop, Kaidan." Shepard shook his head. "I won't be your king, deal with it. My place is here and so is yours."

"Dammit!" Kaidan stepped away from Shepard with a loud moan. "Why are you doing this to me? Why keep me here now that you know what's in my heart? If you won't come with me, Shepard, then let me go! Let me return to Vancouver. You might not want to be its king, but I'm still its knight and always will be. And I will die defending it."

"Kaidan," Shepard came up to cup both his cheeks. "You don't have to. I'm not planning on attacking Vancouver. Not now that I have what I want."

"You are not our only enemy, Shepard. I was hoping I still have time to find the last Hackett. Without a king, the Alliance will crumble. My father cannot stabilize the situation and Councilor Udina is too eager for war. Without you, Vancouver needs me."

"That's not for certain."

"It is for certain." Kaidan sighed, leaning into Shepard's touch. "The war will come eventually. Please, understand me. Just as you want to protect your friends and family, I want to do the same for mine."

"Your virtues are your curse, prince Kaidan." Shepard leaned in closer, as if he wanted to kiss Kaidan.

Kaidan leaned forward and met Shepard's lips in the middle. As he pressed with more force, Shepard's arms wrapped around him firmly. This was their first kiss that was not shared under the influence of wine. This kiss was sober and Kaidan liked it even more.

"You realize that letting you go is impossible now, don't you?" Shepard whispered against his skin, eyes closed and hands moving gently. "Kaidan..."

"Didn't know you were considering it." Kaidan closed his eyes and whispered back. "But if you really love me, please let me do my duty."

"Don't," The Specter begged. "You're breaking my heart."

Kaidan gently pushed off Shepard. He gazed into those blue eyes he so desired and sighed deeply. "It'll heal," he said. "Shepard, you will find someone more suitable than me. Someone who understands you and shares your mission. Someone better than me. But don't think I'm not still hoping that you'll change your mind."

Shepard swallowed and Kaidan swore he saw tears in his blue eyes. He wiped them away just as they escaped. Kaidan pressed another small kiss onto Shepard's lips and felt a dread inside him. But eventually, he managed to separate their connection by stepping away. He looked down on the man who seemed to have stepped out of his fantasies.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I guess this is goodbye, then."

Just as Kaidan turned to gather his things, Shepard stopped him.

"Let me show you how we say goodbye here," He hooked his fingers in Kaidan's waistband and pulled. "Vancouver can wait for a few hours."

"I really shouldn't."

Shepard did not respond to that, but continued. "You're not a specter; it's time I get you out of my pants."

When they made love that morning, Kaidan admitted to himself that he really loved Shepard and that leaving was breaking his heart.


	8. treason

Uroboros

08\. Treason

Twilight had already fallen upon the world when Kaidan barged into his chambers in a rush. After little more than one day away, his room felt cold and strange. Built from stone and decorated with silk, Kaidan's chamber was completely different than Shepard's.

Swiftly, Kaidan changed out of his armor. He needed to clean it, but now wasn't the time. He ripped off his sweat-soaked clothes and chose a new set for himself. He washed himself at a bowl quickly and put on his clean clothes. He felt more human already.

Without much hesitation, Kaidan stormed into his study. He opened one crate after the other, looking for an old book he has stored there. He found the tome in the corner, covered by dust. It was a book about the great families of the Alliance and their history. He was sure that the information he needed was in here, somewhere.

He passed the names of the greater families that were extinct already, some of them even by the hand of his lover. He turned many pages at once, looking for more recent history. When he found his own family name and those of Ashley's, his quick movements slowed down. Eventually, his eyes landed on the word "Shepard", illustrated with swirls and little flowers. Apparently, the family started as common knights and every generation surpassed the last until they finally gained a position at court. The last known Shepard was a man Kaidan had never met. But what interested him wasn't the knight's name, but that of his wife.

Lady Hannah's name was written in neat handwriting on the section about Lord Shepard's spouse. It stated that she was a commoner, a soldier in King Steven's army before marrying Lord Shepard. After her husband's death, she joined King Steven's personal guard, upholding the vow Lord Shepard took. Kaidan read on. After a few short paragraphs recording Lady and Lord Shepard's greatest deeds, Kaidan found a note stating that Lady Hannah later had a bastard son.

That's it. No description of the child. No names, nothing.

Frustrated, Kaidan closed the tome with a dead sound. He snorted loudly and let himself sink into his chair. Without more evidence, he could never convince the council that he indeed had found the last Hackett. Even with the sword Arcturus and his golden pendant, it wasn't enough.

A loud knock on his door interrupted his brooding. Whoever was out there didn't wait for his answer but entered.

"Kaidan? Are you there?"

"Ash?" He jumped from his chair and rushed into his entry to meet her. "What are you doing here?"

"So the rumor is true," She gasped. Her cheeks was flushed, as if she had ran all the steps up to his chambers. "You're back. What happened? Did you flee? Hey, what's that on your neck? Did he hurt you?"

"Slow down, Ash," Kaidan held up two hands to stop her. "I'm fine. I convinced him to let me go."

"Really?" Her voice dripped of disbelieve. "Just like that."

"Not just like that," He shook his head and gestured her to help him with his armor. "But he let me go."

She slipped out of her gauntlets and put them on the table. She gave Kaidan's bloodied plate a disapproving look, but grabbed them anyway. "Is he who I think he is?"

"What do you mean?"

"The guy from Chora's Den!" She stared at him. "The merc you slept with."

Kaidan had completely forgotten that Ashley was there. He winced at that memory and the embarrassment. But he nodded.

"I knew it!" She gasped. "Shit."

"I know." Kaidan nodded.

"What did he want?"

"I'm not sure." He sighed. "He said he wanted just me, but I doubt it. No one marches an army to our door for a husband. Not even the crazy Specter."

"And what now? Is he going to leave or... will he attack?"

"I don't think so," Kaidan shook his head and put his gauntlet's on. Ashley was crouching at his feet, fumbling with Kaidan's greaves. "He promised not to attack, but I won't bet my life on it. His mood changes like the weather on open sea. And I found a map of Vancouver in his tent, all entrances and weak points marked out. Though I generally believe him, we still should be on our guard."

"Most of the soldiers have returned to their normal duty." Ashley said and came up to stand before him. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and wiped a few strands from her face. "Councilor Udina has declared the siege over and opened the gates this morning."

"I noticed that."

"Something isn't right, Kaidan." She frowned. "A lot of people entered the city today."

"What people?" He bound his sword belt around his waist and checked if his blade was well oiled.

"Strangers." Ashley followed suit and started checking her own weapons. "From other Alliance Cities it seemed. Some of them clearly were soldiers, mercs, I'd bet."

"What is Udina planning?" Kaidan finished the last of his checks and rubbed his chin.

"Kaidan, what's going on?" Ashley's gaze turned sharp. "What are you keeping from me?"

"What do you mean?" Kaidan stared at her.

"What's going on between you and the Specter?" She didn't let him answer. "He shows up and you jump into bed with him."

"With your encouragement!"

"And a day later, the Specters are at our door. Instead of fighting, you let them into the city. And then, I see you two snuggling in the gardens. Then he..." She grunted with frustration. "Do I have to continue? You realize how it looks? Be honest with me, Kaidan. Or I can't help you."

"Help me with what?" Kaidan frowned.

"There are rumors," Her eyes narrowed. "That you and the Specter are..."

"Are what?"

The door behind him barged open a third time this evening. "Involved." A stranger said. He stepped into the room with the confidence of a winner, followed by armored troops Kaidan didn't recognize. They surrounded the two Vancouver knights, their hands already on the handles of their swords.

"Well done, Chief Williams," The stranger nodded towards Ashley, then placed himself before her. "Lord Udina will be very pleased."

"Who are you?" Kaidan and Ashley asked in the same time.

"My name is Kai Leng," the stranger explained. He removed his helmet, revealing his foreign face. His eyes were marked by black paint that still showed its almond shape. His black hair was long, hanging down to his shoulders. Even the tight armor he wore was unfamiliar.

Kaidan could bet that this was one of the strangers entering their City Ashley told him about.

"On Lord Udina's request, I've come to help enforce the law." Kai Leng added. "Chief Williams, you have stalled just enough time for me and my men to move in. Now, please step aside."

"What's going on here?" Kaidan hissed, his hand sprang to grasp his sword.

"I wouldn't do that, Prince Alenko" the stranger only said. "You are clearly outnumbered. If you come with us quietly, the court might grant you mercy."

"What?" Kaidan gasped. He suppressed the fire of his magic and only stared in the stranger's eyes. "What is my charge?"

"Treason."

"That's not our deal!" Ashley protested, but the stranger silenced her with a hand-gesture.

"I advise you not to overstep your boundaries, Chief Williams." Kai Leng was getting obnoxious by the minute. "Or do you want me to think you were somehow involved in his plans?"

Ashley hesitated for a fraction, but then lowered her head. "No. I don't know of his plans."

"Ash..." Kaidan gasped. "You betrayed me?"

"I'm sorry, Kaidan." Her face flushed with shame. "But the evidence is against you."

"What? I've committed no crime against Vancouver!"

"That's for the court to decide." Kai Leng added.

"Fine!" Kaidan spat. "Bring me to the King. I'll hear my charges from him."

The stranger nodded and turned to leave. His troops closed in around Kaidan, escorting him towards the grand throne-room. While they walked, Kaidan saw Ashley throw shy glances at him. He didn't return them. He still couldn't believe that Ashley had sold him out. She had been his most loyal subordinate and friend. How could she do this to him?

When they neared the center of the castle, nobles and servants backed away to give them more room. Kaidan felt their eyes on him as he walked between his guards, caged in like the criminal they though he was. He heard whisperers, people shouting "traitor" in his way. A woman cried out, stating that she had trusted him. How could he have done this to them.

Kaidan ignored them. How quickly the tides had turned. Barely a few days ago, he was their champion. He was their prince of virtue, the most desired bachelor in Vancouver. They had shouted their love for him and expressed their admiration. How quickly he had fallen, just because he had allowed a savage to defy him.

He shook his head. This shouldn't be Shepard's fault. The Specter had nothing to do with it. It was Udina's paranoia that had twisted his father's mind. Once he looked his parents in the eyes and told them the truth, he would be free again. It was just a huge misunderstanding that happened to work against him. Nothing more.

Kai Leng pushed open the door to the throne-room before him. Kaidan heard people inside gasp as others gathered at the gate, trying to gain a glimpse of what was happening inside. With all the gawking nobles and shrieking servants around them, Kaidan realized too late that the man sitting in the throne wasn't his father, but his first advisor, Councilor Donald Udina.

It also did not escape his notice that Udina was completely dressed in black, like a man in mourning. Even his posture and countenance indicated that someone had died. Sitting in there like a man with a great burden, the politician displayed his sorrow perfectly. If Kaidan only believed him.

"Where is my father?" Kaidan asked when they came to a stop. Kai Leng retreated back to where Kaidan used to stand beside his father. Ashley returned to her post and the other guards stepped just outside of Kaidan's reach.

"Lord Kaidan Alenko," Udina said with a sad voice. "How bold of you to return after the treason you have committed."

"Where is my father?" Kaidan demanded again. His eyes scanned the room but found no trace of him. His mother too was absent. Seeing some other high ranking members of the Vancouver government also dressed in black, Kaidan's gut's turned. "Where is my mother?"

"Spare us this act, Prince Regent," Udina straightened himself in his seat. He took a deep breath and the throne-room silenced. "The King and Queen Regent are dead. Murdered by your accomplice, Specter Shepard."

"What?" Kaidan suddenly couldn't breathe. What was Udina saying? His parents couldn't be dead. They just couldn't. Kaidan saw them just yesterday, perfectly healthy, perfectly alive. He was just gone more than one day, they couldn't be dead.

"You're lying..." he gasped, feeling dizzy all the sudden. "Where are they? Where are my parents?"

"Persistent till the end, I see." Udina sneered. "A servant found them in their bed this morning, both dead. They were poisoned by the first Specter, who was the last man to see them alive. But I needn't tell you that, since it was you who has staged this infamous betrayal! You, whom we all trusted!"

The court was in disarray. In the chaos of outraged expressions, Kaidan failed to register what was spoken. Regardless if they were with or against him, Kaidan felt very alone in the middle of the hall. He was petrified, not able to move. His head spun, still trying to realize that his mother was dead. He pictured her lying in their bed, asleep, with a gentle smile on her lips and knew that she would never open her eyes again. He felt a tear coming to his eyes, but blinked it away. Eventually, he lifted his head towards Udina and couldn't manage to say a single word.

Rage and shock tied his tongue. His mild dislike for Udina grew into an infinite hate. He glared at the new king regent whose sight fooled the entire court but him. He channeled the magic inside him, freeing him from the stupor. As blue fire surrounded him again, the guards drew their swords.

Kaidan's hand reached for his own. He would not stand here and let this happen. He would fight for his honor, or die trying.

In the black yurt camped outside Vancouver, Shepard blinked his tears away. He reached for the blanket Kaidan slept in, hoping to catch a glimpse of Kaidan's scent. But it was already gone. It smelled only like himself.

He swallowed, feeling a new wave of tears attacking his eyes. He hadn't cried in years. But with Kaidan so close and far from him, his bundled emotions crashed against him. He rolled around, pulling one arm over his eyes and allowed himself to cry in silence, hating the word for everything.

He had Kaidan. He had everything. For those brief hours, his life was perfect. As Kaidan came undone beneath his touch, Shepard really believed that Kaidan wouldn't want to leave afterwards.

But Kaidan did. He slipped out of Shepard's embrace softly, leaving nothing but a fleeting memory. He didn't see him off, now he might never see Kaidan again. He just couldn't manage seeing Kaidan ride past him again. Not after all those years of pining. Not after having Kaidan.

He grunted with frustration. He turned in bed and cried out in heart-ache. It stung harder than any blade and hurt more than any wound. It was a pain not just contained to one section but caught his own being. He felt as if his head and chest were about to burst. He let the tears flow freely. They come in waves, each one stronger than the last. He felt as if he had spent hours crying until his throat was hoarse and his eyes dry.

Only then did he realize the presence at his flap.

"Liara," he murmured. Shame made him turn his face away.

"Maybe it's better I don't ask why you let him go."

Shepard get off his bed and poured some wine for himself. "Because I love him. Keeping him here..." He shook his head, trying not to give into his softness. "Because being a knight is who he is. It's what I love about him. I couldn't change that."

"How curious?"

"I'm sorry," Shepard looked at her. "I never apologized for leaving you. Now I know how you felt."

"It's in the past," She smiled sadly. "I couldn't change you either. But I can help you now."

"How? He's gone."

"He is just a few hours ride away. We can easily return him to you."

"We?"

"We love you, Shepard." Liara sat down next to him. "And that includes seeing you happy."

"Something I should know about?"

"Grunt and James are prepared to kidnap him." Liara said with a chuckle. "Whereas Garrus and I are for a more subtle approach."

"How?"

"Garrus is scouting the area. There must be something we can use." She said.

"You want to play politician again?"

"Well, the situation in the Alliance is strained to say at least. Without the last Hackett to occupy the throne, I'm afraid war is inevitable."

Shepard frowned. "Looks like we should ready ourselves for more additions. With war raging, refugees will need our support. It will be like ten years ago."

"Worse," Liara nodded. "All Alliance cities will be involved this time. If my prediction is correct, they will fight for the fertile lands. Vancouver will be attacked, repeatedly."

"Who can challenge them?" He moved towards his war-room and looked down at the map of the Alliance controlled territory.

"They call themselves Cerberus," Liara pointed at the City of Cronos. "Their leader is a ruthless idealist by the name of Illusive Man. I've encountered his agents many times. They are not like the anointed knights of Vancouver. They follow no code of honor, only the idea of a dominant Alliance that tolerated no competition."

"What do they want?"

"To wipe us out." She explained. "We are the weeds that spoiled their lands."

"Mhm..." Shepard massaged his stubbed chin. He could use a shave again. "They certainly will deal with the Alliance Cities first before turning their attention to us. Which gives us more time to prepare. And if they attacked Vancouver, a strong ally like the Fire Claws will be welcome. Is this what you're saying?"

"Our people needs a home eventually." She said. "Saving Vancouver from destruction will smooth over the strained relationship to their King Regent."

"Kaidan's father isn't really fond of me."

"But you returned his son, now. I'm sure Prince Kaidan will be more than grateful if you came to his aid."

"Yeah, but Cerberus has to attack first." Shepard mused.

"It is only a matter of time." She leaned against the table. "The treaty of Vancouver expires in a few months."

"The what?"

"You didn't know?" Liara sounded surprised. "Oh well, the treaty King Regent Alenko signed with all the other kings after Hackett's death."

"What does it say?"

"That the last Hackett has to claim his throne before he reaches the age of 25. After that, the Hackett birthright becomes... invalid." Liara's gaze said more than her mouth did. "Right now, Robert Alenko acts with the Hackett authority. After that... you can imagine what happens."

"War of succession," Shepard counted. "Burned fields, dead soldiers, rape, hunger, refugees, chaos. Yeah, we've seen that before."

"So?"

"What?" Shepard gasped.

"You could put a stop to it."

"Yeah, by giving my support to Vancouver," Shepard said quickly. "And for that, well, I guess I would have earned the prince. And after the war, Kaidan wouldn't have a reason to refuse me. If I fight beside him, he might fall in love with me."

"Is that all you think about?" Liara chuckled. "Love?"

"What else is there to life?" He laughed. "Well, I think about our people, too. Some of them will find a good home in Vancouver."

"What will we do?" Liara wondered.

"Let's think about that when this is over." Shepard toasted Liara with his wine. His heart throbbed at the thought of war. Ever since he united all the clans, he hadn't had a decent fight with an opponent that offered him challenge. Thinking about leading his enormous army into war, Shepard grinned.

"What's on your mind?"

"War." He answered. "It's what I'm made for."

"It's what you're best at." Liara agreed.

"Besides making love, that is." He laughed again and downed his wine. Now that he had a plan of conquering Kaidan, the previous heart-ache felt a lot more like motivation. He even looked forward to it.

Hooves thundering on earth alerted Shepard. A minute later, Garrus rushed into his tent, his skin shimmering and his spear dripping with blood. The heat in his eyes told Shepard his best friend just killed a man. The worry between his brows made Shepard halt in his movements.

"We have a problem." Garrus gasped. "Kaidan has been arrested."

"Drop your sword, Lord Alenko." Kai Leng landed before Kaidan in a swift flip, his own thin blade only an arm-length away from Kaidan. Many nobles gasped and backed away while the armored guards Udina had brought to the city closed in. Kaidan was outnumbered one to six. Even with his exceptional combat expertise that exceeded everyone else in Vancouver, Kaidan knew that he had no chance of winning this fight.

Drawing his weapon was a rash move. It was the anger of being accused that led Kaidan's hand to his blade. Realizing this the bad timing, the prince lowered his sword slightly, but did not drop it.

"Prince Kaidan, please don't make a scene," Udina spoke as if he was begging. "If you admit your crimes, I promise to be merciful."

"What crimes?" Kaidan cried out. He glared at the nobles gathered before him, all of them high functional of Vancouver. When his position was reversed, Kaidan always took pride seeing these men and women, knowing that their politics constantly protected Vancouver. But standing before him as an accused traitor, he feared their judgment. "I didn't kill my parents!"

"We never accused you of doing it yourself," Udina sat straighter in his throne. "It was only you who had planned it. Together with your betrothed, you have planned to take over Vancouver. Isn't it true? It started when you invited him into this very hall instead of protecting us from his presence. It has not passed our attention that you know him already beforehand. And while our beloved king was off guard, you orchestrated a duel which united you with your ally. After that, while you were safely out of the way, you let the Specter poison your own parents! Now you return to us to claim this throne, knowing that it would be vacant. But you thought wrong, Prince Alenko. My men and your own captain saw through your lies. They came to me for these honorable knights could no longer bare to be part of your schemes. They urged me to act as the King Regent, freeing Vancouver from a traitor."

"Lies!" Kaidan shouted out. He had listened to them with his teeth clenched but could no longer suffer it. "All lies!"

"Is it, Prince Alenko?" Udina challenged. "I have witnesses whose words I trust."

"Let them speak before me, then!" Kaidan demanded. "I'll uncover their lies about me."

"Chief Williams," Udina made a gesture and Ashley flinched. "Would you be so kind to tell the court what you told me?"

"My Lord," she hesitated. "I..."

"Your oath not to betrayal Prince Alenko's confidence is release the moment he was accused. Don't be shy, child."

"Ash," Kaidan begged. "Don't do this."

"I'm sorry, Kaidan. But you were acting very strange lately." She stepped down into the middle and addressed the gathered nobles. "I saw Prince Alenko with the first Specter during the feast. They were in the gardens, alone." She swallowed. "They appeared very... familiar."

"Don't do this to me, Ash." Kaidan shook his head. He didn't know if he should be grateful that she hadn't mentioned the night in Chora's Den. If would ruin just about everything...

"What did they say?" Udina asked.

"I was too far away," Ashley reported. "I couldn't hear it."

"What did they do, then?"

"They... talked." Ashley said. "And... were intimate."

Kaidan winced and the court gasped. They whispered to each other eagerly, discussing the meaning of it. Kaidan should have known that someone noticed them. He should have been more careful.

"Thank you, Chief Williams. You may return to your post." Udina focused on the court instead of Kaidan. "Shameful!" He spat. "You should have leaved it at there, Prince Alenko. Instead, you choose to fool us with an outrageous charade. The duel was nothing but a fraud."

"It was not!" Kaidan protested. "How dare you accuse me of false honor? You yourself encouraged me to challenging him myself!"

"I encouraged you to defend our people, to spare lives, not to bed a savage."

Kaidan cheeks burned with anger. His grip around his sword tightened and the muscles in his body tensed. Immediately, Kai Leng lifted his blade in a defensive position.

"I..." Kaidan started but was cut short.

"It was my love for you and your father that had blinded me to your dubious game." Udina continued. "But I will not be fooled again by your tricks, Prince Alenko. It is still not too late to admit your guilt."

"I have nothing to confess!" Kaidan said firmly. He hinted a bow at the gathered nobles around him before he opened his mouth. "Hear me, Lord and Ladies of Vancouver. I am not a traitor. Even since my knighthood, I have served the crown loyally and honorably. Letting Shepard into our hall was a mistake, but only one I made out of concern for your lives." Kaidan took a short breath and took in the attention on himself. "Like my father, I detest bloodshed. But you all know that I have never hesitated striking our enemies down. But Shepard is not our enemy. It was a stroke of fate that had led me to him. In the brief time I have known him, I've learned of his noble origin. After twelve years, I have found the last Hackett!" With that, Kaidan withdrew the golden pendant baring King Steven's sigil. He lifted it high, so all could see it. As the people around him gasped and whispered again, Kaidan turned back towards Udina. "John Shepard, the first Specter is the son of Lady Hannah Shepard and our late King Steven. Before his death, King Steven revealed this secret to my father and to your, Councilor Udina. Shepard is the rightful King of Vancouver."

"Preposterous!" Udina barked. He frowned deeply, glaring at Kaidan as if he wanted to shut him up by the force of will. "It is another fraud to rob this throne! The last Shepard is a myth, a story you cling on to stall time while you planned to take over. Tell me, what did the savage promise you when you make him king?"

"He promised me nothing!" Kaidan snapped. "I learned of the truth this morning and thus I returned to confirm it. I didn't kill my parents and neither did Shepard. I am wrongly accused."

"You claim to be innocent, then?"

"I do!"

"Then you surely wouldn't oppose a trial to determine that."

It was either fighting his way out like a guilty criminal or place his trust in the justice of Vancouver. Kaidan sighed and nodded.

"Very well," Udina nodded and Kaidan breathed out. "Chief Williams, please escort Lord Kaidan to his chambers where he should be constantly under guard. My Lord and Ladies, I am very sorry to today's inconvenience. Lord Alenko's trail will be in a fortnight, after the mourning of..."

Behind them, a squad of Kaidan's men pushed their way through the gathered nobles. The leader of them, Sir Jenkis made his way towards Councilor Udina and hinted a quick bow.

"My Lord," He said breathlessly. "The Savage broke through our defenses, they are in the city!"

"What?" Kaidan gasped and exchanged a quick glance with Ashley. "What did you say?"

"They came out of nowhere, My Lord!" Sir Jenkins gasped. "We didn't see them coming. The witch did something and then the Specters are in the city. They opened the gate and... they are headed this way."

"What do they want?" Ashley asked, her eyes wide with shock.

"They..." Jenkins hesitated, fumbling with his fingers.

"Out with it!" Udina barked.

"They want Prince Kaidan, My Lord." Jenkins looked from Udina to Kaidan then lowered his gaze. "They demand the immediate release of Prince Kaidan, or they'll burn the city down."

"Oh shit..." Kaidan murmured. Now no one would ever believe that he was innocent.

"Cease that traitor!" Someone called from the crowd. Other agitated shouts quickly joined in, calling out the worst insults. One man even demanded Kaidan's head.

"Apprehend the traitor!" Udina sneered, his acted mercy all gone.

Before Kaidan could protest, the foreign assassin landed in Kaidan's path, his sword glowing. He didn't wait for acknowledgment, but attacked. The knight sidestepped the slash, quickly murmuring a spell to infuse his armor and arms. He lifted his sword just in time to block Kai Leng's second slash.

The stranger moved fast, with many acrobatic stunts. It was difficult following his movements, let alone predict where he might strike next. Many times, Kaidan felt the thin blade connect with his armor, leaving scratches and cut in them. He channeled more energy into his hand as Kai Leng circled around him. When the assassin jumped this time, Kaidan unleashed the gathered lightning into Leng's direction, catching him in full scale.

The man cried out in pain as his magical barrier burst. He flipped backwards, landing in a low crouch. "Cover me!" He shouted. His men, the men Udina had let into the city advanced, using the opening in Kaidan's defenses. While the knight crossed his sword with the other soldiers, he saw in the corner of his eyes that Kai Leng was murmuring an incantation. Things were getting worse by the minute.

Kaidan rolled out of the way as two swords crashed down on him. He slashed out low, catching their unprotected legs. Both men cried out before falling down on the ground. The men behind them had to jump over their wounded comrades to get to the Prince.

Kaidan used this chance to slip behind a column. He pushed a noble man out of the way and emerged from the other side. He shifted behind the man following him and pushed his charged sword into his side. The man had no more strength to cry out. He gasped and fell when Kaidan withdrew his sword, making blood spread again.

"Surrender!" Ashley barked, coming towards him with her sword drawn. "Kaidan, don't make it worse!"

"My guilt is decided!" Kaidan gasped back. He conjured a shield from blue fire to protect his left side and faced her in a defensive position. "Ashley, I didn't betray us, you know it. You have to believe me."

"Then stop fighting!"

"And let those strangers take me?"

"Please, Kaidan. Don't make me kill you!"

"Dammit, Ash! You know me! I'm not a traitor!"

"But you..."

"I know you're trying to do the right thing! But you've been fooled. This is some coup. If you give me time, I can prove it! Ash, believe me!"

For a moment, it looks like Ashley was about to give in. Then, her eyes widened and looked past Kaidan. The prince turned around just in time to block the incoming missile. An arrow bounced off his magical shield and Kaidan threw his sword at the archer. His blade embedded itself deeply into the man's chest, who crashed against the wall and slid down.

Kaidan switched to his dagger and stabbed it into the chin of a solder that tried to flank him. He pulled the man around to shield himself from two other arrows before rolling out of the way. The Magical shield on Kaidan's arm was small and inefficient against ranged attacks. It was more made for melee, than blocking waves of eaves of arrows.

Without a proper sword in his hand, Kaidan dived behind a column again. He came to stand face to face with a terrified maid. He gestured her to stay slow and crawl out of the way at first chance. The knight didn't dare looking around, afraid he might see even more innocent who had been caught in the bloodshed in the throne-room.

"Come out!" Kai Leng challenged and Kaidan quickly stole a glance at his opponent. Kai Leng was standing proudly in the middle of the hall, his whole body again glowing with magical barrier. His sword, thought, rested on Ashley's throat. "And drop your weapons, or she dies."

"You bastard!" Ashley cursed.

"Shut up, Williams!" Kai Leng yanked her towards Kaidan by her hair. "Prince Alenko, it's your call."

Cursing Udina with all his imagination, Kaidan managed a frustrated yell. He stepped out of the shadow and let his dagger fall to the ground. The shield magically attached to his left arm dissolved as the blue surrounding him faded.

"Good prince," Kai Leng smirked. "Now, kneel."

"You son of a bitch!" Kaidan hissed, but dropped to his knees.


	9. the birth of legend

Uroboros

09\. the birth of legend

Shepard was not called a Specter for nothing.

They were the strongest warriors and the greatest mages. They were not trained, but chosen. Each of them was forged in the fire of battle and hardship. It was their actions that elevated them above the others. To the Fire Claws, specters are an ideal, a symbol, the embodiment of courage, determination and self-reliance. To the world, Specters were not mere men. They were monsters, marching out of the abyss to inflict terror on the world.

They weren't completely wrong.

Shepard moved through the night like the demon he was feared as. With his father's sword raised high, the warlord charged into the ranks of their enemies and smashed them down in one single strike. With anger to fuel his heart, Shepard let all his strength flow through his sword, sharpen it tenfold. No shield the soldiers used could block out his attack, no strike pierced his abyssal armor.

But slaughter was not what he desired. He killed none of the men and women he encountered. Only wounded them enough to stop their foolish righteousness. He dealt differently with the men coming from Cronos though. Once Liara pointed him out on the sigil they all wore on their armor, Shepard's grin spread wider.

Any who thought him a merciful man was proven wrong tonight.

As he cut down Cerberus' soldiers one by one, he imagined the stories they would tell about him in the morning when they find those decapitated corpses in the streets. He liked it when they see what he was made off. What he could do. He was a ghost on the battlefield, moving his body faster than eyes could see, leaving only a thin trail of magic behind him.

When the last soldier at the barricade fell, Shepard whistled for his horse. He swung himself onto its back and immediately charged for the large castle in the middle. Liara and his brothers gathered behind him, trapping down whoever dared to block their path.

"Where is Kaidan?" He barked, swinging his sword towards a Cerberus soldier on the side.

"In the castle!" Liara shouted back. Sometimes Shepard wondered how she knew it all. But she had eyes and ears everywhere. Though she had never explained it to Shepard, he thought maybe she was able to feel magic and see through the eyes of others.

"Commander, we have company!"

Shepard threw a glance back over his shoulder, seeing more Cerberus soldiers pouring out from each side of the road. Where did they come from, he wondered. They weren't here just a few days ago.

"Grunt, go reinforce our left flank! James, you take the right." Shepard snapped, slowing down just enough to give the orders. "Garrus, I want you to coordinate the attack. Keep civilian casualty to a minimum for now. But kill all the others."

"Alliance or Cerberus?" James asked.

"Cerberus," Shepard replied instantly. "But if the Alliance oppose you, kill them too. We must defend the castle. Liara, you come with me."

"Go get him, Shepard!" Garrus slapped him on the shoulder and twisted his long black spear in his hand. Shepard grinned at what his best friend could do with it. Pounding his chest-plate with a fist, Shepard gestured his respect. He turned his horse around and thundered over the road towards the castle with Liara riding closely behind him.

They took the side road and encountered only a few Cerberus soldiers. It was clear that they were headed down the main road, where his own army was engaged in battle. Without order from the king, many Alliance Knight didn't really know whom to fight. They hesitated, but still chose to cross their swords with Shepard.

The savage warlord let them down easy. He was sure that some of the knights would be a crippled from tomorrow on, at least they didn't die. As a knight in bright red armor charged down the road at him, Shepard only knocked the knight off his horse. He jumped down himself and pressed the knight to the ground with his boot.

"What's going on? Who gave the attack order?" Shepard barked at the breathless man. "If you want to live, answer me!"

"Vancouver will never be yours!"

"Foolish move!"

"Die!" The knight pulled out the dagger on his belt and tried to stab it in Shepard's leg. The Specter avoided the blade by crushing his knee down on to the knight's chest. He heard metal and bones break.

"Idiot!" He cursed and swung himself back onto his horse. It looked like he had to get to Kaidan to find all the answers. Right now, he didn't even exactly know why Kaidan had been arrested. Garrus said something about treason, but that couldn't be right.

Riding fast as the wind, Shepard reached the gate of the castle within minutes. He stamped down the man guarding the door and barged into the yard. He didn't bother dismounting but rode up the stone stairs. Liara murmured a spell behind him and send it ahead, blasting the heavy wooden doors off of its hinges.

Kaidan jerked his head around to see Shepard on a black horse, charging into their sacred hall. The witch of twilight behind him waved around with her arms while her magic whipped the attacking men back into the corners. Kai Leng's grasp around Ashley loosened just for a bit. It was enough for her to drive her elbow into his midsection. She rolled forward, picking up her sword on the way. A moment later, she was crouching next to Kaidan, ready to defend him.

"I'm so sorry," She managed to gasp. "I had no idea. Kaidan, just tell me I won't regret this!"

"You won't!" Kaidan's sword was still too far away, so he grasped the one in front of him. The dead soldier wouldn't need it anymore. "Udina, stop this madness!"

"Leng," the councilor barked. "Kill him! Kill them all!"

"With pleasure!" The assassin huffed. He swung his sword, then charged.

"No!" Ashley shouted. She rose to her feet and placed herself in Leng's way. The foreign man apparently had no problem with striking Ashley down. Both met in the middle, swords clashing. She was skilled just fine, but he was better. Within a few encounters, Kaidan knew that Ashley had no chance of winning against someone who obviously trained to confuse and defeat armored knights.

Grinding his teeth, Kaidan wiped the sweat and blood form his face. Just as he was about to rescue Ashley from the superior opponent, the flank of a horse blocked his view. A strong hand came down to grasp his arm and Kaidan felt his feet leave the ground. It must have been a spell for the next instant Kaidan was seated behind Shepard on his horse. The warlord ignored Kaidan protest but turned his mount around.

"No!" Kaidan called out, turning to see Ashley in a heated engagement with Kai Leng. "I can't leave her!"

Hearing him, the witch released a spell towards Kai Leng, knocking him back onto his back. What happened next Kaidan couldn't see, for Shepard was already dashing down the stone steps, bringing him further away from the great hall. They past the gate to the castle only minute later. Soon, Kaidan and the Specters found themselves in the middle a fully ongoing battle.

Kaidan had never seen Vancouver like this before. Houses were burning, men were dying. With each blink, a man fell under the ruthless blade of a Fire Claw. With each gasp, a fire claw was pierced by the hardened steel in a knight's hand.

"Stop!" Kaidan cried out. "Shepard, stop!"

But the Specter ignored him. Turning around the corner, Shepard slowed down for in the middle of a broad road was Garrus Vakarian, who made a battle looked like a dance. Kaidan had heard stories of the former noble, but no words could describe him as he slew those foreign soldiers. The Specter moved with elegance and agility. He took complete advantage of the reach of his spear. He dodged not by sidestepping as Kaidan did, but bend backwards, flipped over his opponents head or simply let the blade past his flesh by centimeters. Whenever an opponent made the mistake of coming to close, Vakarian killed him with his bare hands.

He noticed Shepard's coming and grinned at the leader while stabbing a man through his chest. He inclined his head to the right as if in greeting, letting an arrow past his skull. With a movement fluent like water, Vakarian twisted around and threw his spear directly into the archer's head. He made a wave with his hand and the spear flew back into his palm.

"How are things?" Shepard asked.

"We have Cerberus on the run," Vakarian wiped the sweat from his forehead. "But it will last till morning when we want to kill them all."

Kaidan used this change to slip down Shepard's horse. "What the hell are you doing here, Shepard? You promised not to attack!"

"Those aren't your men, Kaidan!" Shepard dismounted to face him. "They are Cerberus, from Cronos. Heard of them? They obviously aren't your friends!"

"The strangers Ashley spoke of," Kaidan frowned. "What else do you know?"

"They follow the Illusive Man," Liara came up behind him. "A known political rival of your father."

"Yeah, where is he?" Shepard asked. "I had an agreement with him."

Thinking of his father, Kaidan's anger returned. He grasped the front of Shepard's armor and pushed him against the nearest wall. Their bodies crashed against each other, but instead with wincing, Shepard grinned.

"So eager," he winked at Kaidan. "I greatly support battlefield flirting."

"What did you do to my parents?" Kaidan barked. "Did you poison them?"

"What? Why would I?" Shepard's grin disappeared. "Wait, are they dead?"

"You didn't know?"

"Of course not! I came here because I heard you were arrested. I came to save you. I thought at least you'd offer me some gratitude."

"I'm not some damsel in distress! I have the situation under control."

"Didn't look that way, if I'm honest." Shepard pushed off Kaidan. "What's going on?"

"My parents are dead." He swallowed hard. "I was accused of treason. They believe that I staged their assassination and let you carry it out! Dammit, I could have convinced them to give me a fair trial, had you not choose to play hero and attack my city!"

"Shepard came to save you," Garrus Vakarian closed in, an unreadable yet dangerous expression on his face. In the light of burning houses, the former count's small, dark eyes glistened, making Kaidan reconsider his words. "I would show a little gratitude if I were you, Prince Kaidan."

"You can thank me later. In private." Shepard winced at him.

"Dammit, this is not a game, Shepard!" Kaidan barked. "It is my home that's burning! A fire that you started! They say you killed my parents! I don't want to believe it, but you are the last one to see them alive. Tell me what happened there."

"If I wanted to kill someone, believe me poison would be the last thing I'd use." The first Specter spat in the earth, obviously insulted by Kaidan's implication. "I have nothing to do with your parent's murder. I met your father to talk."

"About what?"

"Us, of course!" Shepard frowned. "I'm not a barbarian, Kaidan. You think I would really just claim you and leave? We, your father and I that is, we agreed on you being his liaison and his ambassador. You are to be a part of my army and my inner circle. It would have given you great influence over the Fire Claws and at the Vancouver court."

"I find it hard to believe." Kaidan snorted.

"Believe what you want, it doesn't matter now." Shepard sighed. "I doubt whoever is in charge now would honor King Robert and my agreement."

"Udina sure didn't hesitate to charge me with treason." Kaidan explained. "Even Ashley sold me out, she thinks you bewitched me."

"I wish I had that kind of power..." Shepard scratched the back of his head. "Anyway, let's get you out of here."

"Go, if you want, but I'm not leaving!" Kaidan turned on Shepard sharply. "My parents are murdered, I'll avenge them."

"You alone cannot take the city," Liara stepped in. "Even if your troops joined you, Cerberus soldiers already control the castle. Going back would be suicide."

"My friend is in there!" Kaidan pointed at the castle in the distance, a black shape against the sky. "Ash is still alive. And Udina is on the throne. I bet it was him behind this all."

"Makes sense," Vakarian nodded, wiping blood from his spear with a piece of cloth. "Kill your parents, charge you with treason and then take the throne for himself. All he needed is a little Cerberus support."

"Son of a bitch!" Kaidan cursed. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that the power-hungry bastard was behind it all. "I must go back and save Ash. Shepard, I can use your help with it."

"Didn't she just betray you?" Garrus asked.

"I came to save you, Kaidan, not to conquer a city."

"Not that we couldn't..." Vakarian shrugged. "Just saying."

"We should decide soon," Liara closed her eyes and seemed to be listening. "Cerberus reinforcements are on its way."

Kaidan was already moving towards the horses of the dead soldiers. They seem perfect unfazed by the fighting around them and were remaining perfectly still. Perhaps they had seen too much war already. As he climbed onto a horse, Shepard was still hesitating. Kaidan lined his mount with him.

"If you're not helping, then get the hell out of my city!" Kaidan commanded. "We have too many dead for tonight."

"Wait! Don't go, don't make me lose you."

"It's not your call!"

"But I care about you!"

"It's not about me, or you," Kaidan hissed. "This is my duty. This is my home. I can't just leave it behind like this. Someone has to fight for Vancouver." With a disappointed look, Kaidan nudged his mount to move. He believed that Shepard called something after him but didn't bother. It was hard enough to have seen Shepard there and be forced to leave him again.

But he couldn't say he was more than a little frustrated that Shepard again would renounce his responsibility. There was suddenly tears in his eyes. He blinked them away in the wind. He rode through the city faster than he should. A few times, he had to dodge under the swings of the Fire Claw's blade. They must have mistaken him for a Vancouver knight.

When the gate of the castle came into view, he halted his horse. Two dozen men were waiting for him, their swords drawn and their shields raised. This was going to be very unfair, Kaidan knew. Telling himself that inside was the man who killed his parents, Kaidan conjured his courage.

He sent the poor horse away after dismounting. Maybe he could save one more live today. Steadily, Kaidan drew the sword he'd taken from that dead Cerberus soldier. He pointed it at the mercenaries, letting it burst into real flames this time. He wasn't holding back, not this time. Not facing stranger wanting to take over his home.

"Let me pass and no one needs to be harmed." Kaidan said.

The mercenaries only laughed. They clasped their swords against their shields.

"Alright," Kaidan loosened his shoulder. His magical shield appeared at his left hand, covering half of his body. He let magic wash over him, granting him further protection. The fire of his sword hissed angrily, as if eager to burn. "Who wants to die first, or should I take all of you at once?"

The men charged, their swords raised high and battle-cries on their lips. Kaidan murmured a spell under his breath, as he made himself ready for the clash. The last word of the spell was spoken as the first soldier ran into Kaidan's burning sword. The rest of them were called in a wave with Kaidan as its pivot. They looked at each other in confusion, for nothing has changed. But Kaidan knew better. He cut down the man closest to him and that alerted the other.

They directed their attention at Kaidan and three blades came at him from three different directions. His sword and his shield only blocked two. He cried out in pain as the third blade pierced through his armor and drilled deep into his shoulder. He felt blood running down beneath his plates. It was uncomfortably warm and Kaidan stepped back, forcing the metal to leave his flesh. Just as the soldier laughed in his triumph, Kaidan's burning blade cut through his throat in a clean strike.

The two others around him hesitated for a moment, then both fell to their knees. They clasped their chests and whimpered choked sounds. As life was slowly drained from their bodies, Kaidan felt his own wound close. Within a few seconds, the two brave soldiers were dead and the prince was fully healthy again.

"Four down," he hissed. "Twenty to go. Who's next?"

Now that the soldiers realized what Kaidan had down, they weren't so eager to encounter him anymore. They looked at each other, as if asking who of them dared to wound him and who of them wanted to die first. Grinning, Kaidan chose the offensive. He charged into their line, splitting one man with one single trike. He kicked the other in the leg, breaking it and smashed him frontal across the face.

Kaidan counted as he killed. Every time he was injured, another man around him died for Kaidan's magic devoured him from the inside. When there were only ten left, Kaidan felt the strain on his magical reserve. His inside burned, so did his hand from grasping a flaming sword. His shoulder hurt, and his legs also. His armor was getting heavier by the minute and the blood in his face blurred his vision. He cut wildly, taking lives as if he was born to do so.

In truth, Kaidan hadn't killed this much in years. But those weren't his man. Like Liara said, a power fell, a power rose. If the vacuum wasn't filled, it was his people that suffered. Thus, the man who didn't want to be king was determinate to retake the throne.

As his blade cut through the last man, Kaidan let out a loud sigh. He was terribly tired. But he had to move on. He didn't come this far to stop at two dozen lackeys. Taking three steps at once, Kaidan rushed up the grand staircase. He had expected more mercenaries awaiting him, but not this much.

Apparently, Udina had guessed that he'd be back. Half the throne-room was filled with men baring the Cerberus sigil. On the far side, Ashley knelt before Udina, with Kai Leng standing over her.

"Welcome back, Prince Kaidan." Udina addressed him. "Though I thought you would return with your savage husband. Apparently, he abandoned you. As well"

"This is between you and me," Kaidan retorted. "Step away from the throne and I might let you live."

The politician managed a snort. "Hilarious, indeed. I'm curious how you plan on achieving that."

"By cutting my way through to you, just like I cut through your guards down at the gate." Kaidan circled his blade in his hand. He was already sustaining the fire and the shield with the last bit of magic in him. They will both vanish within minutes. After that he had to rely on his physical strength alone.

"Surrender, Prince Alenko," Udina shook his head. "You cannot win this fight. You have no army or allies. You are alone in this. Even your captain has given up on you."

Udina turned Ashley's face upwards for Kaidan to see. Even from his current position, Kaidan could see that she was wounded and half unconscious. There was a large gash on her forehead, blooding covering half of her face. Anger rose inside Kaidan again, giving him more strength to tighten his fingers around the hot handle. He must somehow get to her.

As his eyes searched the room for advantage, he realized that Udina was right. Kaidan was hopelessly outnumbered. Just in that moment, Kaidan's burning sword extinguished, leaving only blackened metal. After burning for so long, the edge of the blade was blunt. Kaidan couldn't even cut a log with it. With a frustrated snort, he through it aside.

"Now would be a good time to realize where you stand," Udina lectured. "Kai Leng, bring me his head."

The mouth of the assassin twitched. The men gathered before the throne parted, making a way for the foreign man. His almond eyes narrowed as he approached, as confident as the moment he entered Kaidan's chambers. He came to a stop before the prince and loosened his shoulders. With a grin, Kai Leng dashed towards the unarmed prince. Kaidan instinctively raised his arms to block the attack as something flew past him, faster as eyes could see.

With an explosion of white magic, Kai Leng was pressed into the stone floor with a black armored man kneeling over him.

"Take your fingers off my husband!" Shepard hissed and tossed the assassin into the lines of soldiers. He then turned towards Kaidan with one of his wicked smiles. "Sorry, sweetheart, I've changed my mind."

"Took you long enough," Kaidan retorted, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He stepped back and pulled his sword out of the corpse with a squish. He wiped the blood away and felt so much more confident all the sudden. Behind him, three frightening warriors and a terrifyingly powerful woman filled the door frame. They readied their weapons and magic, stepping up behind Shepard.

Kaidan joined then, hope blooming in his chest. Right now, he could just kiss Shepard.

"The great Specter," Kai Leng emerged from his troops. Instead of coming towards them, the cowered stepped backwards, until he reached the elevated steps again. "I've been looking forward to this."

"Kill them!" Udina barked behind the assassin. "Kai Leng, kill them all."

"Silence!" The Cerberus man barked. "Let me handle it."

"I command you to kill them all, right now!"

"I don't take orders from you, Udina." Kai Leng shot a disgusted look towards the politician on the throne.

"Trouble in paradise?" Vakarian grinned. "Looks like you've been played."

"I am the King!" Udina barked. "I've been waiting for this for twelve years! Vancouver is mine!"

"Actually," Shepard said and threw a glance back at Kaidan. "Vancouver is mine."

"You are a savage..."

"With an army that's mopping the floor with your men." Shepard said. "Not that I don't want to kill you... It's just I don't know how long it'll take to wash the blood-strain from this floor. I'd like my new throne-room clean, you understand. So... how about you just step down and we all call this a day."

"I..." Udina stuttered.

"My employer wants your head, great Specter," Kai Leng announced. "I hate to disappoint."

"Well, in that case..." Shepard raised his sword as a wide grin appeared on his face again. "Let the best man win."

"Wait!" Kaidan called out but Shepard was already charging into his enemies. For a moment, he contained himself with just watching. Shepard was a blur of energy, jumping from one place to another. Wherever he landed, an explosion erupted, catching at least five men in its wake. He then jumped around, hacking, slaying, and slashing with his sword. Limps and head flew. The men in his immediate proximity backed away while the in the back pushed forwards. Shepard held them all, grinning and laughing as he bathed in his enemy's blood and screams.

"Is he always like that?" Kaidan wondered aloud.

"He's been behaving himself all night. Let him have fun." Garrus nodded, standing next to Kaidan completely aloof.

"Aren't you going to help?" Kaidan wondered.

"Nah, he'll manage." Garrus shrugged.

"That's 50 against one." Kaidan remarked.

"Man, you killed two dozen. He'll be pissed if he can't win the body count." James joined them. "Man, he's taking his time."

"Urg," Grunt shifted to one foot to the other. "Chief gets all the fun."

Kaidan wasn't even listening anymore. He just saw how Shepard picked a man up with his sword and threw him across the room. The way Shepard fought was brutal, but very effective. Though the man he was watching was drenched in blood, Kaidan found it strangely arousing. When Shepard grunted, cutting a man in half, Kaidan gasped.

"Yeah, he was going easy on you," James chuckled.

"I noticed." Kaidan sorted. "He could have torn me in half."

"Liara said it's okay to play with food." Grunt mumbled.

"What?"

"He said you're his dessert."

"Excuse me?"

"It's what chief said."

"I'm..."

"I wouldn't mind some help!" Shepard's voice carried over to them. Glancing back, Kaidan noticed a hand waving for them, as Shepard's body was buried under at least five men in full armor.

"I knew I'd have to pull your ass out." Garrus sighed, his spear already spinning.

"Yeah!" Grunt was faster, though. He charged into the pile, sending all of them flying, Shepard included.

James, Garrus and Kaidan all joined in. Fighting as if they had done it all their lives, Kaidan found himself not lacking all that much. He decapitated the man Garrus had pierced with his spear and kicked another in the face who flew in James path. The man's two handed grand-cleaver crushed armor and bone alike.

On the far side where Shepard had landed the Specter grunted. Kaidan saw in his peripheral sight how Shepard rolled just out of the way as Kai Leng's blade came down to pierce his body. He heard two men shouting at each other as metals blades met midair, sending sparks through the air. Kaidan desperately wanted to watch the showdown of masters, but was too busy finishing off the remaining soldiers.

With three warriors and one mage on his side, the rest of them fell under Kaidan's blade in minutes. But on the far side, Kai Leng and Shepard were engaged in a duel not even Udina could look away from.

If not so much was at stake, Kaidan might find it amusing. There was a poetic flair in the moment as the rightful heir to the throne, returned to his town of birth after twelve years, fought the dog of the usurper. Playing out right before Kaidan was the stuff legends were made off.

In the days to come, they would say that John Shepard had always known where he belonged. They would say that he had fought a demon from abyss, coming to bewitch the senses of the noble man. Kai Leng's legend would grow, until he was elevated beyond the state of human only to be defeated by the son of King Steven Hackett. In the morning, when the nobles returned to these halls, the truth would be forgotten. All they would know, all they cared about was that Shepard would be the one on the throne.

Kaidan could predict the tales almost for certain. He himself had read too many of them in days when he dreams. But even back in those days, Kaidan knew that legends were only told of the victor, of the man who survived. If Shepard failed against Kai Leng, no heroic stories would ever be told of them. If Shepard lost, Kaidan knew that his head would be mounted on a spike by the time of next sunrise.

But Shepard did not fail. With a battle-cry on his lips, he charged into Kai Leng, throwing the slender man back against a column. The Specter followed within a faction, pressing the assassin in place. The blade of Arcturus embedded itself into Kai Leng's shoulder as the stranger winced in pain. In the infinity of his cruel heart, Shepard twisted the steel.

"I know I should say something clever right now," Shepard started. "But there's really nothing I want to tell you. So, I am just going to kill you."

Shepard pulled his sword out of Kai Leng's flesh with a loud wet sound. The man cried out, then sunk to his knees. Shepard grinned and lifted his sword high, when Kai Leng suddenly chose to speak after all.

"Wait!" He called out. "I surrender."

"Too bad," the Specter sneered. "I don't take prisoners."

"It was Udina!" Kai Leng said hastily. "I acted on his orders."

"Speak!" Kaidan demanded, coming to stand next to Shepard.

"It was your councilor who ordered me to poison your parents, Prince Kaidan." The assassin confessed. "To win the support of Cerberus, he promised his allegiance to the Illusive Man."

"Is that true?" Kaidan whipped around and was in front of Udina in a few steps. The man stumbled, falling back against the steps before the throne. Any color in his face disappeared, as he held up his hand in defense against Kaidan's towering figure.

"No!" The politician gasped. "He's a liar! He would say anything to save himself! I acted in Vancouver's interest. So what if I asked for some support? Kaidan, you would have done the same where our positions reversed!"

"I would never have trusted Cerberus!" Kaidan snapped.

"I only did what was best."

"You killed my parents!" Kaidan barked.

"No, I swear!" Udina was shaking visibly. "I loved Robert, like my own brother. I would never have killed them. Never!"

"If I could only believe you," Kaidan sighed. "In the name of your good service for Vancouver in the past twenty years, I spare your life."

"What?" Shepard gasped. "You're going to let him live?"

"I won't execute an unarmed prisoner." Kaidan looked down at Udina, who seemed nothing like the man Kaidan knew. "A proper court should decide his fate. Get up!" Kaidan yanked the man up to his feet and pushed him towards Kai Leng, who still stood leaning against the column. The assassin looked angry, but Kaidan considered him no more threat. He was injured and even he could not hope to win against all six of them.

A smile of victory spread on Kaidan face. It grew wider when Shepard turned to meet his gaze. In that moment, Kaidan could barely breathe for Shepard's image was both gruesome and stunningly beautiful. In the single moment Shepard's appearance impressed him yet again, Kaidan heard Kai Leng move.

The assassin shouted "Now!" then their surrounding were filled with thick white smoke. He coughed at the fog reaching into his lungs and dashed towards where the assassin and Udina where but grasped nothing but air. When he pierced through the thick fog, Kaidan just saw the robes of Udina disappear around the corner.

His legs moved without his brain to command it. He rushed around the stone, seeing Udina and Kai Leng running down the corridor. Without thinking, Kaidan lifted his own sword and threw it towards the two fleeing men. Kai Leng flipped to the side, letting the blade meet Udina's back. The politician fell onto the ground, sliding along the cold stone as the assassin promptly jumped out of the window and dissolving into a murder of black birds. Kaidan reached the window Kai Leng escaped through only moments later. But the sky was black and the birds were gone. He cursed loudly, then turned towards the dying man at his feet.

"Why?" Kaidan knelt down and almost whispered.

"I just..." Udina coughed up blood. "want what's... best for us. Van...couver needed a strong... king." Then, Udina closed his eyes and his body slackened.

Even thought Kaidan had learned to hate this man in the past hours, he couldn't help but feel the sadness of his passing. Udina and he had their differences, but they were still men who had pledged their lives to their city.

When Kaidan returned to the throne-room, Shepard was standing right in front of the throne. The Specter's stare was fixed on it, his thought hidden behind vacant expression. He had wiped the blood from his face and didn't take any notice of Kaidan's approach. A few feet away, Liara and James were crouched down before Ashley who was still unconscious. Kaidan thought that Ashley would have something to make up for once she awoke. Right now, he had other worries than the betrayal of his best friend.

"Hey," Shepard grunted when Kaidan was in his reach.

"Having doubts?" The prince said gently.

"I'm not made for this," he whispered.

"You said..." Kaidan swallowed. He couldn't really believe what he was hearing.

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking..." Shepard whispered. "He was on you and I was late. And the guy was pissing me off and well, I just..."

Instead of listening, the prince grabbed Shepard's shoulder and turned him around. He pushed the man so hard, he more or less fell into the throne and climbed into Shepard's lap. He pressed a kiss onto the Specter's lips and kept it there. His tongue pushed in, exploring Shepard's mouth as his hand moved down Shepard's arms.

The Specter was more than quick to grasp the game. His hands came up to cup Kaidan's nap, pressing their faces together. Kaidan moaned into Shepard's face, already feeling the lust rushing through his body. He sat down on Shepard's tights and swayed as best he could. Under his armor and leather garment, his cock was throbbing painfully. Kaidan did all he could to express his hopes, longing and gratitude with kisses and touches over armor.

When they came apart, Shepard's cheeks were flushed from more than just blood-stains. His eyes were dark with lust, trailing down to Kaidan's trembling lips. He snapped at the prince who dodged and chuckled. He could do this with Shepard the whole day, leaning everything there was to learn about this great, great man.

"So," Kaidan teased, a crooked smile sneaking into his features. "Still having second thoughts?"

"Well," Shepard grunted and moved his loins under Kaidan's open thighs "I might be able to get used to this."


	10. Epilogue

**A/N: Almost done. Last Chapters. Have a little fluff after all that fighting. :-D**

* * *

Uroboros

10\. Epilogue

"Shepard, stop!" Kaidan gasped, his voice a hoarse whisper. He threw his head back and pressed his hand over his mouth, smothering the moan that was about to escape. Shepard's lips were made for this.

In the alcove behind the main throne room, the future king of Vancouver knelt before his knight, his eyes closed and both hands grasped tightly around Kaidan's loins. The prince gasped as Shepard took him in completely. Shepard was only too eager to prove what his tongue could do and Kaidan believed he might actually cry out in pleasure.

"Please..." he begged again, looking down at the man sucking him in repeatedly. He shouldn't have done it, though. Watching Shepard work his magic was almost as arousing as having Shepard's lips on his cock. His hands moved to cup around Shepard's shaven head. He felt the short hair between his fingers and suppressed yet another groan. "I swear, if you don't..."

Shepard only hummed, sucking him deeper in.

"Dammit..." Kaidan gasped. His fingers closed around Shepard's arm and lifted the man up to himself. He felt Shepard's lips on his only a breath later, devouring him in the same manner.

Even now, Kaidan learned that being with Shepard wasn't about soft blushes and tender moments. It was quick, hard and filled with more passion than Kaidan believed possible. Whenever the great Specter was near him, heat rose from his deepest inside and pooled in his loins. When he gazed into Shepard's blue eyes, he felt his heart jump.

He gasped, exposing his neck for Shepard to kiss. He felt Shepard's teeth on his skin as battle hardened hand untied the top buttons on his robe. With a grin, Shepard moved downwards, tracing his tongue along Kaidan's chest to his sensitive nipples. He gave it a little teasing bite and laughed when Kaidan gasped out.

"Quiet," he whispered, opening Kaidan's pants further. "You don't want them to hear us, do you?"

Kaidan responded by pushing his own pants down. Shepard actually smirked at that. The Specter loosened his own belt fast than Kaidan had ever seen. Within a blink, Shepard's red, angry cock was revealed. Kaidan swallowed at the sight. He could never get tired of seeing Shepard's longing for him.

"Turn around!" The Specter breathed, already shifting Kaidan in his arms.

He pressed the prince against the wall in rough movements and pulled Kaidan's loins closer to himself. Kaidan heard Shepard ruffling his own robes and then something being unplugged. Already relaxing his body and breathing hard with anticipation, Kaidan felt as if he had waited for years when Shepard finally placed his hot cock against his entrance. Without much preparation or prelude, the Specter pressed in.

Kaidan smothered his moan on his arms, closing his eyes at the pleasure and lust spreading through him. The heat filled him and clouded his mind. As Shepard reached deeper into him, Kaidan began to tremble with the sheer sweetness of the sensation. The specter grunted behind him, his grasp growing in strength as he reached deeper into Kaidan. Not until Shepard was fully inside, he dared to breathe out, groaning close to Kaidan's ears.

"Move!" The prince gasped, almost begging.

The future king obeyed as if he was born to do it. He started slow, almost teasing. It would not be an exaggeration when Kaidan said that fucking was what Shepard did best, except for fighting. The way he controlled his body was beyond description. It was almost as if Shepard knew exactly what to do to drive Kaidan mad. He twisted his loins against Kaidan's receiving body and laughed as Kaidan winced at the pleasure. He bit into his own arm, trying not to made sounds that would rouse servants to investigate.

Then, Shepard started his assault. Just as he fought, the Specter knew no mercy. He pounded into Kaidan hard, making the prince grunt at every thrust. His hands closed around Kaidan's cock, pumping it in rhythm with each impact. In uncontrolled lust that was about to tear down all of Kaidan's composure, the prince threw his head back. Shepard immediately grasped his throat, tilting Kaidan's head back.

He pressed his wet lips against Kaidan's temple, kissing it as sweat coated his skin. He made sounds almost too primal for a human. It was lustful, but at the same time, the prince thought it was the pure expression of someone who never bothered separating love from sex.

"I'm so close!" Shepard grunted as he pressed again another kiss against Kaidan's skin. He let go of Kaidan's cock and throat, needing two hands to stabilize Kaidan's trembling body. Shepard pressed his face into Kaidan's nape and with a suppressed grunt, he spread into Kaidan.

Without Shepard's fingers, Kaidan moved to bring himself to an end. He heard Shepard gasp behind himself, trying to catch his breath. Barely a seconds passed when Shepard suddenly pulled out of Kaidan, making his seed drip down Kaidan's legs. Kaidan sighed out and leaned back against the wall, facing a blushed Shepard before him. The Specter hastily placed a kiss on Kaidan's lips and knelt down with a crooked grin.

Again, Kaidan was being swallowed. He didn't stop the future king but leaned his head back against the cold stone wall and enjoyed what was being done to him by Shepard's tongue. He gasped as Shepard's movement grew in speed and force. Only a few strokes later, Kaidan again felt the rush of climax building up in him. He allowed it, giving it free flow threw his body. This time, the prince couldn't stop himself from crying out as he shot his load deep into Shepard's throat.

Blood rushed in his ears and his legs trembled. He leaned back, gasping for air. Keeping his eyes closed, Kaidan only felt Shepard rising before him. He heard Shepard chuckled before warm lips found his again. Shepard still tasted like him when their tongue met. But Kaidan didn't really care. He swung his arms around Shepard's shoulders and pressed the Specter closer.

They kissed through the ebb of their lust and kept each other there. Though time was pressing, Kaidan just didn't want to let go. He kissed Shepard like he felt, as if there was no tomorrow. Never before had Kaidan kissed anyone like this for never before had he been this much in love.

When they finally parted, Kaidan's lips were swollen and his skin irritated. He gazed into those dark, blue eyes and became easily distracted by its beauty. Right now, Kaidan thought he could gaze into them forever.

"Why can't we do this somewhere normal?" He breathed softly, no sense of accusation in his tone. "Like in a bed."

"Where's the fun in that?" The future king chuckled back. He leaned in for their foreheads to touch. "Besides, anyone would know what we were doing. No one would be curious about the sounds you make."

"We've been seen?" The thought made Kaidan's cheeks heat up, bringing a deeper blush to his complexion.

"I think so," Shepard kissed Kaidan's temple again. "Wasn't really paying attention. But I think someone definitely heard you, though."

Pushing Shepard off hard than he had intended but still softer than the man deserved, Kaidan produced a handkerchief from his robes to clean his smeared legs. He pulled his pants up and retied the fly as Shepard did the same. But no matter how much they tried to conceive what had just happened, it was still quite visible. Especially Shepard, since the Specter was completely overcharged by the complexity of Vancouver Fashion.

"Come here," Kaidan said softly. He brushed Shepard's aimless finger aside and crammed Shepard's dark red shirt into his leather pants. He straightened the black armor Shepard refused to take off and smoothed the creases out of the gown every king needed to wear during his coronation. Then, Kaidan stepped back and took in the image of the man what was to become king in just a few minutes. "Looking good, Commander." He whistled and smiled. Though Shepard looked wilder, fiercer and crazier than any previous king, Kaidan thought it was quiet an enjoyable sight. The ladies would love him and the knight would envy him. In that moment, Kaidan was proud that he had the honor of having called Shepard his betrothed for a few days.

"I should have a painting made of me like this," Shepard grinned, squaring his shoulders. "Maybe you would like to keep it?"

"Certainly," Kaidan chuckled and extended one hand. "But how about we have you crowned first?"

He led Shepard down the hallway to where the council of Vancouver were gathered. The noble men and women turned towards them and bowed before the man whom they called savage just a fortnight ago. Kaidan nodded towards Shepard and moved off to talk to Ashley. After a whole week where she tried to apologize every time they met, Kaidan had finally calmed down enough to talk to her. He always knew that she had acted as her conscience dictated and only wanted the best for Vancouver. But it still was her fallible judgment that had brought Kaidan the shame of being accused as a traitor.

But on the bright side, if she didn't reveal his dealings with Shepard, he would have never been arrested. Shepard would never have come back to the city to save him and realize that he indeed had a place here.

As Kaidan watched Shepard accept the sword of Arcturus along with his new responsibility, he couldn't stop the tears coming to his eyes. He listened to Shepard's vow to protect his people, all his people and lead them into a new future. When the crown was placed on his head, it was as if the savage warlord was gone, instead a king was born. When Shepard turned towards his subjects and raised his sword high, the throne-room fell into never-ending applause.

Kaidan stepped forwards as he was told before. He unsheathed his sword and placed it on the ground before Shepard. He had been waiting for this day ever since King Steven died. He had believed in this moment and worked for it ever since he was only fifteen years old. Now that he was finally here, Kaidan felt as if all his efforts were returned tenfold.

When he finally pledged himself to the new king, he meant every word. Kaidan always knew that he would love his king, but never in his boldest dreams had he dared to imagine that he would love him not just as a king, but also as a man.

Every coronation was followed by a celebration. With Specters to lighten the mood, what would have been an uptight procedure of giving and accepting congratulations and vow of loyalties turned into a party that would be the topic of every conversation for at least a year.

Everything that could happen, happened. It started with Grunt shouting things that was inappropriate for ladies at court, to Garrus kissing Shepard in front of all people. Once or twice, Kaidan caught noble disapproving of Shepard's familiar relationships with his brothers, but was quickly overwhelmed by their honesty. What seemed his greatest flaw quickly became a source charm, giving him just the right edge to persuade them to dance and laugh.

It was hours later when Kaidan excused himself from the feast after stumping upon Ashley having a very private conversation with the Specter Warrior James. They push off each other in utter surprise as if by magic, then blushed in the cutest way. The knight only padded Ash on the shoulder and left the celebration with a shy smile.

After all what had happened in the past few weeks, everyone deserved a little happiness. He stopped at a balcony overlooking Vancouver, simply taking in the night's air. He thought of King Steven and Lady Hannah. He had finally returned their son to the throne where he belonged.

"Oh, there you are. I wondered where you went."

He smiled into himself and turned to see Shepard striding towards him, his crown whirling in one hand. The king placed it on the railing and joined Kaidan in his silent watch. For a moment, they simply enjoyed each other's presence as they dwelt in their own thoughts. Eventually, Shepard sighed.

"I..." he started. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"The trouble. I know it's been ugly for you in the last weeks and it's all my fault," The king swallowed hard and turned to face Kaidan fully. "If I didn't come, well, you'd still be prince regent and your parents... Well, for that I'm truly sorry."

"Does a crown change your personality?" Kaidan teased.

"I suppose it does." The king nodded. "It weights heavy and I hope I can live up to it. A lot of lives depend on me now."

"It did before."

"Yes, but they were all warriors. They knew the score. It's different now."

"True," Kaidan nodded. "And that's why we needed you. You're strong and you can protect them."

"But sometimes, I want to be weak, too." Shepard sighed. "I can win a fight against any man, but sometimes, I don't want to fight. I just want to lay back, knowing that there is someone looking out for me."

"Someone?" Kaidan asked, searching Shepard's eyes for an answer.

But Shepard was looking everywhere but to Kaidan. He even fidgeted. "Kaidan, I... I'm not sure if we are still engaged or not. You left me and I came back. We had our differences, but..." he took a deep breath. "I still love you. And I know you feel something for me and that it's not just desire. So..."

"Yes, Shepard?"

"So, if you'll have me," Shepard sunk down to one knee. "I'll be honored to be your husband."

"What?" Kaidan had expected anything but that. He though Shepard would ask him to be a paramour or lover, but not a husband.

"I swear to be true and loyal. I want to share my life with you and everything that is mine to share." Shepard said, his eyes sparkling with honesty. "I want to have you by my side, Kaidan. You keep me sane and you give me strength. With you, I feel I can truly be myself. And above all," Shepard took Kaidan's hands into his. "You bring out the best in me, in every aspect."

"Has anyone told you you're a romantic, my King?" Kaidan squeezed the hands in his.

"I've never been accused of that." Shepard grinned. "So, what do you say? A lifetime with me?"

"You're not going to get up until I say yes, are you?"

"Nope."

"Then my answer is yes." Kaidan pulled Shepard up for a kiss. It was short and gentle, but meant more than all those before. "Can't have my King on his knees all night, can I?"

"I wouldn't mind kneeling before you." Shepard leaned in closer, stealing another kiss. "You know I'm good at it."

"John..." Kaidan chuckled and allowed himself be pulled into a tender embrace. "You know, after all these years, I already love you without knowing it. Thank you for opening my eyes."

"You just say that because I'm your king."

"My king and my husband."

THE END

* * *

 **Thank you all so much for reading. Writing this was both fun and stressful. And somehow this piece of fantasy just needed to get out of my system^^**

 **And if it pleases you, leave a comment. I'm terribly curious about what you're thinking right now. :-)**

 **HeavenOnFire**


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